my heart is pounding. any moment and it will explode. ahhh fuck. not like i dont have enough worries of my own. mediocre as it may seem to be. smtimes i wish i wasnt the one who fired it all. but then again, i'd nv have imagined such to happen. im so hating all these shit! fuck. i jus feel like dying. sobs.

why cant things be easier for me. sobs. i nv wanted much. jus small little things. or even for u to be happy with me. my heart is literally throbbing. so much pain in it. perhaps i am asking too much. perhaps its all too far-fetched. or mayb theres so much which i havent perceive it to be.

and i stil get jitters before gg for classes. really hate the process of makign new frens. its so gross and fake and smelly. and i really wanna do the assignmt alone, yet am afraid that nxt time when i need projmates, others will already form their own teams. sigh. why cant God make it easier for me. why do i have to go thru all these shit. sobs.

why do stars fall down from the sky
everytime you walk by?
just like me, they long to be
close to you.