school is getting better i guess. God is stil nice to me. tho i dont deserve it. i've decided to do the proj with them. thot i shd prob not outcast myself. so there. mayb i'll just volunteer to compile it or smthg.

another marked exercise today. bleah. asked us to write our goals for public relations writing, what we hope to accomplish blah. have been eons since i last wrote smthg proper. ugh. i really think my angmoh cannot. eeks. and so i crapped saying i hope to be a public relations writer for FJ Benjamin! haha paiseh, i 'borrowed' yr ideal wk place twinnie. wahhaa. and say in order to get the scoops and all i have to read more fashion mags, blah. sigh. hope i can get a credit and above for it man. tho i think not. cos my writing is like shit = many diff pieces. HAHA.

today i managed to make more frens, and also exchange emails n nos. and all. things are probably picking up. i really hope it will. sucky part is that ive gotta craft a news release over the weekend! eeks.

actually lessons are quite interesting, i kinda enjoy it. and ive got farnie classmates who smell a little strange with their endless silly questions. i pray that things wil get better and better pls!

then had dinna with pops aft lesson n daddy send us home. awwww. so sweeeeeet.

per se: twinnie babe. i know u are going thru a rough period at this pt of time. but hang in there ok. God sees yr heart and i am so positive that He'll forgive us as long as we are willing to repent. it may seem bleak at the moment, but perk yrself up, it wil all be over soon. the rainbow will be out to embrace us, and from there shall we start anew.
*looking forward to our mtg tmr for i miss u so much! hugs & love.

my heart is pounding. any moment and it will explode. ahhh fuck. not like i dont have enough worries of my own. mediocre as it may seem to be. smtimes i wish i wasnt the one who fired it all. but then again, i'd nv have imagined such to happen. im so hating all these shit! fuck. i jus feel like dying. sobs.

why cant things be easier for me. sobs. i nv wanted much. jus small little things. or even for u to be happy with me. my heart is literally throbbing. so much pain in it. perhaps i am asking too much. perhaps its all too far-fetched. or mayb theres so much which i havent perceive it to be.

and i stil get jitters before gg for classes. really hate the process of makign new frens. its so gross and fake and smelly. and i really wanna do the assignmt alone, yet am afraid that nxt time when i need projmates, others will already form their own teams. sigh. why cant God make it easier for me. why do i have to go thru all these shit. sobs.

why do stars fall down from the sky
everytime you walk by?
just like me, they long to be
close to you.

God is faithful. and im really thankful how He has pulled me thru the past few days. to begin with, first day at sch sucked. i was late n so jus sat down along the aisle with sm girl. and i didnt exactly have much chance to mingle ard la, so i felt really friendless. sigh. was a depressing start. PR writing seems pretty tough. and work on wed was nt getting any better. cos familiar ppl weren't ard, but i gt 2 malays and 1 extremely quiet guy. sigh. hate tt freaking combi. and they made me take over a counter. like HELLO its only my 2nd day, and they seemed to expect me to rem everythg so clearly. bullcraps. then made me stay til the last duck came bk. like wth lor. the 1st day there, others were all so nice to me, and i even managed to knock off super early. but sigh. i sure hope i dont get that disgusting combi again. *cross fingers*. to top it off, my phone was cut off, no access to calling/smsing cos of delay in paymt of bill. that made me even more upset. was in tears when i rang twin up using the public phone. but thankfully i was able to use it aft an hr. and twin came to visit me cos she was mtg her friend there. then she lingered ard til i knock off n have dinna tog. sweet. then went for my mtg in church and she came to pick me up to send me home to take things n bk to her plc again.

then before i went back aft wk on wed, ppl fr office asked me to be on the kermee bus the whole day on thurs cos apparently there was some shoot going on, and i jus need to sit ard and make sure they dont do anythg stupid. so i went, thank God i called the captain, else he would have missed me cos they bloody didnt told him i was cmg along. anw i was redundant la. they were shootg a commercial to be aired in India. long story la. but quite interesting. tho i hate the fact that the peeps there were 99% guys. eeks. smore either ahbangs/nehnehs. so there. but adored the fact that i didnt have to be at counter! but then again, i really do get satisfaction when tourists smile at me, or even seemed really grateful for the info provided and all. haha. ohwells. what a contradictory. anw, went off to sch really early, like an hr early. haha. and i made new friends! wheee. i feel so much happier n relieved nw man. phew.

have been helping twinnie with the publicity thingy using macromedia. first time! and im so proud of myself for the little bit of poster done! but its making us pull all our hair out. ugh. can be quite frustrating man.

and tmr's the mid-autumn celeb thingy in church. hope the ktv doesnt screw up pls God. and that the balloon can be blown. (and burst too.HAHA.)

blessed wkend ahead~!

first day at ducktours last thurs. nice peeps there. but still feel pretty much lonely tho there was a new intern with me. prob takes time to settle down and mix in. so there. almost got myself screwed when we miscalculated and forgot to charge for 6 tics! thank God we managed to get the person. else habis. anw, job scope's pretty fun. haha. required to do boarding, meaning use the mic n asking them to gather and watch a 5min video before boarding the duck, then bringing them out to the duck, then tearing off the tic stubs. haha. slack! but just started training for the sales of tickets. guess i dont like that too much. haha scary! and then i had a nice surprise from bestie! she came with her mama. oops.paiseh. and she brought me mangopassionfruit from starbucks! so sweet. hee. muacks.

then i cut my hair on fri. bohoho. guess i dont like it. too much on the sides makes my face look fat.! ugh.nvm. hope it will grow out soon.

sat was spent at church for prac then over to suntec for bike fest. went down with twin, thinking mei wil be alone but alas! eug was there. haiya. nvm. its good to do nice at times.

sunday was good! had lunch aft svc then went to vivo for mini retail therapy at daiso! hee. then we caught evan almighty which was NICEEEEE N FARNIEEEE. hehhehes. then over to clarke for riverside indonesian food...! then we walked ard, and took many silly piccas. loved the day!
hope theres more to come with babe. cos it feels like a long time since we last hung out so freely. cos there was the chinatrip, the funeral.. so there. more happy times pls babe! (:

theres classes tmr! first class! ugh.s cary again. haiyo. new frens, new projmates. hope God'll grant me with nice peeps man.

work on wed n thurs. think i shd prolly get another job. any lobangs pls tell me, thanks!

shit happens because its a shitty day. sigh. first the hairdresser, then the pops, then the internship then the bloody jeans.skunk. __ anw i gt a job. so hopefully that will make YOU happy. i will jolly well get anothr since its part time. no worries, i will work v hard to support myself. and its work day tmr. meaning i must be up at 7. sigh. the thought of it is sianing enough. ohwells. do i have a choice? guess i dont. but am just thankful enough for a job. but already fretting what i shd do during lunchtime. sobs. sigh.

i need to cut my hair desperately. cos the locks are so long, its making me feel super HOT as in PERSPIRINGLY HOT. grrrr. and chris is missing. hw nice. ahhhh. guess its contributing to the temper these days. darn.

sigh. im feeling super down today. huai4 liao1.tsktsktsk. i hate myself for being in self-denial, self-deluding all the time. i always think that things will happen that way but it always turn out the other. sigh. i really oughta snap out of it. perhaps i mean nothing after all. and mayb when i reach enlightenment, things like this will nv bother me again and i wil be a free, spirited soul. yes i will be.

i hope the embark of a brand new day ahead will bring me surprises filled with lotsa love from above. God gimme strength, wisdom too pls. thank uuu.

woohoo! the best friend is back! and we met ytd tho for a short time. adored the company. too bad she had to leave early. then this morn she was supp to acc for an intv, and go chop our hair. but rec the devastating news that her grandpa passed away. sigh. life is fragile aint it. dear if u see this, cheerie up ok, he is in a much better place now. (: and so... i had to go for intv alone! contemplated nt gg but i went anw. and thank God it was ok, tho she did asked me qns which i hadnt thot of. but anw, she say i might get the job, hehs, gonna wait for her call on sunday, and which she says i wil hv to go down for anth chitchat with her. mann i really do hope to get the job, if its according to God's plans! customer relations officer for ducktours! sounds fun already. wheee. job scope seems pretty fun too, according to her that is. just that smtimes we do get sucky customers. whatever it is, im gonna pray for His plans to reveal to me! and then took bus back, passed by substance and it was closed! got a bad feeling the shop's GONE. cos i called the plc, and the number was nt in use. sure hope i can get Chris, else i will be quite sad, no one to handle my locks. boo.

meeting jess n liz tmr. sigh. dunno what to expect also. smtimes the convo can get pretty DUH. cos they seemed to enjoy talking abt bfs and all. i mean HELLO there is much more to life right? haha perhaps i am eating sour grapes, i dunno. but like what twin says, ppl who need a bf/gf are selfish, which to a certain extent i think its true. no offence yeah.

anw, gtget outta here. blessed wkend babes.

hi. im back! with a bang. carnival on satty was a-okay. it could have been much better if fatty was around. but nvm, cos the best friend is coming back today! wheee. thats the only thing keeping me happy.boy do i miss her! sweet girl always sneaking calls every night w/o fail when her dad is in the shower. just like what twinnie said in the mail, >> in sg when we cld talk to each other at ease, we simply take advantage and perhaps reluctant to raise a topic or talk much. but i figured just nw, when we know we hav such short time, we shoot. fr this i know we do treasure each other<< man. so true.

back to carnival, reached at 12, left at 3.. dominated by whole of eng congre, feel like an aboriginal there, wakaka! bought smthg for bestie, a bag for myself, dont even know why i buy it, and mei gt a bag too. all at the bazaar. thank God managed to borrow a cam fr shazzie so can snap piccas for the bestie to see! reached there and saw HAY getting dunked.. there were the game stalls, food stalls, a mini e-zone rented playarea with a tunnel slide and lotsa colorful balls. smwhat like playarea at ikea, and also this airblown thing where kids get to jump and tumble around in. then little thaddeus gt glitter tattoos on, he was elated! didnt want to leave his chair, wanted another one done on his hand. haha CUTE. walked ard with gracie, then mag.. mama's stall was selling donuts. was selling like hot cakes. ppl buy them by the boxes! but i thot it wasnt anythg compared to krispy kreme. haha. fad i presume.

still on the lookout for jobs. today i sent 3. hopefully i get the ducktours one. seems pretty interesting. but quite disheartening nt to hear fr any so far. ugh.