im so freaking bored at work. eyes are soooo heavy, anytime soon i'll doze off. skipped class ytd for a break n a haircut, look like a chinadoll now with a concave fringe.ugh. its friday, but sats gonna be a bloody longgg day from 9-5. hate it! grrrr. i wouldnt mind if lecturer's ravi or sm interesting fella but definitely nt this stephen gaunson guy!boo. anw this was type in the morn, now its almost knock off time. managed to pia finish the more impt wk. phew. else cant make in time for tonight.

on another note, the bestfriend is gonna be away from the 3rd til idunnowhen. sobs. lucky ass who gets to go jetset while im stuck in this miserable rut, having to balance job and sucky sch. my life's a mess. sigh. when isit ever my turn to go for a holi?! sobs. i hate wallowing in self pity but i cant help it. hais.

and adding on to my misery is the stupid ibank transaction thingy. they havent fucking gt back to us like since ytd . shit u for cheating my money. shites. bugger off! f.

its sat tmr and i gt yucky lessons.bleah. ): ive got nothing to look fwd to all wkend. and bestie has to go attend a wedding on sunday. mayb thaddeus will make me happy. i dont know. but i got a feeling he will.

ciao.

ok, im not trying to be cynical, or cold-blooded. there has been the recent big hoo-ha abt the misfortunate event of the 5 dragonboaters.what i cannot understand is the numerous no. of ppl being so upset about it when they aren't even related to them in anw. just like the princess di phenomenon. reminded me of the show"money no enough" whereby these few sisters wept buckets when they heard abt demise of princess di, and when their mother died, they couldnt even be bothered about it. mayb its just me being skeptical. smhw i feel that everyone seems to want a piece of it. being involved. attending their wake. signing on memoirs. whatever. i deem it as nt entirely genuine.

makes me wonder if it happened to a relative/whatsoever, would u be as bothered? sigh. this is so confusing. call me heartless, whatever. i don't care. but i'll sure cherish those ard me. i shall try.

and i shall skip class today and go for a hair cut. wheee. and tgif soon. sucks to have lesson on sat tho.sigh.

school has started and i was in much anticipation of it, only to be dismayed by a monotonous, uninteresting, ho hum lecturer. to think i have such high expectations of angmoh, but this guy makes me sleep. bah! the way he delivers is impossible. hypnotizing. and only this grp of girls in front are entertaining him. i thought young angmohs might be u know, engaging but i was wrong! So i started toying with rocher wrappers on the table, making hair extensions, making dummy ones which is seemingly real for mates. haha. funny shit. but yeah, thats what keeping me gg. dreading class on thurs and sat already. sigh. Am so not looking forward to it. deprive me of my beauty sleep and time i get to spend with loved ones. bleah.

on another note, went to watch my dad perf at sm singing competition. and i sure laugh my head off over his silly antics, nt forgetting all those farnie stuff that happened. the super unpolished emcees, the aunties with the blings and bk cracks instead of cleavage cracks(cos the dress were too tight), and some really impossible singers. ROFL. followed by supper with 2 unknown strangers, well frens of pops and they sent the twinie and i home. had supper with them and it was way beyond awkward. but they were rather nice la. cept that they make me feel a little small.poof.

on another note, i can hardly pry my eyes open in the morning. cant keep them fr closing. ugh. hate mornings! and ps. i dreamt of the stupid elf and the stupid pixie again.sigh. what does it mean if i keep dreaming of ppl i don't like? sigh.

22 november 2007

my mind was in a whirlpool. i was tired: physically, mentally and emotionally. somehow i feel God likes to play jokes on me. i don't know why either. some people try so hard getting things that were never meant to be theirs, some dont have to try and it just appear to their doorstep.

was reading my text for theories of comm and persuasion, saw this theory by this Bourdieu guy. and i kinda thot it ties in nicely. Quote"value is placed on products according to their social status, as well as cost and scarcity....Individuals and groups identify each other and their social positioning according to their taste, including their taste in music and clothing styles... people are not born with superior or inferior tastes in cultural products; rather, the economic system of capitalism requires disctinctions in order to operate.

the other fella critical of Bourdieu is good too. He, Baudrillard, in fact begins from a rather different perspective to that of Bourdieu. For him, contemporary culture is a deluge of signs, symbols and images. Quotes"the Princess Di phenomenon, the killings at Columbine, the love affairs of Leonardo DiCaprio-all are constituted through a new televisual culture, a new reality, a hyperreality, which has no substance and no fixed form. This hyperreality creates new forms of stimulation, new forms of arousal and demand, new forms of erratic consumption. The product becomes intensely sexualized, often through the deployment of a young female body - but this arousal is a stimulation and can never be satisfied.The consumer is prompted to act and consume; however, the deluge of images and signs is unending and the urge to consume is never consummated, never quite complete.

In Baudrillard's terms, therefore, the sign overtakes the product as the primary source of arousal and action. Because it is nothing more than a sign, a powerfully sexualized sign, the consumer can never escape its abstraction. The proliferation of signs continues to stimulate.The BMW is sexually imaged and motivates some form of consumption - if not the car, then something else. But ultimately, there is nothing there. the sign is vacant, leading merely to another sign, another amorphous arousal, another vacuous avatar.... EVERYTHING IS AN IMITATION OF AN IMITATION - A SIMULACRA."

sorry if this is too much to digest for a friday, just some food for thought... thought it all makes sense. so duh can, then why the hell am i always so caught up in the rat race? ugh.life's a contradictory.

weekend came, and gone all in a whizzz! didnt even get to enjoy it cos of the proj. many thanks to help fr demin, i think i need to acknowledge her in the reference, as well as attribute to her. hehs. so glad its done and over with, and at least i can rest for a wk before beginning on another battle which wil last me 2 weeks! madness.



work is so sianing. totally dread hvg to wake up at 7plus in the morn. i so abhor mornings! if only nights will last forever. on another note, the pops are nt in town, over to our neighbour for some unwinding. wish i was there, sigh... so gotta seek refuge at the bestie's plc. who has been really nice and make me feel so welcome as usual. but i gotta cm outta the shell and nt be so frightened of the pops. and sista.



i wanna go do smthg fun. like to the beach.(ps nt cycling pls) haha. to the zoo.night saf.science centre. sentosa. smthg to let me unwind. i need it badly. nt shopping/movie. smthg else. desperately. gg bonkers in the office. but i did ot last fri and that day fetch me a good 100buckeroos. im sucha moneyface. need to get over it for materials like plastic, never last.

today is tuesday. aka tu4si3 day. hate the sucky feeling of gg bk to work. yucks.

anw, have been neglecting this baby of mine. thanks to endless piles of notes to study. dont even have time for reading newspapers/magazines but TV yes. haha. am so glad its all over! nw have to pia for proj then can let hair down for a wk before sch starts to torture me.

on a happier note, PR paper was a breeze!wheee. mann i studied damn hard for it ok! hehs. and God was faithful too. just hope proj can do well and at least get a distinction! went out with the class peeps for lunch at super sucky place called yuki yaki. RIGHT, IT WAS YAKI(YUCKY). gross man. i really think i cant click with sm of them. fancy gg to such places for lunch. if it was nt for the bday girl, i'd have violently objected! but i have to say churning the ice cream was fun tho i totally suck at it. boo. then went for some retail therapy before mtg the bestie.

outta here now. lunchtime's over. boohohoo...