singapore discovery centre was a tad boring.boo. so much for anticipating the simulator ride. and the iwerks movie was super sianing.bleah.

anyway whatever P said that night was bothering me. why is it that if i dont have a boyfriend, and im really close to a girlfren, and that equates that we're lesbians? wtf. am so pissed. AND in the first place, from where did u get the conclusion that we're even close?? i didnt even fking talk to u since like dinosaurs were still ard? sigh. u're making me disgusted can. pui. dont u dare cast a judgement on me when u aint even PERFECT.

it was gd to see charm n moon! lunch tog with turbs n the 2 girls.. and boy did they gang up to make fun of me!! bleah. haaa..jus laugh my head off. then choir prac was eeks la. o'holy nite is driving us up the wall. and seeing the disgusting ppl's face jus make me wanna puke all over them. just hate ppl who try to hard to be different. and hate those who try so hard just to hope others will notice them and like them. to hell with it.

what a post filled with vengeance and hatred. LOL.

and worstill the stupid job!! asking me to make the decision, and prolly backstabbing in the back? hell. cant wait to get outta here already. want to have a break!! want to go shop for christmas pressies. boo.

anw, eventful wkend to boot. caught happy feet. courtesy of nick.. anw, nought much, perhaps more of a musical.haaaa. back to work. yawns.

its tuesday. boo. had a hard time getting up from bed. hate early mornings. unless its for fun. otherwise, we shd start the day from noon. bleah.

and xxx have nt get what i taught her into her head yet! its the 3rd day already, and she still doesnt know the ropes well.. ugh. sure hope she wil pick up speed. else she will be eliminated!! then again, i took a rather long time to get things gg. so there, i oughta be more patient. God gimme strength pls!

guess nt heading sim for the time being. til i can sort out my thoughts and get a clearer picture of where i shd head. at least i can slowly sit thru and think. and i thank God for understanding parents who nv fail to support me. tho when my mama ask me to think abt my future, she prolly implied that i shd do smthg that makes money, and nt what i like. i dunno. anw, its nice to know that there are those who care. appreciate it. (:

im boredddddd. cant wait to get outta here.

twin whipped up a nt-too-bad dinner for her family on fri cos of her mamas bday! so schweet. hehs. and im invited too! quite a cosy affair la, having dinna with the ones u loved. tho as usual i felt extra. hehs. cant help it la!

cruise ard town area on saturday with twin behind the wheel. gt the supplies fr art fren to paint mei's mirror. gt basil green pretty pretty! but gt the car scratched cos of bloody chaonehnehs. super zonked out aft the waiting btw each coats n all the varnishing. boo. left the putting up of flowers on the mirror. wonder when we'll have the time to get it done! hmmm.

the to study/nt to study issue is tormenting me like theres nt tmr. sigh. and the deadline to reply sim is like tmr, else i gotta wait for like another 1/2 a year. but guess im nt gonna rush into it, since a whopping 20k is involve. ugh. dont want to be bothered abt it until aft christmas. i want a carefree christmas!!! haa.

town ytd alone in the early noon cos of the stupid bastard. if he werent there, i would have had a gd lunch with my pops. screw u idiot. so i went shopping alone in orchard but lucky dajia came to my rescue! else i'd have died of boredom. but she took solong to come. sobs. but at least she came!! hehs. love her to bits. but i just made her upset again with my stupid words emitting fr my smelly mouth. boo.

its so bored it here. another 3 hours to kill before home sweet home. sians.

ive crossed the limits this time. period. nv intended things to end up this way. keep emitting hurtful words fr my mouth, so sharp they cut. sigh. time and again i hurt the ones i love. i break promises which i have initiated. i lose the trust that others have in me. regardless of how many times i say sorry, i know there will always be this crack deep down. give me another chance, and i swear i would hv never said such stuff..

but smtimes i wish u would let the good rule over the bad, and look at the gd sides instead. but of cos i dont do good jus so that when i do bad, all will be covered up. NO. no strings attached at all. perhaps u shd be given time to think thru bout this frenship, whether if it shd be kept. for i am uncertain of whr we shd go fr nw. im a bad fren to keep. sigh. oh wells. hope all will turn out well and God make me a better person. im disgusted by my own actions. eeks.

anyway, it was a pretty much difficult night for me before. woke up before my alarm rang this morning. super early for work. which is gd in a way. its gg to be a busy day since both are nt ard to help me. shall wallow in self pity and perhaps die in C&C.

for once, i am NOT suffering from monday blues! cos perhaps the wkend was gd enuff. hehs.

girls nite out with gracie and dottie on fri. had dinna tog and jus laughed at silly things. tho it felt strangely weird at certain times. oh wells. im glad at least we all made the effort to come together and cast all our differences aside. im glad.

slumber at twins place on fri, went to get the awfully banana choc cake in the morn for mama's bday celeb.then invited twin n mei over for steak, cos dad's cooking! and i was glad they enjoyed the simple fare. haaaa! think my mama was quite happy la, so many ppl celeb for her. tho it was kinda funny that i invited my frens over, as if it was my bday. haa but nvm la, the girls were a bunch of lovelies anyway! acc turbs to work aft tt, and boy was mango hilarious! nice fren to keep la, since he's almost as sampat as a girl, or prolly even more sampat than turbs n myself.

sunday.. had choir prac and it was a disaster!!! didnt even know what the hell they were singing, had so much difficulty. but thank God for the cd, at least i can practice to it now. afterwards had tea with old peeps and finally the question arise -" where should we finally go?" HAHA. sigh. nt much cell choices to begin with anyway. its either to joshua, to the adult zone, or stay rooted in elijah. nt as if the other sound good. ugh. dunno la.

anyway, its 647, and im stil in the office, nt knowing where to head. well done! haaaa. til then, laters~!

feeling super lousy ytd, cos of the stupid laselle shit. sigh. hate it when i dunno where to head, where blurred visions of what i want to do arise time n again. so... i took half day off to do some retail therapy. and a hell lot of retail therapy. total damage was bout 200 inclusive on the stuff i got on tues! but im happy. super happy. gt my kiss n tell bra from women's secret, green velvety bag from assesorize, tank from mango, nalgene bottle, 3/4s jeans, tank top, and belt from dorothy perkins! woohoo. and then gt the photo album e other day, plus the mini earrings chest plus my secret stash too!! am over the moon. but just wondering how im gonna tide thru the whole of this mth with christmas round the corner. madness!! gotta scrimp and save, cos the bacon i bring home is really peanuts.

just gt acceptance letter fr sim, wondering if its the place i shd head. really appreciate all the comments fr loved ones. thankful to all for enlightening me. i feel encouraged and loved. esp to the one who called and ask so many qns regarding the grant on my behalf. simply taking initiative for i didnt even ask her to do so. oh wells. im super touched la.

anyway, was shopping alone, cos was so depress i had to do sm retail therapy. and thank God i bumped into fish n mag, and they acc me! or rather, i acc them. hahaha.. makes me feel like im nt left alone in the world. God is good. so thankful for all the little things. jus like the new temp girl felicia too. at least i have smone to work with nw, nt in the little world where i have to do everythg alone. hehs.

feeling good now. and best of all, its FRIDAY tmr! *woots

i am suffering from monday blues. i need to see a depression doctor. or a shrink. every wk it'll take its toil on me.

spent wkend at turbs house. again. acc twin to work on sat, and to our shock and disbelief, mei was there. HAHA. and she seems to be acting a little weird. perhaps feeling green that i was there with twin, even on fri. hehs. oops. but nvm, im lurving it. anw, she jus let me see the vast diff btw bestie and her. incomparable that is. and im so glad i chose the right one. one who was there all the time irregardless of what happened. thank God for that. oh well. nt to say that she's horrid and all. of cos she's nice at times, but just nt enough, and nt the way it shd be when dealing with me.
dinner in town then drove bk home to get clothes for church, then bk to babe's house. and the journey was horrifying!!! sobs. i gt a bad shock. i probably cause it myself, but anw, all's well and im thankful for that. think im pmsing. jus hope that i'll get a grip of myself and stop being all mean and nasty to others. i feel lousy. but yet when i do it, emotions run dry. i need to die and disappear la.

caught oh in ohio ytd, quite a spastic show, orgasmic comedy! wakaka.. walk ard ps, had our dinner before heading back home.

i think i have the silliest fren in the whole world. all the retarded antics cmg fr her are gonna keep me gg for the rest of the wk. and running together aft being 'followed' by the bangladesh was fk funny.love it.love dajia.

am down with gastric flu plus running a fever, but am so much better now. guess can go back to work tmr! has been 2 gd days of resting at home, and replenishing my sleep. simply weary cos of mon n tues.. and the frantic rush at work was driving us bonkers.

turbs gt temp job at mei's office.. smhw feel that ive gotten her into the shit.oops. cos usually i wouldnt have replied in such a manner. how weird. sigh. hopefully these 10 days will flash past.

just checkd out the laselle site again.. seems a little confusing for me to understand. sigh. really hate it when i dunno what to do nxt. perhaps i wont be happy at rmit, but the future seems more secure and safe. laselle will be fun yes, but what kinda future wil it bring me? and the portfolio plus interview shit is already scaring the shit out of me. sigh. hate making decisions. if only God will show me how..

anw.. i didnt expect a call fr him at all. it was sweet tho. ohwells. you're my number 1 bitch. how nice. thanks ah. hahaaa.