was thinking what color to paint my new rm when i shift.. saw these and i thought they look really nice! loved pics 3,4,5 7 from top down, esp the 7th one.. 2 diff shades of turquoise! woohoo niceee~!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

really cranky these few days. am so effing pissed with so many ppl. and the green eye monster is eating into me. damnit. my period shd be here any moment.

chinatowning with joshua on tues. but the rain spoilt it all. anyway, jus walked ard n had dinner. realised how much i wanted the bag! combed so many places for it. ahhhhh. i shall get it, by hook or by crook. hehs. anyway, that ass's grad gpa is like 3.5 or smthg. hell.

anyway, i am really pissed with ppl who initiate a convo, but went off w/o even saying bye, or simply letting the convo hang in mid air. it seriously pissed the shit out of me. dont fucking come and talk to me and go off jus like that.

there are tons of smart ppl ard me i jus realised. all got accepted into nus. i am so happy for them, at the same time cant help feeling green. if only i had realised the importance of it and did smthg to salvage the situation when i was in yr1. its all too late now. sigh. why do we always have regrets. and i dont even know where the future path will lead to. how sickening. am like a wandering spirit, nt knowing where i shd set foot. its really getting into me today. fuck it.

my msn kaki said i have to blog abt out outing on fri. so here it goes.

was a cosmopolitan grp this time! june pearlie beehar and me! haha like a reunion! nevertheless, had a great time of catching up with the babes. cont to shopping with june aft pea n bee left! got same earrings! haaa we got similar tastes in certain things HAHA. anyway mad girl la kept exclaiming every now and then. CRAZY. hope we'll meet up soon! hehs.

saturday had prac as usual, then went out with turbs. have been looking forward to saturday, so many things to tell her! we caught the hills have eyes. all gore n violence. eeks! i always have 'good recommendations' according to her! always loved my bestie's company! wonder what i'll be w/o her. its amazing how close we get tho we can be quite different in many ways. but she's been really encouraging, esp with all the trauma that ive to face. and she was telling me so what if she stays in a big house and all, but theres no warmth in it, and that she returns home but yet can have nobody to talk to, cos everyone's in their own rooms and doing their own things. sigh. she's trying to make me feel much better and to appreciate the fact that my folks treasures what i think and feel abt the issue, yet at her own expense. haiis. guess the grass is always greener at the other side. nevertheless, am jus gonna keep her n family in prayers. cos i knw how hard she've tried, but nt to much avail.

took the bus back tog ytd, and smthg dreadful happened to her! she alighted at hwachong, and when she was crossing the bridge, she felt smone bumping into her. and so she apologised. it was actually a SICK INDIAN ASSHOLE. he went infront of her and pulled down his zip to show her his fucking cock. kept asking her to look cos its big. oh my goodness. that must have traumatised the poor girl so much! she was so angry with that chao nehneh, but yet kept composed and shouted at him to go away. this is so worrying! men. then only think with their fucking cocks. but im so thankful that that was all he did. couldnt imagine if he pulled her into the bushes and did other more horrendous things. ugh. the thought of it is scary enough. haiis. poor girl, couldnt even get a good night's rest cos the images of that bloody chaonehneh kept flashing in her mind. stupid CNN fucker. hope the girl's ok already. sigh. what a way to end the night.

was talking to her on the phone at the lobby, then waited when theres no one before i went into the lift, then 2 angmohs jus got bk. pengs. haha and they asked no bf to send u back? haha and said i can choose btw the 2 of them. sweat. anyway, they were so sweet - "goodnight my dear, sleep tight." they had me there. haha.

 

ok. the moment of truth is out. stupid damn results.

see the C+ over there? thanks to my niceee hpm tutor who gave us really accurate tips so that we can score really well for our papers. really helped us so much. am so grateful.

the rest.. sigh.. was hoping for an A. too far-fetched i guess. cem i expected smthg better. dot n ib's ok. hcomm n wisp aint that impt. atm B im ok. satisfied except for hpm. damned.bullcraps. logged into npal at 9 and thot that my gpa for this sem's 2.7319. was so disappointed. then i jus checked again at 12 and it was actually 3.0417! happieeee. hahaa so easily satisfied. turned out 2.7319's the graduating gpa. hell with it. thats so much more impt but i did so badly. really regret nt doing well during the first 3 sems of sch! its all too late i guess. and stupid uni need 3.5 to get in. only 2.7319 and i hope to get into a uni? FAT HOPE. bleah.

kbox with the 2 woman.. hahaaaa. feels like we didnt sing alot but was damn tired.. meet up again SOON!

ps. eve if u are reading this, dont be too demoralised by the results ok. cos anyway, we graduated! (:

nvm. at least im happy for the gpa for this sem. thats hw i console myself. i need to talk to stepsis soon! missing her lots!

ok so they spilled the news over mac breakie on monday. nt like i was ready for it. that was the last thing which i expected them to tell me. strange thing is i didnt feel much. jus wondering what it will be like, and more importantly where we'll be located nxt.

so e first person i told was turbs, cos only she knows what ive been thru. and she so totally understand and im so thankful for that. smtimes u do nt require ppl to tell u what to do, but simply being there in tears or laughters will suffice. the aches may be setting in, >> but having known the fact that smone is there for u, i guess everything is not that bad, because if anything goes wrong, theres always that someone to rely on. "It doesn't take much to be someone's hero. Just do what you always do". I realised the truth of the sentence. Just accompany one, and give the person the strength and courage to walk on, and you are a hero to the person, like what turbs did. <<

time to put down my pride. and tell myself it cant be peaches and cream all the time. perhaps its time i learn to grow up, put myself in their shoes, and think like an adult, whether i like it or not. it sure aint gonna be easy for me as well as for them, but as long as God is in the picture, im pretty sure all will be fine. smhw, after hearing what the interior and all were like, im starting to get a little excited.

monday was tanning with fish but to no avail cos of the gloomy weather! aft tt went btp to play pool with vincent ruth n nick. haaa been ages since i last did that!

tues... was bored stiff, and was asking God to ask smone to ask me out and kaikit smsed.. went to watch yours mine and ours, haha cuteeee show.. hehheh.. then walk ard, did sm retail therapy! it really work wonders i gathered! time to reward myself for the "trauma" on monday. haha.. and i told my mama abt the bkk trip.. and shes gonna foot half of the bill cos of the trauma they instilled on me! wahaha.. threatening rocks! am so excited bout the trip now. wheee~!

kakis, kbox n dimsum buffet soon pls!

bibliography
http://www.xthost.info/sharontan/poohmemories.html

whoa. it was an intensive & critical camp. a little too hot for me to handle. sighs. mayb he shdnt be so direct since he is not in the ministry, and he cannot jus assess us like this. but anyway, he hit the spot la. attacked on our weak points and all. but then i was thinking jus what changes will there be after this camp. then came the evaluation, kena shot a few times! super sianded. was damn pissed. plus they were really focusing on the wrong stuff. all the nitty gritty shits such as having musicians wear BLACK PANTS and BLACK COVERED SHOES. wth. and whether to get a wardrobe. put here or there. i mean come on its DUH can! alamak. sigh. at times i jus dunno what these ppl were thinking.

and then all the drama begin. cold war. haaa. had both of us in tears. decided to kiss n make up and the channel was a pantyliner plastered on the door when i came out from the loo. cuteee. HAHA. then the even last episode of the drama. was so awkward! madness. dunno why the sudden mood swing also. sigh. and they are gonna get married soon? liek wth. im sorry but i seriously doubt they can live happily ever after. lets pray that God will lead them to the correct path and all..

overall.. nice humongous place, smwhat like a british colonial house! niceeeeeeeeee! hehs. and the toilets are damn clean n new. hehs. toilets are the most impt to me! haaa. ok these are all besides the pt. anyway, quite enriching, learnt quite alot. hope to bring the lessons back and apply it to my daily life.

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dot just told me over msn that there was once she had a heated argument with eunice. and eunice blurted out that she's not her sister and that im more like her sister instead. *gasps* dumbfounded can. sigh. never wanted things to end up that way. i shall make an effort to be chummy to eu. but i dont wanna appear fake. damn. and smtimes i feel that suat is also being left out. im a real bitch.always upsetting ppl ard me. haii.

on the other note. i really need to get a job. barista at starbucks sounds fun, but hate to go for intvs. sians. damnit. need $$$ for camp, for bangkok trip! ugh. anyone with job lobangs pls lemme noeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. danke.

i guess boredom really kills. so here comes another one of my cynical entry? i dont know. perhaps not.

anyway was blogsurfing.. then saw shazzie's blog, on hw she was thanking Ruth for being in the rain with her last saturday.. then mayb thot i can like drop smtg for dot too.

anyway, an extraction fr shazzie's blog..so here it goes.

Next thing, I must thank ruth for being in the rain with me. I don't know what I will feel without you there. Everywhere was quiet except the two of us rushing. We were in the rain, we can't breathe and see clearly, yet I saw how you cared. Thank you! The rain drops were like hails beating down on your skin, aching every single drop, but with you there, I guess everything is just not that bad, because I know that if anything goes wrong, there's always one to rely on. Thank you for volunteering to go with me. Really glad to have you as a friend. I feel like using Cynthia's line. "It doesn't take much to be someone's hero. Just do what you always do". I realised the truth of the sentence. Just accompany one, and give the person the strength and courage to walk on, and you are a hero to the person, like what ruth did. Thank you! =)

sweet one. and it just dawned on me that dot did the same. it started raining heavily and she went off ta help the rest move our bags into the shelter, but asking me before hand if i'll be fine. she then went off, but told me to wait for her at the exact same spot, cos she'll come pick me up. i must say it seemed like a hell long wait. imagine dripping wet at the hawker centre, lonely, not knowing when she will come bk. a wait of despair i would say, being out there in the cold. but she did in the end, and i was delighted to see her. imagine being stuck there all alone. the rest all together in the shelter. so glad she came bk for me. its the small things in life that makes me learn how to appreciate em more. what would i be w/o her. i really dont know. tho most of the times i'd wonder if we'll be as close if celine is still ard. then again. nvm. cos i live for the moment.

a quick peek into the happenings...

satty was with the elijahs n joshuas... we went kayaking at ecp! haaa.. dumb yujun n anthony kept wanting to capsize our kayak.. but in the end, had a race back, and they were superrr slow. haaa. damn funny.. anyway cute boys. smhw the reshuffle might do us gd. and im so glad that dot have started to take a fancy on them.. the issue nw is prolly being a assis cell leader, a role model and all. but i sure hope she can gel with them.. i believe all are different. in fact, everyone is special in his or her way, and i really do treasure all the unique identities in us. i realise im beginning to love the elijahs n joshuas more now.. its indescribable. heartwarming i would say. like a big family. diff age grp but stil like 1 big fam. moving over into a new cell will sure bring by many changes. but smhw im looking for it. sigh. dont know if its good or bad. its so confusing. i jus dunno what to expect.

anyway seems like its gonna be a busy year ahead with the endless happenings. mayb i shd start to withdraw fr them all and disappear. sigh.

the weather didnt do us justice. cos jus as we were riding for less than 15 mins it started pouring. and i almost fell. a serious one. but thank God no. sigh. still got the phobia of riding a bicycle. wth. i swear that bike wasnt cooperating at all. damn.

sunddy was watching dorm, and it was the least bit scary. yawns. i think ive grown out of horror.. need some thriller to keep the suspense cmg.

worship camp is less than 4 days away. and i am anticipating it but at the same time ... ... cos ah mei casually asked me to bunk with her. ugh. i am so torn. cos if i do so, dot will bunk with who? haii. and if i bunk with dot, mei will bunk with who? sigh. sian. why am i so well liked by so many ppl? haaaaaaaaaaaaa. *slaps. this is indeed a dilemna. a dumb one in fact. y shd i even bother man. mayb they shd bunk with each other and i shall sleep with pastor phoebe or smthg. HAHA. dont wanna think abt it. meanwhile, will cont packing my room.. and i better start to buy straits times. sighhh.

rather fruitful week thus far.. cant believe i enjoyed every minute of cleaning my room, wiping the cupboards, rearranging the furnitures, stickin the postcards on the wall, putting all my lovelies into display. endless fun i would say. so happy. ive waited damn long for this.

have been tanning yesterday and today, jus want to get a nice tan and look healthy! hehs. got myself a pair of shoes, and 2 music scores from yamaha. waste of money on the score bks. am already regretting it. aint even jazzy songs. i shd go esplanade lib n be a member and borrow all their score bks.

other than that... im having a great time rotting at home,watching tv.. feels so good to wake up at any time u like, not having to do anythg. shiok man. but of cos, the funds are gonna run dry soon, how to go bkk like that. sigh! need to get my butt cracking, earn a living aft music camp nxt wk. sigh i hate it. but what can be done. damn.

past weekend had been awesome!

felt a tiny twinge of guilt on fri, cos kept shunning from all the responsibilities, and kept delegating. but oh well, there is a reason them all, for i dont want to appear to be superficial, doing things not from the bottom of my heart. i jus hate it all.

icekimo with nick aud ruth vin anthony n pongs after prayer mtg. took the van down, haaaa i lurrvee taking the van.nick sent us back to pong's and we drove to prata cafe at nie.. had our dinner til abt 2am then went bk. and our girls talk till 5.30 in the morning. two consecutive nights of being up til 5.30 is really crazy. anyway, i loveeee pongs house. so big and nice. jus that i thot if i were her, i will prolly deco the attic much more to make it like my little heaven! anyway, the girl nv fail to shock me with her endless information on mutilation. is like gross. cutting and eating each other's privates. PUI*

sat was watching mrs henderson presents and shopping shopping and more shopping. went to the career fair and it was so disappointing la. haiis. shop and shop but i got nothing, and that pongs got so many things. mango,gg5,mphosis,pazzion. pengs. had carls for dinner. and they didnt have onion rings. wth. they dont have it at 9pm cos the stall for it had already closed. wthhhh! and they dont have that salsa chilli sauce.! ahhhhhhhhhh. so nice to a person who havent got anything on the shopping trip. damnn.

sunday... had the fellowship with the rest.. the talk on harry potter, and the da vinci code was, well boring i would say. i caught nick and amanda dozing off haahhaha. wth! then it was nanny mcphee! soooo nice and heartwarming and cute! grins. mad jacks for dinner yums and then we went to island creamery! it has been a FAT weekend, piling up on all the ice cream and fast food. HAHA. anyway, it was a good weekend. nv felt so happy for a longggg timee. shiok! and theres more cmg, ecp on sat, music min camp! cant wait! wheee~!

APPARENTLY, grace's gg for music min camp too. oh wells. i sure feel weird. haha. in fact, i am ego abt it. cos i think she will wanna bunk with me. or rather i assume she assumes that i wil bunk with her. but then, she will sure make a hooha saying oh u gonna bunk with yr twinnie blah right. which gets on my nerves. to hell with it. anyway, pongs is my first priority, haha the rest are secondary! and eunice might be gg too.might as well. last reunion to thrash things out before we go our separate ways.

so much rubbish to think when one have so much free time.

talking to turbs on msn will result to not being asleep at 4.15 am. think i will hit the sheest at 5am. madness. ahaha. but at least i can dump out my rants.

haha nah. its 5.30. and im gg off soon.

ok. time to party and make merry. i jus realised ive reached the point of my life whereby i have no idea whatsoever what to do next. and its kinda frustrating and nerve-wrecking. sigh. guess i will just take a step at a time.

i must say all my papers went relatively well, by the grace of God. jus hope for an A perhaps. but it seemed a little far-fetched. but i sure do not hope to get any Cs. in fact, i have absolute faith that i wont get any C. HAHA! anyway, am delighted that i dont have to study for now! haha.. all that seating in the dining table are numbing my ass! and i finally realized how comfortable it is to be able to sit on my pretty sofa and watch nice tv shows, WITHOUT having to carry notes and memorise shit. *bliss.

off to IMM with sj n eve, then took xiaolan to town to catch final destination 3, which ithought was nice! hahaaa.. didnt know i will like it. lurveee it tho it scared the shit outta me nevertheless. and then back home to pack my clothes and all.. tidy up the stuff. clearing away all my notes.

and she's back tonight to pack her things, and off she goes back to her country! and the whole room will be mine, and i can decorate it the way i like, and invite my frens for a sleepover!! got my 60bucks pay today, like aft 2 whole mths? like wth. frigging long. but at least its here.

it will be hendersoning with turbs tmr and i shall go bunk there. haaaa. and then theres the prayer mtg. which is like ............ sigh sigh SIGH.

anyway sj did this ppt thingy for me and eve. like so sweet can, and i was a little paiseh, cos i got nothing for them. but meanwhile, i shall think of smthg and get it done for them. hehs.

goodbye my friends. and till we meet again.