What is wrong with me?
am i ... ... ... ???
why am i so affected by it?
Ugh.
Why did it happen.
Cant sleep.
1 in the morn, and i can't fall asleep.
Thats so unlike me.
and when i wake up,
it was only 8 in the morning.
Suddenly i jus wanted to seek God
Wanted to ask Him why.
Wanted to ask Him whats wrong with me.
Why am i behaving in this way.
Why why why why why why?
Sobbbsss...
Sobbbsss...
i need to tell somebody...
Are you there God? Its me...
Something is terribly wrong with me...
I need medicine...
I dont want ppl to think i.. i..
Sob.
Hate you. Hate you.
Hate both of you for making my life AGAIN.

i want to get out of it.
i don't want to get stuck in the well.
i wanna climb out of it.
i need a ladder to be placed in the well...
Shouts out to God... are you there...? Are you there God?
Why is my life like this again?

I'm still waiting for the answer, for a sign, for everything..
can you please God, please tell me what to do...
Please God..
thank you..

ok i got my lappie back. Dont know if i shd be happy or not. Sigh...

as usual, my life is in another mess. Ugh.

projects, tests, presentations. Ugh. Everyday, everyweek i look forward to fridays.

going for dinner with my BS gals later.. mtg at clementi instead.

think they wanna bowl, but i cant afford to cuz got cma tutorial not yet do. Ugh.

Shit (x3)

i wanna go for a holiday... Sobsss.. get outta S'pore and breathe normally elsewhere.

It was jus great. God's presence was so overpowering, thank Him for that.. Really AWESOME, FABULOUS, AMAZING etc.. Skit was farnie, esp Sharon, that girl can really act man.

three mad woman came.. Jess, Liz n Cheryl. all suan me tog with Grace, Dot.. What great friends i have huh.. Gang up and bully me..

Borrowed a cammie fr my aunty, and there was film inside, but only can take 12 pics! i was like WTH the whole way, cuz i wasted it taking ton of pics of the skit! ARGHHH... Hahaha.. but heng Fish brot hers...

Nic's Birthday is coming-09-08.. Cool huh, the world nation is celebrating it for him.. haha.. muz crack my brains to think of what ta do for him! haha...

Going airport later! Yeeps.. Supposedly to go kaypoh n pick Hariette up, but act going to buy the chocs and eat that whatever chicken they are talking about! haha... 

and there's school tmr, sobsss.. dun wanna go. sobs. and so many projects. Sobbs. Deutsch is driving me CRAZY. Sobss.. and the test is in a few wks time. Ugh. Double, triple UGH.

huh?

cant wait for tmr man.. haha.. haha.. haha.. even got balloons, kinda mad, but still, its gonna be so much fun..

went to diaso jus now.. got all the cool tins/cans! and the retro polka dot mini bags! Cheap n good! hahas.. so funnn.. wanna go back there soon..

was a eventful wk filled with thunderstorms, hardly see and rainbow at all...

so depressed on Fri.. Cheryl shd know why haha.

sometimes i wish i can SHUT PEOPLE up.. but that's jus a thought lah, not a thing i can do.. so it'll remain a dream, and i can only keep dreaming.

frankly speaking, i dont give a damn to your life. so dont tell me about whats going on alright? Jus button up your lips and everyone else will be thanking God.

Dont bullshit abt being sorry when u dont mean it at all. Dont say u r guilty when u are not. Cuz they are mere POLLUTION to my ears. And my ears are clean, so jus make sure u dont dirty it.

gonna get over it. wont let depression get over me.. No way.

ok, its a saturday, and im in church as usual, music prac.
 
tons of work to do, blaw, econs, hr, etc etc. hate it.
 
hate the bloody, spastic, idiotic, moronic, irritating old bitchy spinster.
 
wanna kick her ass and make sure she flies off and never come back.
 
feel like jus stabbing her.
 
everybody's back now safely.
 
got to catch up with em.
 
watched spidy man 2 with em on thurs..
 
dottie came too.
 
quite nice, didnt think i'll ever watch it in the 1st place.
 
anyway, enjoyed it.
 
sign up for that UOB card.
 
gosh, so excited bout it.
 
went for life but didnt get to reallli stay in there.
 
really love the "My reedeemeer lives" jumping.
 
u dont find that in SJCCC.
 
but pray that its really the heart of worship
 
and not jus the jumping.

 

Praise God, they are back! Made in for svc today! Except for Nic, Aud n Dot.. Poor Doral's passport & money got pickpocketted! Sobss.. poor girl!

anyway its so glad to see em! when i saw fish i was like, is that Sharon? then i went closer and realised its Fish! i screamed like mad k! aft that saw Gracie! So HAPPY! i was practically beaming when i saw em! Eug was there also.. Anyway, had a good catching up with her..

am gonna talk loads nxt wk.. haha.. cant wait! so nice, got a BIG NICE HUGG from Gracie! So niceeee...

went to Times n help Grace..

hey gal!!! got ur nice msg from ah bee! we are always thinkin of u here in sydney! everyday we walk long long journeys, think if u are here u shall PENG! haha.. n we save n save like AUNTIES lorr cuz the meals here ard 7dollars k! aiyooo... and when we finally go supermarket today we were so happy tat there are vege n fruits we choose n pick n laugh pple think we muz be NUTS! hahaha...
anyway gtg, hope u r doing fine in school!! HUGZ from sydney!!! :)

the above msg is brought to u by Grace...

i miss em!!! Sobssssssssss...
how i wish i was there!
school's ok but i dun really like it i guess.
then the caterpillar thingy, so traumatising!
lecturers are terrible, horrible.
mad mad people.
and everythg is so tough.
how to cope.
and my lappy.
driving me nuts.
cried my eyes out.
hate it.

7 more days.
and i'll c em.