today mark my last day at cnc! mixed feelings. bittersweet i would say. and best of all we'll be released at 3pm! cos theres nt much to do. woohoo. shiok! and ive got a new friend, phyllis! wen's fren.. haaa take over me.. too bad i wont be wking with her cos i gtta be outta here! anyways, all the best babes, both wj n phy! haaa may u gals have a fruitful and fulfilling stay here and may 2007 be filled of caramels of sunshine n happiness for u! hugs & misses.

on the other note, christmas came and gone, all in a flash! much like lightning. u either catch it or u dont. christmas was nt too bad i guess. gt all busy with the perf n carolling.. nt too bad. but guess it doesnt really feel like xmas this yr. kinda like dead. but anyway, am glad there aint anymore chionging to get pressies, cos it sure sucks when u are rushing. all have come to an end. and smhw i'm glad christmas is just once a year. thanks to all for the pressies, for i simply believe its a season of giving...!

gonna take a hiatus fr work and pack my room, spent sm time by myself and hopefully catch up with loved ones and do sm meaningful stuff. like perhaps volunteering at sm orphanage (no empty talk) i hope.

grace's hse is like nice can! i lurveee it. tho there are sm parts which i dont exactly know hw to appreciate. haaa. cant wait for her to move it so that turbs and i can have slumberthon theree. wheee. til then'blessed 2007! (:

super groggy today. sians.

and everyone is getting on my nerves. hibernated at home for 2 days, wishing i could continue the hiatus. its like wednesday blues. bleah. and i see stupid ppl around me! fancy having me to tell u what to do aft sucha long time. sucks eh. wish u could open yr eyes and nt be oblivious to happenings ard u. sickening. pui.

and i havent finished my christmas shopping. that is definitely a headache. boo. need to go down to mustafa soon. thot i had better get smthg small for ppl at cnc.

and i gt 2 pressies already! 1 fr charlize and the other fr jovis, kia's top salesman. wahaha. hope it doesnt stop coming. haha. greedy pig. didnt have proper lunch. im hungry. grrrr. hungry woman is a angry woman. and its freaking cold in here. but at least it hasnt rain yet. hope it goes like this tmr. else our efforts will all go down the drain.

hope i'll recover by tmr. but quite unlikely. boo. i need moolah. i want moolah.

have been out doing all the christmas shopping every other night, but nt to much avail. perhaps im picky, or simply nthing is gd enough to catch my fancy. ohwells.

cant help but have weird mixed feelings abt friends ard me. aft what ive heard. but of cos theres only 1 side of the story, but fr my own judgement, i can conclude n very much believe what ive heard. ive jus seen the ugly side of u. yet again. sigh. u snap, u bite, and u morph into a queen bitch. wtf.

and... my period is finally here! ive been waiting forever for it to come. hehs. no more crankiness for the nxt 2 wks or so i hope. lol.

church contacts in msn all gone! all went for camp. and inside me there's this wish, wishing i was there with them right now. smhw feel a lil sad tt we're unable to join em. afterall, we were there every other year. ohwells. i'll learn to get over it and perhaps grow up too.

shopping time!!

time for a quick peek...

its fri. and as usual i cannot get any happier. but of cos theres this tinge in me wishing that such wouldnt have happened at all. i mean its like fark can. hw can 1 be so selfish. sigh. shd i know, i wouldnt have rope u in. oh wells. too late for regrets. and i guess whatever ive learnt in HR have finally been put to gd use. the pros and cons.. enlightened finally!

fucking period nt here yet. and its definitely driving me insane. just wanna shout at everyone to fuck off!!! big pieces of shit all around. damn. gonna be a long n crazy day tmr with all the stupid cooking etc at the carnival. while the other 2 shits get to do nothing. effing gross.

2 weeks more to christmas. nt even sure now if i shd look forward to it. and theres prac in church tonight. tiring tiring tiring. boo.* if only all of u would give me a break and cut me some slack.

popeye's last nite! am a happy kid now. wahaha.. and my sweets gt me cheese muffin!! warmed up smore. uber sweet. and daddy drove me to work this morn! so nice of him! i totally appreciate it. hehs.

monday flash past in a whiz! and nw im suffering from tues blues. LOL. then again, no la. just stoning away again. and whats with all the stupid ppl jumping off tracks? guess the most 'IN' way to commit suicide is to jump into railway tracks. hw dumb can that be. imagine dying in such a ugly manner, with all yr brain bits flying everywhere..!! and the worse thing is u are wasting other ppl's time n money! time cos they have to wait so long for the train to start operation! and time equates to money! dumbdumb. wanna die, rem to think abt the kind of disruption u wil cause to them first ya? stupid.

these few mornings have been super chilly! *tsk.. n cant wear the black wool since my bestie used it to kiap her armpit. hw nice. so imagine all the overpowering BO!!! omgosh. gonna be a busy morning i presume!! boo. nvm. at least time past faster that way.

chaaaaaaa~!

ok. its clear that the weekend have yet to be eradicated fr my mind. practically lost as i sit in front of the pc this morning. just dont want to do anythg! boo*

bumped into lizzie the other nite, felt so gd to see old faces again, after like half a yr or so. and there she told me abt her blog add.. seems like shes living life on the edge, all the partying! but smhw theres a tinge of melancholic feel in all of her post. infact its quite saddening la, felt as tho she doesnt have much of a clue whats happening in her life, and that everythg is like a whirlwind ard her. ohwells, nt that i know what i want to get out of life, but anyway, im glad we're mtg up real soon. its time for an update. from both of them. for they were inevitable in my life during poly days. thats why i chose to hold on despite times of weariness or simply when i cannot be bothered.

hate all the scandals in church!! yikes. making my goosebumps surface time n again. eeky. what everybody's doing jus make me cringe. and i really dislike it. mayb. mayb its time for a change. mayb i wil be doing better in sm other church? i dont know. am nt really growing in sjc anyway. then again, its my own fault la, no one to blame. sigh.

fashion nowadays is getting ridiculous. all the plunging necklines.. omg.. everywhr i see on pictorials all models revealing more and more cleavage. why is sexiness always defined with skimpicity? (my own creation, haha) dont really get it.. but sure the world has fallen, and is getting from bad to worse each day. and i can only sigh and pray that i dont fall into the trap of it. so many desires, temptations each day. guess it takes a strong will to turn from it all.

its monday. and i sure dont like it.

its FRRRRRRRRRIDAYYYYYYYYY!!! can i get any happier? nahnah. hahaaa..

have been a train of events thus far, out almost every other day, and my nest is smwhat turning into a hotel! only spent like 7 hrs there for slumber, and use the loo. HAHA. didnt even get any chance to pack my room, or talk to my mama! boo*

dinner with j, dessert with turbs, schweeet, came to pick me up fr town! haaaa. know i can always depend on her. the supper escapades, and shopping! the bday celebs!

so its rest time tmr, since ive gt no music prac! woohoo! gonna catch up on my sleep, tidy up my sty, do my christmas list.. wheee...! but am broke. if only i'd get my paycheque soon.bleah.

and i wanna get madrid bronze before they upp the price! need to hunt for ppl to buy birks again.boo.

and dec is gonna be so exciting cos its CHRISTMAS soon! wheeee~! and im gonna go straighten my hairrrrr!

singapore discovery centre was a tad boring.boo. so much for anticipating the simulator ride. and the iwerks movie was super sianing.bleah.

anyway whatever P said that night was bothering me. why is it that if i dont have a boyfriend, and im really close to a girlfren, and that equates that we're lesbians? wtf. am so pissed. AND in the first place, from where did u get the conclusion that we're even close?? i didnt even fking talk to u since like dinosaurs were still ard? sigh. u're making me disgusted can. pui. dont u dare cast a judgement on me when u aint even PERFECT.

it was gd to see charm n moon! lunch tog with turbs n the 2 girls.. and boy did they gang up to make fun of me!! bleah. haaa..jus laugh my head off. then choir prac was eeks la. o'holy nite is driving us up the wall. and seeing the disgusting ppl's face jus make me wanna puke all over them. just hate ppl who try to hard to be different. and hate those who try so hard just to hope others will notice them and like them. to hell with it.

what a post filled with vengeance and hatred. LOL.

and worstill the stupid job!! asking me to make the decision, and prolly backstabbing in the back? hell. cant wait to get outta here already. want to have a break!! want to go shop for christmas pressies. boo.

anw, eventful wkend to boot. caught happy feet. courtesy of nick.. anw, nought much, perhaps more of a musical.haaaa. back to work. yawns.

its tuesday. boo. had a hard time getting up from bed. hate early mornings. unless its for fun. otherwise, we shd start the day from noon. bleah.

and xxx have nt get what i taught her into her head yet! its the 3rd day already, and she still doesnt know the ropes well.. ugh. sure hope she wil pick up speed. else she will be eliminated!! then again, i took a rather long time to get things gg. so there, i oughta be more patient. God gimme strength pls!

guess nt heading sim for the time being. til i can sort out my thoughts and get a clearer picture of where i shd head. at least i can slowly sit thru and think. and i thank God for understanding parents who nv fail to support me. tho when my mama ask me to think abt my future, she prolly implied that i shd do smthg that makes money, and nt what i like. i dunno. anw, its nice to know that there are those who care. appreciate it. (:

im boredddddd. cant wait to get outta here.

twin whipped up a nt-too-bad dinner for her family on fri cos of her mamas bday! so schweet. hehs. and im invited too! quite a cosy affair la, having dinna with the ones u loved. tho as usual i felt extra. hehs. cant help it la!

cruise ard town area on saturday with twin behind the wheel. gt the supplies fr art fren to paint mei's mirror. gt basil green pretty pretty! but gt the car scratched cos of bloody chaonehnehs. super zonked out aft the waiting btw each coats n all the varnishing. boo. left the putting up of flowers on the mirror. wonder when we'll have the time to get it done! hmmm.

the to study/nt to study issue is tormenting me like theres nt tmr. sigh. and the deadline to reply sim is like tmr, else i gotta wait for like another 1/2 a year. but guess im nt gonna rush into it, since a whopping 20k is involve. ugh. dont want to be bothered abt it until aft christmas. i want a carefree christmas!!! haa.

town ytd alone in the early noon cos of the stupid bastard. if he werent there, i would have had a gd lunch with my pops. screw u idiot. so i went shopping alone in orchard but lucky dajia came to my rescue! else i'd have died of boredom. but she took solong to come. sobs. but at least she came!! hehs. love her to bits. but i just made her upset again with my stupid words emitting fr my smelly mouth. boo.

its so bored it here. another 3 hours to kill before home sweet home. sians.

ive crossed the limits this time. period. nv intended things to end up this way. keep emitting hurtful words fr my mouth, so sharp they cut. sigh. time and again i hurt the ones i love. i break promises which i have initiated. i lose the trust that others have in me. regardless of how many times i say sorry, i know there will always be this crack deep down. give me another chance, and i swear i would hv never said such stuff..

but smtimes i wish u would let the good rule over the bad, and look at the gd sides instead. but of cos i dont do good jus so that when i do bad, all will be covered up. NO. no strings attached at all. perhaps u shd be given time to think thru bout this frenship, whether if it shd be kept. for i am uncertain of whr we shd go fr nw. im a bad fren to keep. sigh. oh wells. hope all will turn out well and God make me a better person. im disgusted by my own actions. eeks.

anyway, it was a pretty much difficult night for me before. woke up before my alarm rang this morning. super early for work. which is gd in a way. its gg to be a busy day since both are nt ard to help me. shall wallow in self pity and perhaps die in C&C.

for once, i am NOT suffering from monday blues! cos perhaps the wkend was gd enuff. hehs.

girls nite out with gracie and dottie on fri. had dinna tog and jus laughed at silly things. tho it felt strangely weird at certain times. oh wells. im glad at least we all made the effort to come together and cast all our differences aside. im glad.

slumber at twins place on fri, went to get the awfully banana choc cake in the morn for mama's bday celeb.then invited twin n mei over for steak, cos dad's cooking! and i was glad they enjoyed the simple fare. haaaa! think my mama was quite happy la, so many ppl celeb for her. tho it was kinda funny that i invited my frens over, as if it was my bday. haa but nvm la, the girls were a bunch of lovelies anyway! acc turbs to work aft tt, and boy was mango hilarious! nice fren to keep la, since he's almost as sampat as a girl, or prolly even more sampat than turbs n myself.

sunday.. had choir prac and it was a disaster!!! didnt even know what the hell they were singing, had so much difficulty. but thank God for the cd, at least i can practice to it now. afterwards had tea with old peeps and finally the question arise -" where should we finally go?" HAHA. sigh. nt much cell choices to begin with anyway. its either to joshua, to the adult zone, or stay rooted in elijah. nt as if the other sound good. ugh. dunno la.

anyway, its 647, and im stil in the office, nt knowing where to head. well done! haaaa. til then, laters~!

feeling super lousy ytd, cos of the stupid laselle shit. sigh. hate it when i dunno where to head, where blurred visions of what i want to do arise time n again. so... i took half day off to do some retail therapy. and a hell lot of retail therapy. total damage was bout 200 inclusive on the stuff i got on tues! but im happy. super happy. gt my kiss n tell bra from women's secret, green velvety bag from assesorize, tank from mango, nalgene bottle, 3/4s jeans, tank top, and belt from dorothy perkins! woohoo. and then gt the photo album e other day, plus the mini earrings chest plus my secret stash too!! am over the moon. but just wondering how im gonna tide thru the whole of this mth with christmas round the corner. madness!! gotta scrimp and save, cos the bacon i bring home is really peanuts.

just gt acceptance letter fr sim, wondering if its the place i shd head. really appreciate all the comments fr loved ones. thankful to all for enlightening me. i feel encouraged and loved. esp to the one who called and ask so many qns regarding the grant on my behalf. simply taking initiative for i didnt even ask her to do so. oh wells. im super touched la.

anyway, was shopping alone, cos was so depress i had to do sm retail therapy. and thank God i bumped into fish n mag, and they acc me! or rather, i acc them. hahaha.. makes me feel like im nt left alone in the world. God is good. so thankful for all the little things. jus like the new temp girl felicia too. at least i have smone to work with nw, nt in the little world where i have to do everythg alone. hehs.

feeling good now. and best of all, its FRIDAY tmr! *woots

i am suffering from monday blues. i need to see a depression doctor. or a shrink. every wk it'll take its toil on me.

spent wkend at turbs house. again. acc twin to work on sat, and to our shock and disbelief, mei was there. HAHA. and she seems to be acting a little weird. perhaps feeling green that i was there with twin, even on fri. hehs. oops. but nvm, im lurving it. anw, she jus let me see the vast diff btw bestie and her. incomparable that is. and im so glad i chose the right one. one who was there all the time irregardless of what happened. thank God for that. oh well. nt to say that she's horrid and all. of cos she's nice at times, but just nt enough, and nt the way it shd be when dealing with me.
dinner in town then drove bk home to get clothes for church, then bk to babe's house. and the journey was horrifying!!! sobs. i gt a bad shock. i probably cause it myself, but anw, all's well and im thankful for that. think im pmsing. jus hope that i'll get a grip of myself and stop being all mean and nasty to others. i feel lousy. but yet when i do it, emotions run dry. i need to die and disappear la.

caught oh in ohio ytd, quite a spastic show, orgasmic comedy! wakaka.. walk ard ps, had our dinner before heading back home.

i think i have the silliest fren in the whole world. all the retarded antics cmg fr her are gonna keep me gg for the rest of the wk. and running together aft being 'followed' by the bangladesh was fk funny.love it.love dajia.

am down with gastric flu plus running a fever, but am so much better now. guess can go back to work tmr! has been 2 gd days of resting at home, and replenishing my sleep. simply weary cos of mon n tues.. and the frantic rush at work was driving us bonkers.

turbs gt temp job at mei's office.. smhw feel that ive gotten her into the shit.oops. cos usually i wouldnt have replied in such a manner. how weird. sigh. hopefully these 10 days will flash past.

just checkd out the laselle site again.. seems a little confusing for me to understand. sigh. really hate it when i dunno what to do nxt. perhaps i wont be happy at rmit, but the future seems more secure and safe. laselle will be fun yes, but what kinda future wil it bring me? and the portfolio plus interview shit is already scaring the shit out of me. sigh. hate making decisions. if only God will show me how..

anw.. i didnt expect a call fr him at all. it was sweet tho. ohwells. you're my number 1 bitch. how nice. thanks ah. hahaaa.

friday!! yippee yippeeeee~! woots.

had popeye's chicken at T1 with twinnie ytd! yummy. but i sure hate the sucky attitude of the staff. eeks. and then we went to the secret hideout again. but didnt catch as much action pack like the previous time. still, we had a good laugh, nt cos of them but cos of our silly antics. wahahaa.. those ppl are sure scandalous! hehheh. so funs.

anw. its so busy in here. am jus glad and thankful that fri is here to welcome me with open arms.

today is thursday. riggght. which means tmr is friday!!! how happy. and theres hari raya nxt tues! no work! woohoo. if only.. if only i could take leave on monday, then i'll die happy. but its impossible. bleah.

asked for time to sort out my thoughts, and at the same time try to figure out where i shd stand.

discispleship was sigh. that bastard is really driving me up the wall. and i hate the bitch and her bf's laughter. fucking disgusting i tell u. really hate her. eeks. ok i know i wil go back and repent tonight. anyway, twin drove me back home yester and her car died while we were at the carpark! scary. but with out wits we managed to open the front up. apparently battery was low or smthg. luckily she was able to start the car and get gg all the way till she reached home. henggahlaosai!

the conspiracy is gettng more and more intense. ugh. scary can! sigh. and smhow im involved in it. hate politics! eeks. cant everybody jus like everybody else. but i sure hope all will be fine. asked me out umpteenth times but each time i turn it down cos i got other engagements. hmmm. then again. u aint the one.

saw a pair of really nice birks on footshopping that i like. but problem is its black again. but i sure love it! iwant it!!!

ok i typed out a super long post, but my fucking knee had to hit the shut down button. fuck fuck fuck.

sigh. it has been ages since i last sob so hard. i almost didnt believe myself. and to think it was over such trivial matters. but i really havent feel so pain and hurt for a long time. silly thoughts i know. just wish that i will get over it. guess its times like this that i learn to grow to be tougher. nothing is reciprocal. and i can finally comprehend how it is better to be loved than to love. hee. sadder but much smarter! wheee.

almost went berserk earlier on. was simply containing all the hurt and pain in my heart, and there was this tiny voice telling me to jus burst out in tears. hahaha silly can! but i held back. but almost couldnt take it on the bus back. had to alight and hail a cab home. remained composed, didnt want to scare the uncle, so jus silent tears. then back home and i bawled my eyes out, weeping buckets. 2 times! hee. keep triggering me off. sigh. but it sure feels gd to let loose yr emotions. i know its silly to harbour such bad thoughts. 1 word, childish. really need to grow out of it. im so hopelsss. mayb like what he said i shd jus jump down and leave him some possessions. eeeeeeddddeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrtttttttttttttt.

eeks. i feel bloody ashame of myself. but i cant help it either. hais. wonder when all these shit will ever come to an end. but i guess ive learnt to conceal my emotions really well. am proud of myself. hee. i realise its a matter of how i choose to conceal it. and i guess i displayed it well! it aint easy i tell u. nv easy. smtimes i wish life would give me a break. im only 20. and theres so much shit i have to go thru. perhaps its time my life be taken away from me. and if im lucky enough, God will fetch me up to heaven.

nt too bad a wkend. jek came over for slumberthon on sat, and me to her place on sun. breakthru cos i went for dinner at banana leaf with her famileeee. am so proud of myself cos actually i was bloody scared la. but it turned out to be great! it was crazy to see all the nehnehs pacing the streets, gathering in grps, as tho waiting for performance. scary! we were like the minorities can. anyway, had authentic indian cuisine, the the amount of rice they pile on our banana leaves were horrendous! i think its enough to feed a whole herd of pigs. kid u nt!

this morn as i was taking bus to work, suddenly thought abt my registration for biz mgmt at SIM. i had second thoughts about it. wth. sigh. this is so sad. and im looking into LASALLE nw. ahhhh. madness. communication design sounds damn cool n gd can! and these are the careers i can look into >> Advertising Designer, Art Director, Copywriter, Creative Designer, Design Educator, Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Layout Artist, Packaging Designer, Photographer, Production Artist for print/radio/TV, Typographer and Web Designer.a and if i choose advertising design, it will be >> Creative Designers, Art Directors, Copywriters, Production or Freelance Artists for print, TV and radio, our graduates focus on establishing themselves as creative communicators capable of formulating carefully planned strategies and concepts expressed in traditional and new media.

i want all those listed above! they seem so much more appetizing than business management-marketing isnt it? sigh. im so screwed la. really need to figure out my life soon. i havent got too much time left.

woke up feeling lost. wished i could sleep more. envious of ah jek who wil prolly wake up in the late morn. sigh. sitting at my desk now stoning. eyes are hurting, tired from all. and am sneezing n wheezing away. ugh. i dont want the bug bugging me. sickening.

discipleship was a-okay last night. thankfully nt as disastrous as when we first started out. guess he already knew our pattern. sigh. just hope it gets better, and that stupid ppl will stop spouting nonsense. keep their mouth shut, and all will be on cloud9.

i gotta wear pink on sunday so that joshua might wanna be friends with me. haahahaha damn hilarious. and jek gotta wear black so that she might be classified as suemay's fren instead. like how cute is that.

i wanna like go home and zzz now.

eventful night earlier. well, i must say there's a lot more i need to do. smtimes im totally clueless abt my own identity. ive lost it. and i disappoint ppl ard me. perhaps theres so much more expected of me. sigh. im really confused, perplexed and all. life is a paradox isnt it. but i wonder why such harshness have to be thrown at me time n again. hurt, yes i am. i wont deny it. but i'll def try to make it a better one. cos i cherish and treasure it so much. hold it so close to my heart. no way am i gonna let any other jeopardise it. but smhow im really afraid of losing it all. sobs.

daily scoop last nite. followed by ecp carpark with jek to check out all the couples who were hanky pankying in the cars. super scandalous n farnie laa. laugh til drop. then had supps at geylang. no hookers peeping this time. journey back home was ...

slept at 2, woke at 7, super shagged nw. if only i can go home nw and lie in the comfort of my bed. zzz... skipped lunch, hoping to catch a wink, but guess nt much time. ugh. busy peasy. bleah.

To begin with, weekend was awesome! Absolutely awesome. And I really thank God for that. Seems like I always enjoy my weekends. Hehs

Satty…

Music practice was as usual, ahem. With the screw ups and getting all flustered cos unable to play well. Sigh. Hated it. Simply wish I could play super well and not have to bother with the fill-ins or complicated chords. That aside, TSK was having a potluck over at Karina’s house. All couples except for twinnie and me, felt EXTRA as usual la. Perhaps they shd take us out from the membership. HAHA. So we ended up being babysitters! Thaddeus is like damn cute n chubby, 10mths old but his face seems on par with his maid’s already. Kakakka. And Joshua is uber cute too. We brought jap curry, sushi fillings and shitake… thanks to yati for her help, else we wouldn’t have make it.

Sunddy…

So called youth leaders mtg with the rest early in the morning at 9. eeks. Had to like share and update abt out lives and all, and prayer needs, thanksgivings etc. and as USUAL, my heart will start to beat twice as fast when its gonna be my turn to share. Just cannot comprehend why I cannot be myself and share freely. Perhaps im really afraid of how others will judge me. Anw, they always have such politically correct answers that im so sick of em. And most of the time, they CONTRADICT themselves. Bleah. Ok fine, nobody’s perfect I know, but why cant everyone be like me?! Then all will be peaches and cream! Wahahaaa..

Went out with my ah jek to town to meet mama n frens. Its nice to see old faces again aft like 7 yrs or so. Even though we spent less than 10 mins tog, its already enough. Then got down to Queensway to get my miss lala specs for sch! Gonna keep my fingers crossed that I’ve never lose it! Cos the previous 2 have all gone missings. Sobsobs. In the night went to celeb sue’s bday. Surprise again, jus like last year, this time with an additional member – ah jek!

Anyway.. its good to see Joshua opening up to us, willing to play and talk with us. Seems pretty much a quiet boy who always stick to his mama, but not so much now. Hehs. and I love chip+sue’s house! So nice and cozy. And I like them as a family. Simple n nice people, not pretentious or anythg. N when sue told us that they had her bday lunch at a hawker centre, I came to realize that we don’t have to spend lots of money to feel happy, to feel loved, because its always the people around us that make things special. (:

Spent 200 bucks since fri. ugh. Heartpain. Got the dkny be delicious perfume. Wheee. Ah jek gt the miniature. Which is like damn cute. I want too. Got my lala specs done. And got a jacket on fri. wheee. Retail therapy rocks! But time to start saving up already. Back to work means back to scrimping and saving.

i gt lotsa zits emerging from my face. isnt that sad. hais. gonna get busy as of nxt wk. anyway, wenjun brought me cocolatte! awww. how sweet. hehhehs. i would prefer bird's nest tho, nt coffee from a free dispenser in the pantry. cheapskate. hahahaaa kidding.

bought durian n peach strudel fr renald's for the Soos ytd. am glad they like it. thot i had better bring smthg since i always dine at their place! haaa. i know. im sweet n thoughtful. i know i know i know. but i ended up eating more than they did. so much more. but i likeee.

anyway, i live by my own standards. and nobody can ever change that.

i wanna eat popeyes chicken!!! like now. grrrr.

and my pops are cmg back tonight, like finally! then again, these 5 days passed by so fast! i miss em! and im jus glad that they wil be back tonight. pray for journey mercies*

after hibernating in slumberland for sucha long time, it sure suck to be back at work.

3 full days of living with twinnie. i knew it was never gonna be easy. problems arise when we're too close. and smtimes i choose to let the differences btw us embed my heart n mind, and i end up feeling so wretched. lots of tolerance. tolerance for nonsense, occasional cold wars, silly squabbles. but of cos there were happy times too. all the laughing that shook the house down, the silly dancing antics, the girl talk till the break of dawn, the feasting, or even saying grace tog. that i really like. hehs. am just gonna try my best to speak my mind!. anw, the 3 days were filled with many adventures! taking the citybuzz bus to the esplanade, driving to mustafa, dimsum buffet, movie, grocery shopping for TSK. splendid time spent. guess i need to learn to cast our differences aside, and instead to apprec the other even more, for it aint easy to be such close frens isnt it. i mean like just how many come and stay in yr life for sucha long time and promise to stick ard. nt much i guess. thats y im thankful for babe! w/o her, i'll prolly be roaming the streets nw. ups n downs, she have been there, and i believe always will.

and ... TSK is driving us bonkers. so much for everyone cooking and bringing smthg nice so that we all can enjoy n fellowship tog. like reeeeeel. gimme a break n cut me some slack pls.

mei's wedding wasnt a too happy affair for all of us. guess we were all stressed out by the perf, and i was so damn bogged down by the damn dress. hais. but glad that mei stil enjoyed it, despite it being a disaster! but anyway, sad to say, didnt really enjoy it. everythg seemed so tensed. there was this uncomfortable n deafening silence. ... guessed the church wedding was def better! hehheh.

wish i was zzzing at 15 watten drive nw with twin instead even tho i have to face the wide open mouth with drool hanging down by the sides, and the weird noises. i dont mind trading my work for that. haaaaaaaaa. til then~!

cant get to sleep, so thot mayb i can jus let in a bit of nonsense here and perhaps fall into deep slumber soon after.

perhaps we all have dreams afterall. wanting to do things that gives us a feeling of lavished exuberance. but of cos along comes inhibitions. so often that these dreams start to fade away, leaving behind traces of broken hopes. smtimes i wish for things that seem seemingly impossible to fetch.

i need to once again be reminded that all are made in different manners, and learn to care less abt things that will make me unhappy.

sigh. guess they call it pms. smtimes, i wish i hadnt know so much, and most importantly, think so much. oh wells, ranting off the wall again.

...

have been staying put at twinnie's place for the week. pops have gone out of town, leaving me to die in singapore alone. haaahaaa. feel so bad cos she might have to miss gatherings cos of me. yet again.sigh. i prove to be trouble. eeks.

after days of insane frenzy, its finally over. phew. and i can take a breather! then again, gonna get busy over the wkend cuz of grace's wedding. hehheh.can wear nice nice n trigger happy. wheee~! and im gonna take leave nxt wk! hiak hiak. havent told boss cos shes nt ard. gonna depend on wenjun. hehhehs then can sleep like theres no tmr, go swim, go to the zoo, go sgp discovery, so sentosa! woots.

so much has happened over the past few days. what can i say. guess theres alot to learn in life. so much so much more. i guess with time, n God in the picture, all will turn out fine!

gonna extend stay at cnc i guess. the way she phrase it. oh wells.. i need retail therapy. boo. and i need another pair of birks! and more shoes n clothes! and more bags and watches and many more.

spent the weekend at twinnie's place. went to get the mirror, lights and string for making mei's pressie, from ikea to imm to mustafa to spotlight. so much effort involved. just wondering if she will ever appreciate it. but then again, who cares. as long as it is given out, i wont really give a damn anymore.

was practicing the song at suats place yester. and it is pretty much driving me up the wall. i was convulsing much to the pain of the stupid tummy, and yet had to brainstorm ideas for the wedding. ugh. so much trouble. sigh. jus hope that all will turn out to be fine la. and as i look at the cellies, they being my seniors but yet i keep snapping at them, i cant help but feel bad. its like ive been so dominating and all, nt giving them the due respect. oops. hope they forgive me. wahaaa.

and i dunno why the hell i keep doing silly things when im in slumber. and sampat have to always catch me in action. ugh. its so bloody embarrassing. omgosh. dun even know why the hell i do it. how can i be so zonked out?! arghhh. wonder what she'll think im doing. then again, to hell with it la! hais. cant help it also.

forbidden city on sat with yet another cosmopolitan group. wahaha.. everytime such thing happen, i feel kinda weird but happy la. smtimes its gd to mix ard with the others i guess. so theres mag shazzie geof dorthy n me. tho its my 2nd time, i must say i had a much clearer view this time, thanks to the binoculars! wahaha.. addition of some scenes, hehheh.. anyway its nice la!

lunch on sunday was farnie. cos was in such a hurry to say grace before our meals. we had to like chiong before the other 2 came back. wahaahhahaa..like so scared of getting exposed! know that ive said that a thousand times, but im so glad each time we say our prayers tog! wheee.

and im so thankful for the sisters for they took 61 back with me ytd. so bloody touched i wanna cry. wahaha. hated gg home alone, ESP WHEN ITS ON A SUNDAY NIGHT. I HATE SUNDAY NIGHTS! bleah. anw, we yak n yak n bump into mr cocky and as usual, missydot screamed, scaring the wits outta the poor sister and myself. nt by the cock, but by the daft scream fr dot. she has been driving poor eu n poor me up the wall. arghh.

mei's wedding's coming up. and ive got no clothes to wear. woots*

today is an angry. farking angry day. stupid brother hogging the phone forever. damn irritating. i hate him. pui. and other contributing factors. argh. pffftt.angry angry. on fire. BLEAH.

im a person without principles. is that sad or what. told myself that i will never ever perm my hair. NEVER. over my dead body. but i just succumbed to the persistent persuasions that sprouted fr my aunty's mouth. ugh. i am so screwed. and now ive got a big hair. cant say whether i like it or not, but for sure its a change! wanted to color my hair at first, but she said it was flat, so might as well. think the nxt time i do smthg drastic to my hair, it will prolly be shaving it bald. wahaha.

sigh. and people are adding on to my agony when they are suppose to be contributing to Singapore's economy. pissing the shit out of me. hate the fact that u came all the way up to look for me and ask if i wanted a ride home. hate it when u call me jia2. who the hell are u to call me jia2? even my mama doesnt to that. shame on u. pui.

other than that, all's pretty well.. twinnie gt a lil smthg for me when she went to jb the other day. 3 boxes of green tea pantiliners tied up nicely with a purple ribbon. wakakaka laugh til ROF. anyway, it was sweet that she remembered i was searching high and low for it, so ultimately, it doesnt matter if ive already gotten it. but its the sweet thoughtful gestures that matters!

was gg to send in my application for sim, but decided to holdback and think twice if thats what i wanna do. dont wanna waste 2 yrs and so much money on smthg i dont like. but then again, there aint much choices for me to choose from either. sigh. life really is a paradox aint it.

till then, laters~!

.: two's company, three's a crowd :.

its a slow monday to begin with. the skies are grey, winter is here early.

weekend, always so treasured for its time to make merry and catch up with loved ones aft a week of business. over at plaza sing to catch host on fri night. had dinner at pastamania and there was a blackout. boo. so much for romance. haa. so we had to eat with the hp lights on. and the movie wasnt too bad. at least i didnt fall asleep. the riotous character humor as the dysfunctional family infiltrating the forbidden zone strikes a balance with the horrid ugly monster. but still, the authorities are the greatest monsters of all! wahaha.

sat was music prac and then nat lib in search for performances ideas for graces wed. but to no avail! boo. then we were so bored we tuned in to power 98, and there it was, we heard the spoof for ji ki sio ho suah >> little umbrella. and sooo... we decide to sing that! hehhehs.. guess its all gonna be corny and all. but i seriously dunno how to get it gg la. smone got to talk and all, but its jus not me! had dinna aft n twin came over for slumberthon. we slept and woke up at 2am to bathe. haha kukus pigs.

sun.. went for lunch and had then went to choose pics with the sisters' family. happy for them. 1 big happy family who will go take pics cos of twin's grad. isnt it nice n all? hmmm. but then.. before n aft the atmosphere was kinda tense. just cannot be myself when the sister is there. it feels weird. like all's struggling to keep it gg. super draining. two's company, three's a crowd. i cannot agree more with it. sigh. its driving me up the wall. she and her forever "ANYTHING". fuck la. ok fine i do that at times too but not like everytime! wth... and it looks like she doesnt enjoy our company and all. i mean cmon if thats the case, why nt u just go home right. instead of pulling a bloody long face and sounding all pekchek n cranky n all. kns. ok dunno why im so worked up also. might be other contributing factors. it doesnt explain it all does it. and i highlight contributing factors. such as barbed people. wahahahaaa.. but stil twin has been good as always. i guess we can only have 1 best friend.yups, thats what i gathered and concluded. sparks jus doesnt fly when the chemistry's nt there. we cant really expect miracles yeah. so there, im thankful enough that ive got twin with me all these while, and of cos it'll cont til we meet in heaven.

anyway, got lotsa crap at song n song the past wk. shirts skirt shorts biks. boo. n belt fr dorothy perks! its a matter of time when i become broke. haaahaaa. gotta curb my spending before i become a pauper again. the chilly weather has gotten a hold on me too. freezing my ass off everyday. ugh. eeks.

p.s. snow-white: tell me when u free to come my place, u're welcome at all times! hehs.

wheee! its thursday! 1 more day to the weekend! woohoo.

ok. grace is mad at me! oh no. sigh. she is sooo sooo soooooooooooo disappointed that we aint gonna put up any performance for her. said that she have always perf at others' wedding, but yet on her own wedding, no one is willing to do so. so sad can! hais. think we had better do smthg nice so as nt to disappoint her any further. but the issue is, WHAT ARE WE GONNA PERF? it aint easy when we have so little manpower. ugh. and most importantly, IM SHY!!! kakaka. sigh. so there. dont know how also. worstill, its only a mere 2 wks to her wedding. ugh.

gave my pops 100buckeroos. nt alot, but jus a little gesture of mine. was hoping my mama would say no la its ok, u take it back but then she took it! ugh. haha my heartpain. smmore must tithe. hahaha alamak broke already. and i stop taking pocket money as of today. ugh. guess gotta pay for own transport too. double ugh. no more left of me. sobs.

caught the devil wears prada ytd. ok fine this is a spoof! a clever one. the shows nt too bad, except tt i doze off a little towards the end. guess am a tad tired tho. anw, i like anne hathaway! and i want to watch movies! provided i have replenish my sleep first. hehs.

had royce chocolate potato chips ytd! super yummy. then on monday we had banana choc cake from gastronomia or smthg. the super branded michael angelo shop. so nice. hee. and today we painted our nails in the office. haaa. beginning to enjoy wking at cnc.

its discipleship again tonight! so fast. ugh. sobs* how fast.

all my tangled hair are all out too! so happy. got them out 1by1 over tv last night. pull out a damn whole lot of my own hair.sobs* and footshopping replied me! but damn, the birks i want is completely sold out. bohoho..

but gd news is, i got my paycheck!!! woots* have been waiting forever. time to go shopping and pamper myself!

i've got all my dreadlocks out! boohoo. kind of sad but yet happy at the same time. finally a load off my hair, super light nw, and smhw im glad about it. trying to get used to my old hair. happy thing is ive already received 4 compliments on hw i look nw! hee. exhilarated can. woots* spent 2 days at home trying to get the dumb locks out. and i had to skip church cos of the terrible state which my hair was in. funny la. d of cos thanks to twinnie who took time off to take out the hair for me. another selfless side i see. (:

really had a gd rest at home during the past weekend. really like having time for myself, simply packing up the room, or watching tv. feels shiok. but of cos too much of it makes me gag too. now i wanna go watch movies! wanna go shopping to. cheque shd come in today. it had better! aft such an embarrassing moment on friday.

slept at 3am last night,woke at 7am, but yet i dont feel tired at all. how strange. gg out tonight with the idiot. thot i told myself that i aint gg out with him anymore cos of the previous stupid issue. oh wells. we'll see how.

.: cortry :.

told monstwin that my colleagues were commenting that my eyebags were popping out the other day. then ytd night twin brought out her cortry when we gg creaming. and so slapped my forehead, thinking she was gonna use it in the car during her free time. but turn out it was for me! hehs. ugly eyebags but sweet twinnie! so touched can.

so we went creaming at daily scoop with rose, send her home then went bk to my house. and twinnie put cortry for me on the eyes. thot it was a little stinging, but went ahead with it. turns out 20 mins aft she took it out, my upper cheek was flushed. like i put blusher on it. damn funny, and sampat twinnie was super scared that smthg worse might happen. so she quickly prayed, super funny. ROFL. but thankfully it subsided aft abt 30mins or so, and finally she can breathe. hahahaha.. silly gal. i wasnt even the least worried but she was like getting all jittery. haaa.

anyway, ITS FRIDAY!!! T.G.I.F. woots*

wheee! today makes post no.4! sigh. not that i really love bloggin or what alright. just so happen that i got nothin better to do. bad news. my birks are no longer on the list. they took it off! so saddening. i love it so so much! hais. nvm. can save that amt of money and perhaps put it to better use. plus, i havent even get my pay yet. ugh. even more saddening.

discipleship was alright. thot we were all struggling, trying to endure n all, tho i dunno when i wil ever give up, cos the fact is ive already given up. the disability to answer qns is driving me up the wall. making my heart race all the time. i just aint cut out for it. cant give brilliant answers, always keeping quiet. nt criterias for the class.

after that went for supper with my bestie. had desserts at ah chew, and thick peanut butter toast with condensed milk. wahaha damn shiok n sinful can. anw, my bestie's sampat la. fancy bring out a whole big bottle of sally hansen nail remover and whole pack of cotton wool to remove her nail polish. where? AT THE BUS STOP WHILE WAITING FOR THE BUS AND IN THE BUS. !!! wth. only sampat ppl like her would do such a thing. slaps forehead* to top it off, she brought her j&j lotion out to. to apply when shes free. sampat. machiam she busy til no time to breath. SIAO!!! haha. strange monster twin.

am waiting for friday to come!!! then can have a gd rest over the weekend. am so zonked out. felt like they suck the life outta me. haaa but then again its cos im having lotsa fun in the nite. serves me right. and 2 already commented on my dark eye rings. sobs. isit that obvious? ugh. time for sm soothing eye therapy.

its so bored n cold in here! brrrrr.

haha ok yes, ive been blogging consecutively for the past 2 days and today makes post no. 3!

wonder why i always get green when kecai gets cheque and i dont. humph. life is unfair. think ive made this pt a million times. sucky. it always happen. when im down, kecai's up, and when kecai's up, im down. hahaa. guessed God plan it this way so that we can be there for one another at all times. guess im jus a silly girl la. fancy getting jealous and all of my bestie. so ashame of myself. ugh. but im glad we cleared the air, and good things always come out of it. so glad n thankful for a fren whom i can just rant everything n anything to. jus pray that i dont take her for granted and jeopardise the frenship in anyway.

oh yeah, and im glad we now say prayers tog before meals! i dont even recall us doing it for a looooong looooong time, and im over the moon abt that. silly it may seem but thats how i feel! i want a frenship based on our r/s with God. thats what i want! so im thankful abt all our prayers tog. and simply praying out loud during prayer mtg and during cell grp. all those make my heart smiles. hee.

caught click ytd with bestie. nt too bad a show. and thank God i didnt dozed off. haaa had prata at thomsom before home sweet home. hit the sheets at 2 and now im totally zonked out. ugh.

and i WANTTT TO BUY BIRKS!!! fuck. the pair which i want is no longer in the website. i am so sad i wanna cry. boo*

ok. the cupboard have been given a new lease of life. decided that i shd give them a chance. and they look great now. problem is, the color doesnt match my room color. haahaa wth. nvm. guess it doesnt matter that much nw. mayb shd repaint my rm again. HAHA. and then i wil be slaughtered by my dad.

the ability to go home at 6 really feels gd. simply rotting infront of the tv! and i did my discipleship wk til i fell asleep. lengthy bible chapters to read. ugh. old testament is really driving me up the wall. the numerous stories, never-ending reading to do. then i woke up an hr later to continue. hehs.

and today wil be off at 6 too, if nothing goes wrong! seems pretty free now, having ample time simply starin into space. daydreaming is shiok if u ask me. hopefully tmr'll wil be the same. then wil have time for dinna with twinnie!

only thing now is im waiting for the damn cheque! ugh. then i can go shopping!! wheee. i wanna buy birks, and i cant find ppl who wants to buy too. sobsobs. stupid problem that is i know. and i want to go travelling too! anywhr wil do..! need to get specs done, need to go take pics. so many things to do! bor eng. and i wanna take out my hair soon. then go for haircut. its all over the place now, and the lustrous bunch have wilted and only a few strands are left standing. sobs. hahahaa.

til then...

i typed/saved as draft/deleted. and here's a completely new post. thot the other one was like random. nt that this wil make much diff.

anyway, disgusting ppl are still ard me. cant seem to brush them off. need to find a sol. haa ok fine am bring cynical again. but i dont care. *poof.irritants!

sigh. how can i ever forget the powers of the internet? damn. stupid me. and of all post, it has gotta be that. ugh. gonna die of emb.

snow city last sunday was fun, tho there was jus 1 pathetic ride. guess its the company as always! but damn those who werent there. who promised to go tog but didnt make it in the end. whatever reason/excuse u give, to hell with it. haaaa.

and my mama jus nagged at me ytd. hate it when they nagged. arghhh.

i need retail therapy. LIKE NOW. *GRRRR.

wed 23rd aug...

sigh. what a night! if only i had pay more attention to the needs of others around me. i swear it was freaking scary. didnt expect things to turn out this way. this is what happens when we take smone for granted. esp smone we love so dearly. made the call and then the crying began again. didnt know what to say in times like this. if i knew it was so terrible, i would have scolded the bitch upfront. wth. so not encouraging. has she forgotten that we are brothers and sisters in Christ? isnt the class all about learning together? so why the fuck did the bitch say that the things she shared are fei4 hua4? fuck u! fuck u for being such an asshole. for causing unnecessary hurt and upsetting my loved one so much. pui.*

jus wondering why things always turn out to be so ugly all the time, in the midst of so looking forward to see one another, and jus one issue, and everythg turn sour. fuck that man.

that aside. realised that yisanba has been trying to be funny with me. and smhow, i wish what she said was true! i would have been over the moon. but the sister will always be a barrier. haha. it appears to me that ysb kept trying to like prompt me to speak. from my observation, it has been around 3 wks since that happen. all the evidence seems to point at one direction, haaa. but perhaps it was never intended for, and jus wishful thinking on my own part.

armragte.

hmmm. poor girl. new staff and got tekan, being throwed so much work. sigh. feel so sad for her. jus hope that she wil pull thru and prove all of em wrong. no idea why certain ppl can be so nasty.. jus mere 4 days and they expect her to know everythg? impossible what! even if u want smone to learn, thats nt the way to do it what...! sigh. feel so so sorry for her. poor thing! she even came bk to office on sat to wk can! arghh.

aunty susan.

saw her on fri and i realise i miss her! miss her booming voice, and miss her passionate heart for bringing more to God, even tho she sort of got into my nerves during the rally on fri. shdnt have gone. smhow i jus cannot comprehend all the slaining and speaking in tongues thingy. its super scary for me! and there was this girl who got the monkey spirit in her. sounded kinda farnie but its horrifying too! she was shriekign and screaming, saying "bu yao" and the elders and pastor kept praying for her, driving the devil out. was damn scary scene. *creepy.

other than that, havent been getting enough rest. ot almost every other day and its driving me bonkers. i wanna go home at 6!!! sobs. got my zara in red n white stripes. dunno why they have to give dumb comments that i honestly dont need time and again. sigh. thnk i need to change my wardrobe. need to get tudungs, and long sleeves and long pants. all covered up. whee!

its disciple class again tongiht. hope i dont screw up. and i want less ot and more dinner time with my lovelies! i want to shop too. if only my salary wil come in like now. sigh. need to wait at least a gd old 2 wks. ugh. hair's jutting out, 1 word, ugly. sobs. but i wanna keep it leh! sigh. wanna go sentosa too, and swimming and tanning! but ive got no time. boo*

time for an update.

its back to cnc again. ok right the other time i said the signs are clear that i shd leave. but anw, im back there, and wj with me this time. anyway, waking up at 7 sucks big time. eeks. and squeezing with ppl on the bus is eeky too. not much work to be done, since its the mere beginning of the month. goodie. can slack. haaaa.

twinnie came over to stay on tues.. but had to rush home ytd half way cos her daddy's cut his finger. 1/3 of it came off. freaking scary. so had surgery last night. hope all's well and that everybody at home is ok too.

over at marina to catch a glimpse of the fireworks on tues. quite pretty, but it was dumb that we spent time queing at ljs, wasting our chances to catch the whole 12 mins. perhaps shd go down again on sat. hehheh. twinnie might be gg dubai at the end of yr. i wanna go too. but i dont have the moolah leh. if only i can save all my pay, then i'll follow her. but im scared. freaking scared that ltr when we're thr, they'll wanna do stupid stuff.. like clubbing/marijuanaing, smoke pot. then i wil faint. since her fren's pretty notorious. haaa. oops.

other than that, ive attempted packing my clothes into the cupboard. but suck it la, cupboards freaking ugly, and one side of the door seems to be falling out pretty soon. hope it happens soon, so that i can get a new one. perhaps i shd keep banging it, n then it wil fall out.

chaaa~!

been putting up at twinnie's place for 1 wk already. everyone's really nice, except that i stil get the jitters when we have dinner tog. hais. cant help feeling super shy n paiseh. haaaa. have been slacking all day long, watching satc, and sleeping most of the time. feel like a paralyzed nw. oops.

getting used to the hair nw, doesnt seem as heavy or irritating nw. but i dropped 1 strand of the dreadlocks on friday! ugh. yati picked it up for me and tied a knot. smwhat look like a pretzel. wahaha. think will take it off pretty soon. but other than that, im loving my hair! have received pretty cool comments abt it. hahaaa. quite fun actually, smthg diff i guess!

am lacking of ice cubes. cos twinnie forbid me to eat them. but 1 or 2 occasionally. feel like im a drug addict. only diff is im an ice addict. sigh. thinking of them simply makes me drool. anyway... its discipleship class tmr. so fast. and ive yet to done the work. ugh... hope we can drive out later to have ice cream or smthg. im pretty bored cooped up at home all day long. makes me super lazy.

jus realised i havent enrol for sim jan intake. hope i'll get it done soon. chaaaaa~!

am back from bkk. like ive said a million times, TIME FLIES WHEN U R HAVING FUN. boo* how sad. but travelling is sure fun with the right company. tho i admit ive been pretty much a bitch, being cranky, demanding, selfish and cold at times. hope she wont be frighten horrid by me. hee.

anyway, back at twinnie's house since everythings is a really huge mess over at 171. almost couldnt believe my eyes when she drove me there earlier on. yikes. guess wil be putting up at twinnie's for the nxt few days.

super sian. felt as if im bk from holi, and that nobody wants me anymore. wth. back to a place where its so messy. toilet's nt done up. furnitures unwrapped. boxes unpacked. dont even feel like gg bk there til its all done up for me. eeks. sad too. jus wanna get it over and done with. if only we didnt have to move. feel like a nomad now la.

anyway... bangkok has been prettty awesome. loved the fact that all things are dirt cheap, and we are like living the lifestyle of the rich n famous there, giving tips and all. wahaha. didnt do much shopping tho, seriously if u asked me, things there can all be found in sgp, so nothing much for grabs. its more of the company and the window shopping that i enjoy. simply appreciating the fact for different ways of life. amaze me a whole lot.

we covered almost the whole part of bkk, went to chatuchak, pratunam, baiyoke sky, suanlom, siam centre, siam paragon, siam discovery centre, mahboonkrong, khaosan. all markets, cept for a few shopping centres. chatuchaks like super hot la, making me pek chek jus by walking. took the ferries wheel over at suanlom. loveeee it. so nice. oops. and we watched the thai girls show too. finally know what all the hype is abt. anyway, its jus girls using their vaginal muscles to perform stunts. the things they do are quite shocking. openign a coke bottle, playing pingpong, pulling out long strips of blades, bells, flowers, shooting balloons using the arrows on their vagina, etc etc, all with the use of their vaginas. scary but am taken aback at the same time. and they ended it by having sex. wth. that sure freaked me out cos we were sitting right on the first row. eeks. but anyway, its all jus for the exposure.

everywhere we go, we took the taxi, except the first day where we took the tuktuk. that was absolutely fun, like we are in a really huge toy car. haaaa. hate the noise+air pollution tho. took their train too and its so short. alamak. one thing that scares me silly are the beggars on the street. omg. one was maimed in one leg, and he was sitting on the floor and moving using his butt n legs. was a scary sight. the other fella was also maim in one leg, he was lying flat right on the floor, with a container in one of his hands. scary. sigh. and saddening too.

food was gd, had phadtai almost every other day, had jap bbq, calamari, black olive rice, and lots of fruit shakes. loved the lychee shake. had dunkin donuts and a&w too. slurps. and 2 times of popeye's chicken, during our departure and arrival. hee.

guess the most significant thing we did there to remind us the remnants of bkk has got to be my DREADLOCKS and twinnie's BRAIDING. hahaha. but the itch is driving us bonkers. and its so heavy that we cant really sleep with it on. contemplating to remove it tho its a mere 1 day. haaa but nt so soon cos i spent a bloody S$60 on it. anyway, mine can last foreveer for twinnies one only for 2 mths. got a hunch shes gonna get it out really soon. haaaa. anyway, still liking my dreadlocks tho its making me feel really uncomfortable at the same time.

overall, it has been a gd trip. relly enjoyed myself. have nv been anywhr, so am really glad abt this trip, and i must say it was pretty much satisfying. thanks to my babe who have been so accomodating and doing such a gd job of taking care of me. am so glad shes the one whom i went there with. wanna go out of SEA now. i wish...

woke up early this morn, follow the pops to get the toilet stuff, plus lights for the house! and i chose a white one which looks like birdnest! lurrveeee it. starting to see the bright side of moving house already, thanks to twinnie's analysis n encouragemt. she have been a real darling, helping me pack my stuff, cheering me in times of need, and also painting of my room. appreciate it so much. wonder what i'll do w/o her.

anyway, we are off to bkk tmr night! finally its here. hehs. but wil be gone in a flash too.

fyi, my new add... blk 171 bukit batok west ave 8 #04-359 s650171

other than that, life has been pretty much fun ever since i stopped work. love having all the time in my hands. but am so broke nw. changed 400bucks for bkk trip. broke broke broke. wil need another job soon. think im prolly gg sim jan's intake. hope i'll rem to register for it, plus collect my dip cert! ugh. suddenly life seems void. so many things gg on. cant really get hold of it all.

til then, ciao!

slumberthon at my place for the past few nites, twinnie came over. and we watched sex n the city. hahaaa damn hilarious n daft too! but i fell asleep quite a few times during the wee hours. have been sleepign at like 6in the morn. madness! zits are all popping out now. ugh. suntannign was fun too! and all the piggingg out, and durians in the middle of the night in geylang. all except when i got scolded til i cried. sobs.

my babes are gone to aussie. am gonna miss them tons! til we meet again in dec yeah. (:

its 1 more week to bangkok! so excited can! *giggles

shifting in a wks time. too bad i wont be ard. gotta start packing already. hope the loo's nice. i want a new n spanking clean one.

p.s thks june for the lovely pressies from jap!! heres to more cabbing nxt time! hee

ok.the signs are even clearer nw. 3 more days to byebye cnc! hehs. finally can take a break aft like 2 mths of slogging my ass off. no more papercuts too!

twinnie was so sweet to have thot of lunching with me at anchorpt ytd. poor gal had to go see the osteopath alone. now the trotter's wrapped up again and she is grounded at home. ugh.

it has been shopping and more shopping nowadays. and ive finally found the joy of shopping alone aft 20 yrs. really enjoy having that time for yrself, walking ard and jus enjoying the pretty sights. and i jus counted, i blew 900buckeroos of my salary on shoppg, treats, n the bkk trip. ahhhhh. madness. and theres the jap buffet on thurs, eve's bday, farewell gift for the girls. madness redefined!

sudden whirl of excitemt when i thot of gg bk to sch in sim. hmmm.

after much procrastination. sin-bkk, finnair. amazing thailand here we come! lol. 21st to 25 jul! cool yeah. jus dorothy soo n me since the rest cant make it. and my mamas mad. cos i booked the tics n paid w/o her agreeing to it. sigh. obviously i understand that its bcos shes worried and all. but c'mon i havent been to anywhr in my whole 20 yrs. wish she wil understand me too. sigh.

so we went chinatown to get it all booked. flying finnair! hw funs. cant wait already. but to be frank, im also a lil scared. imagine 2 girls al alone in foreign land. and thailand aint exactly safe. and i wanna watch thai girls show. yet im scared. haha kukus me.

and i am so damn broke now. only abt 10 bucks left. and theres zara sale. ahhhhhhhhh. how irritating! lets hope the pay come in soon, and the sale will linger on! waka.

im gonna get busy...! gotta meet up with joshua before he goes to NS. gotta meet wenjun before i leave. wanna catch up with june. gotta meet the girls b4 they leave for auzzie. gotta have a thank u party for suat. busy busy!

serene's contract ended today. sigh so sad. no more lunch partner. dont really click with xiuwen. and the new temp staff cmg in are her frens. 2 guys smmore. think i shall be like amy n stay in office n eat. mayb can diet too. hehheh. and bitch with rahimah.

God has been really gd, giving me answers as to whether to stay in cnc or nt. the signs are clear. thank u Lord. beginning to see the dark side of it all. am smhw glad tthat im having my last wk soon. no more ot. no more slogging my ass off, getting paper cuts, sarcarsm fr stupid ppl. but im sure gonna miss rahimah and the trolley auntie. keke and nice ones like phllip. hehs.

gonna go turn in soon. everyday ive been out. turning into panda soon. nights! gd wkend.... (:

twinnie is sucha sweetpea! text me n offered to help my pack my stuff. and so she came n we started packing. then again, theres not much to pack. kakaka. girl talk again til 12 plus n then we head to geylang for our supper! hehheh so fun but kinda scary too. anyway, it was a splendid night! made up for the monday blues, and all the silly squabbles & unhappy times. am looking forward to so much more.

its gonna be a longgg day at wk. hais. and i think they are gonna hire perm staff, which is making me kinda happy. nothin's concrete, but i need a break. contract's ending nxt fri, God pls show me the way! *confused again. ugh.

friday.
had our silly argument again. this time it gt worse. and i thot it was all gonna end there since she wants me to stay away. felt totally awful. can almost die in the bus la. i mean its like wtf u ask me out and yet thats how u treat me? boo*

saturday.
am so glad that things have changed for the better! way better. she was in her normal self. hehs. but i was stil scared n hurt la. dont know when she wil do it again. damn. haaaa.. and we went out. almost miscomm again during lunch. bleah. went down to chinatown to check out stuff for our bkk ttrip! so many laobeibeis there can. tsk.

then caught silent hill and its another stupid show la. then had dinner at ps. n twinnie brot me to tcc for dark devotion. super yummy warm choc cake with choc fudge oozing out! super nice can. but damn exp. 9.90. ugh. anyway ostrich concluded that its cos we've seen too much of each other! getting on each others nerves. everyday for 9 days! madness. but im glad all things are solved la. guess when frens get too close, they tend to take each other for granted.

sunday.
rehearsal for youth sunday. i must say i had pretty much lots of fun.they sure make me laugh lots! lookg forward to the nxt rehearsal where i can laugh my ass off again. haaaa. off to town with the cellies. wonder hw we are gonna go bkk tog when they are all in their own world. wondering if they wil ever have a break thru. else its jus gonna be so so WEIRD. hais. dunno how to deal with it also. bleah.

caught jsut my lack. it was lacklustre la. haaaa. but am glad they found it ok. cos i thot it was borringgg. retail therapy at mango! gt my denim jacket n a top. hehhehs. cheap thrills. HAPPY. but nw ive got no money to go bkk. ugh. wondering if i shd extend my stay at cnc. confused. boooooooo. gonna be a busyyy day! byeeeeeeeeeee

monday
went for pedicure @ earth element at holland v on mondy with twinnie. thats was pretty fun n ticklish! and we were both kinda sampat, and had a really low threshold for pain. ugh. then went to get pressie for amei. sad night la. sigh.

tuesday
Mei's ROM was awesome! it was by the beach at east coast park, what a pretty sight! nice decorations with the garlands, the nice flowers, organza. it was all sooo pretty! so happy for my girl. had sucha nice time taking pics, eating n drinking til the stars came out to play. it was a first time attending a ROM by the beach for me. heeee, definitely a nice one!

aft that went bk to the chalet for missions camp. rot ard the first night since there were no activities. went out for night supper n saw bapoks! wheeee. i likee.. then as usual had girl talk w twinnie til the wee hours of 5 in the morning. then it was the msg by pastor simon then our bbq. and thats abt the end of it. beginning to enjoy playing bridge whahahaa. sigh. im beginning to feel that im like the claustrophobic friend. hais.

this has got to be the best birthday so far! lovely surprise i had that made me wept buckets.

thursday.
great meet up with my girlies, thanks for the pressie, eve, sijie n jesselyn! niceeee, i like. heehee. and lizzie too, for the nice cute karma like bottle with the sticks. i thnk they are like damn useful can. cos i asked the qns whether if i'll have fun ytd and the answer was a YES! heeee. thanks babes! (:

friday.
took half day off from work. mama rang me in the morning and sang e birthday song to me over the phone. so sweet can. had lunch with the pops in the noon, and then went home. took a nap, and was supp to go for pedicure n then to fish n co to watch dot's fren perform, some band at fish n co.

so twinnie came over, and we cut a cake fr my parents. i am really so touched by it, cos we havent been doing such stuff since a long time ago, cos every yr we'll be so bogged down by the hse that we dont have mood for that. then off we go to bukit timah plaza, but couldnt find the shop.

took a cab down town, cos i didnt want her to be late for her fren' perf which was fr 7-730. she was reluctant, but in the end we stil board one aft much persistence fr me. heh then stop at far east n walk all the way to glass hse jus cos we didnt wana pay the erp charges.hhhaaa wth. so we walked for a bloody 40 mins. and when we went there, her fren wasnt singing already. so she called her and went upstairs and look for her.

and there the whole of my cell group were singing the happy birthday song as soon as went up the stairs. omg. i couldnt believe it. it was really a plesant plesant surprise. and as i sat down, i was simply speechless. and as they sang the song i started crying. tears of joy. im just so thankful that God loves me so so much that he had such a wonderful celebration for me. cos everyone's like really busy, and i realy dont expect them to cast their work aside jus to celeb for me. am so so so so touched. will never forget this man.

thanks so much - eunice, dorothy, grace, eugene, nicholas, audrey, xueying, vincent, ruth. thanks for all the lovely gestures that really melted my heart.

i think i cried for a good 10 mins or so. couldnt control it. so malus. tears kept streaming down my face. ugh. puffyeyed!! then i finally stop and started eating.. then aft a while amei came over and talk to me and i cried again. haaaa crybaby. jus too touched la. really thank God for this group of me. and also for loving me who's undeserving n unworthy. im really really touched.

went to giraffe oppo the istana aft that, had drinks over there.. it's a super nice n chic place, a tad like balcony. had long island tea, pina colada, red wine, tequila sunrise, n blue lagoon. hee nice chill out place. aft which they tried to hook me up with the waiter! wth. haaa they asked for his number for me, saying im the bday girl blah, and he was a gd sport, cos he came back with a card and his name n number on it. haaaa so paiseh can. but i jus shrug it off and play along la. and wth they gave him my number too!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. didnt wanna appear petty, so i jus let them do it. and omg he sms me saying he finish wk for that day already, and that he aint free that night but wouldnt mind gg out for a drink today. haaaa CRAP can. i mean its like HELLO, we're jus kidding cant u tell?? lol. funny day la.

and to all who have wished me a happi birthday, i wanna shout out a big thank you for remembering for each sms/ lovely greeting have touched my heart.

Aunty
Jesselyn
Audrey
Nick
Dot
Xueying
Pastor Phoebe
Pearlie
Grace
Esther
Ruth

Ginny
Daddy
Mummy
HuiHui
YanBing
Wenjun
Maggie
Joshua
Jacqueline
Sebastian
Kaikit
Haryanti

am gonna treasure all these gd times. these memories can last me a lifetime man. shall post up pics real soon.

back from camp. had a great time with the lovelies, tho i wouldnt say it was the most fantastic or whatsoever, but sure many trigger happies with twinnie. sermon was nt too bad but place wasnt gd n food was sianing. everyday was more or less the same n many had diarrhoea. ugh. haha.

watched slither on sunday with twinnie. kinda hilarious n gruesome. but smone spoilt my morning la. sigh. dont know why she like to say such stuff to hurt ppl. intention or nt, to hell with it. and i must say i was a little disappointed. dunno why i always like to make a big hooha outta smthg. i gotta learn to take things in my stride, and nt put my focus n attention on nonsensical things.

had dinner at geylang with joshua ytd, and we walked ard for 1hrplus in search for the hookers n trannies! and indeed we feast our eyes! haaa. but seeing em makes me feel quite sad la. sigh.

n my birthday is cmg. ive pin so much hopes on it, as usual. haaa always thinking that its gonna be a special day blah. but i guess i gotta slog my ass of as wk la, sians. anyway, thanks for wanting to celeb my bday with me. i really appreciate it lots but i cant help feeling that its out of obligation. perhaps im wallowing in self pity yet again.

today's graduation! but im nt gg. haaaa. wth.

and i might be studyin at SIM. hell. the sch which i always emphasize is for people who are rich but stupid. ugh. karma. so much for it.

a belated shout out to jess: HAPPIE 20TH BIRTHDAY!

my birks are heree! finally. keke. pretty pretty. i likeee.

thanks twinnie babe for driving me ard, apprec it! went icekimo for ice cream. yummy. horlicks, jasmine n cempedak. slurps.

am gg for church camp tmr til sat. cant wait already! woohoo. finally can unwind and get away fr wk.

mtg my missed ones tonite! like finally. happi happi.

it was a great wkend to begin with! twinnie came over for a slumberthon for a change! watched the nun and it sucks. so pls do nt attempt to watch it. yucks. pui.

sat was the grand opening of tsk. went swimming at karinas place and then the potluck/bbq party. and i had my FIRST BIRTHDAY CAKE! how nice! hehheh. n im the only one whose bday falls in june! hiak. that makes me special special SPECIAL! wahaha...... ok kns i know.

then comes sunday where i had my SECOND BIRTHDAY CAKE!! for me and me only. that was from the mthly youth celeb! heehee.. its MAHJONG choc cake, baked by maggies mama! sweet.

towning with sampat darling. hee. it was a gd weekend spent with worthy people.

thanks for all the sweet thoughts and advanced celebrations. appreciate all of u. infinite kisses, abia.

peak period's over nw, can finally take a breather. phew. and yeah! tgif again!! how fast. (: had a great time during the wkend, even tho for the indiv hiccups. am so ashame of causing so much hurt to ppl i love. i need to change!! so sorry. tho i know u wont be seeing this.

mini pj party celeb for twinnies bday on sunday at church. thanks nick for e wonderful bbq! loved the bacon wrapped bananas. yummy. then celeb with twin again on the actual day, with nick n aud. watched davinci, courtesy of twin, and i fell asleep. oops. so paiseh. hahaa. but thot the show sucks la. no climax whatsoever. and it was the 940 show. was too shagged by wk to pry my peepers open.

anyway, its friday soon!! WHEEE!!! how fast. am loving it!! woohoo..

sat's gonna be the secret kitchen's grand opening. why am i nt looking forward to it? hmmm weird. but im sure lookg forward to camp! which reminds me i havent pay my fee.s

did overtime today! 2 whopping hours.. cos rahimah was busy, and needed my help.. new kia magentis cmg in, so sales have been increasing, plus its the end of mth, and theres a target to hit. so its busy busy for me too.

and praise God, my salary came rolling in! like finally. phew. and i can finally heave a sigh of relief nw! woohoo. just that it appears i cant withdraw it. weird. nvm. and tmr im gonna send in my other payslip! shiok man.. wheee. gonna start saving up, but gt urge to go shopping alone on fri aft wk! zara, here i come! woots.

today mag asked when im staying in c&c till. then i told her 7th july, but part of me wants to extend my stay there. how weird. sigh. dunno la. but think their pay quite miserable also.

and tmr i'll have to ask mag abt all the leave that i wanna take. hais. so scary.! ugh. hope she approve them. if u happen to see this, rem to keep me in yr prayers! hehs.

cant wait for my birkies! woohoooooo. and i cant wait for friday too.

so the week came and past as usual. and CX gt fired. think they shdve told her nicely and gave her another chance. nt like she made a grave mistake. perhaps its the attitude.. hais. scary la. jus hope that it wouldnt happen to me.

am starting to like the ppl there, and enjoy doing even the mundane and repetitive job. only concern nw is that i havent got my pay yet, and am kinda worried they deposit the moolah into the wrong a/c. ugh, hope i'll nt be that suay! other than that, alls well, jus that it has been busier these days, since its towards he end of the mth, and the salesppl have to achieve their target!

had the diocese sports day ytd.. tons of fun despite nt winning anythg at all. but my poor poor twinnie sprained her ankle and had to see a osteopath! nick sent her there straigh aft the match! after which being the usual nice me, i went over to her place to keep her company! watched tv, had our girl talks n dinner in room!! thanks to yati. wahaha.. hope her zhujiao's much better nw! so she didnt come today!! gotta rest the zhujiao, so means less time tog. but gonna anticipate her recovery and we'll go davinci...!

skipped the mtg with rev today. went to crystal jade for lunch with the pops and the rest! good old days are cmg bk i hope! aft that went to arab st with auntie yl, charmaine and mooncher.. the 2 girls were driving me crazy! mayb cos im pmsing, so got really cranky and all. came home, took a nap and watched sgp idol.. and my pri sch mate gt into the 2nd round.. watch out for charmaine..

now the only thing i look forward to is friday. wahaha. how nice. and we're gonna reminisce and have our pajamas party again on sunday to celeb twinnies bday! how funs. hehheh, jus that it will prolly bring me pre-monday blues.

i just realised how attractive one can be. how u can outshine others cos of the quality u possess. jus showed me how worthy u are and how pale in comparison the other was when beside u.

7th - 14th may

 

more or less settled down at work already... scandals were cmg in, and i found it downright hilarious...! i need these kinda gossips to inject cheer into my daily grind! ting n debra left, and amy will be leaving on the 25th, which means serene me n cx to cope by ourselves. i dont like cx. she is like so blur and all, doesnt do her things well. ok fine im nt perfect, but its jus that she's too careless, n i dont like it. hais. and she has been blacklisted by the ppl already. im jus glad that there's serene w me!

it has been a really short wk, thanks to the holi. spent thurs n fri night at twinnies place... went tanning, shopping n attempted to night cycle at 1am last night! that was totally cool n fun! really enjoyed it, less the barkings fr stupid dogs, cars, and the occasional nehnehs who pop out fr no where, causing me to forget my other fears and pedal real fast. wheee. the company has been really good, despite the ups n downs which were inevitable. but still, im wking towards escalating the friendship ladder.

ive havent been on talking terms with him ever since the incident last saturday. but anyway, i dont have much chance to do so since i have to work. feel kinda weird abt it. hais.

i figured out i'll be really broke aft getting my salary. cos
52.5 x 7days = 367.5
367.5 x 0.8 = 294
294 - 150(campfees) = 154
154 - 55birks = 99
99 - 35pedicure = 64

how nice. i'd have 64 bucks to spend. SO MUCHHHH can!!! and i need to save up for our little get-away.

sometimes i wish i can tell you the truth, but it seems so difficult.

hope the pre-monday blues will NOT cm in tomorrow.

time for an update...!

what a weekend! action-packed and gone with a whizzz! was soooo happy when fri was finally here! out with the bestie and the other babes...! hmmm... drama on saturday. i couldnt believe that sort of thing actually happen. i mean yeah i know my shoes are all over the place, and the jigsaw are starting to collect dust, but u could have told me nicely and nt messed them up into pieces, for u have NO F**KING IDEA how long ive spent on it. seriously, im damn disappointed in you. i think i'll nv want to talk to u again. hurt me so much i wept buckets. to hell with it.

its monday. the blues have set in. but soon it will be gone! it wasnt too bad a day to start with cos basically had nthing to do aft lunch.. wahaha. but really hope i didnt screw up the mailing stuff.. those are still giving me butterflies in my stomach. hais!

everybody's been telling me that ive gt a really nicee and pretty phone. hehheh so oriental, i likeeee. (:

looking forward to thursday cos of holi!! and payday too. wheeee.

hey peeps.im back!

ok so its nt that bad afterall, just that mitsubishi, kia and mercs benz are driving me up the wall. am stil confused after 2 days!!

3 girls who are all 19 are wking there as temp too, leaving soon, so they are like supp to show us the ropes.. they are quite nice ppl and they get along really well with the peeps there.. like super chummy and all, makes me feel a little out of place. and in came 2 new girls today, 1 of them are cousins with the temp girl.. hmmm so i gt closer to the other new girl. who seems really decent.. the other one's kinda like ah-lianish.. oops. but yeah..

then there's this auntie fr the cafeteria who'll push a trolley up to our office during breakfast and tea times selling food, which i thought was absolutely cute. i mean how many times have u cm across smthg like that? haha..

and theres the lady boss as usual.. whos really tall, pretty and sexy for her age, tho at first look may look like a tranny! wahaha.. but shes quite hot la.. always get creeps when she calls us, but its always to get the documents. sigh. bad exp makes me like this!

then there's the funny bunch, the weird spinster, the ah lian, yada yada! other than that, its nt too bad. jus hope and pray that i'll get the things right, and nt be so blur! wk's more or less repetitive stuff everyday.. whether more or less to do. so there.. pls cont to keep me in prayers! thanks!!

and i wanna say thanks to all those who've shown their concern regarding my job in a way or so. i appreciate all of u.

eve
jess
june
twin
xueying

and thanks daddy for getting me this! remembered how i cry the other time when she told me she gt a new phone, and yet i gotta like shift house, downgrade blah, lamenting how unfair life was, blah.. and tada! God is so niceeee to give me a new phone.. nothing very grand, but its jus sweet to know that smone cares! (:

.:sunday:.

hung out with my cellies as usual, then one by one left and theres only mee n twinnie. gt my mphosis white birkies! haaaa.. happieee but this time, im really really broke. how sad. anyway yesterday was ... ... ... wondering how many times certain things have to happen. then again, i think im the problematic one! hais. i really oughta change...

.:monday:.

daddy gt sm m1 voucher...asked if i wanted to change hp but i think the choices are quite limited! haha.. and there really isnt one which i really want.. so there.. but im happy cos i was thnking abt it last night, hw im gonna earn money and get 1 for myself and ta-da! he asked.. hee thank u Lord! but perhaps nt changing la..cos i cant find the warranty card. craps!! ahhhh.

Kecai was at macs studying so i went down to look for her! always make me laugh til peng. PUN INTENDED OR NOT, still love her the same!

that aside... im starting work TOMORROW!! and it is freaking me out like mad!! sigh. really afraid of mtg new ppl, being in a new environmt where theres no one whom i know. really getting the jitters!! heebies jeebies. UGH. pls keep me in yr prayers if u happen to see this! hope ive smthg happy to blog abt tmr....! for now, i jus wanna prep myself mentally for it! hahaaa.. till then, auf wiedesehen! (:

girls night out - lizzie's 20th celeb (:

 

june is a jammed-pack month! its gonna be chockful, brimming & bustling with activities!

5th june - June's bday
8th-10th june - Church camp
12th june - Jess's bday
13th june - Graduation ceremony
16th june - My burpday
18th june - Cera's bday
19th june - Donna's bday
20th june - Grace's ROM
24thjune - Ana's bday
____________________________________________________
i just finished a 500pcs puzzle and i realised theres 1 piece missing. doubleewteeeff.

am gonna replenish my sleep before i embark on waking up at like 7am in the morn. ugh.

i signed the contract today!!! ugh. i feel BONDED. )=

• Client: Cycle & Carriage Industries Pte Ltd
• Contract duration: 2nd May til 7th July 2006
• Breach of Contract: You must complete the assignment for the contracted period. Should you wish to resign during the period of contract, you will be liable to pay Recruit Express the remaining unworked days of the contracted period.
  

so scary! i am so damn scared now. please pray for

no1. ability to take leave for retreat + grad ceremony
no2. niceeee people. (no more chaonehnehs pls, im really petrified by the bad exp)
no3. casual dress code to wk! (hate black pants and ugly shirts)

_______________________________________________________

retail therapy really make my day!
- got 2 pairs of shoes, 1 for mama! see im a fillial daughter!
- 2 knickers fr topshop
- 1 top from zara
- ripples flipflops for lizzie

hehheh i heart shopping!

fuck. i just got a job!!!

cycle and carriage.. cust svc for 2mths..8.5-6 mon-fri. looks like theres no way im gonna turn it down already. sigh.

my main concerns:
no1. i cannot go for church camp!
( if that happens im gonna kill my in-charge. )
no2. having to wk on twinnie's bday
no3. having to wk on my bday
no4. unable to attend ahmei's rom
no5. unable to attend graduation
(quite impossible)
no.6 unable to attend the evangelism camp

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I AM SO SCREWED!!! tmd. _|_

i thought it was pretty obvious that i wanted to make it a surprise, therefore nt asking her to put it into the list, but she still did. stupid or what? guess she dont want the surprise idea, cos it would deem unfair to the rest? i dont know..

have been staying home fixing jigsaw these days.. over to btp for a swim with wj ytd. disgusted by the worms and insects, we left the vicinity within 30mins. they really ought to change the water. filter is nv clean!

attempted to do the potato corn bake today. and i guess it was a success, except that it was a tad runny! hehs.. so it means im gonna bring that to the party!! wheee..

told the bestie abt how i felt! didnt want to harbour such evil thoughts cos we are like so close. and im so glad she totally understand. no hard feelings i hope. haaa.. and she said that she's gonna help me with my life puzzle when she's done with her papers! thot that was quite funny.

ive been rotting away for 2 bloody mths already. and i keep turning down job offers. sigh. u call it lazy, apathetic, bum, careless, comatose, dallying, dilatory, drowsy, dull, flagging, heavy-footed, idle, inattentive, indifferent, indolent, inert, lackadaisical, laggard, lagging, languid, languorous, lethargic, lifeless, loafing, neglectful, passive, procrastinating, remiss, sack artist, shiftless, slack, sleepy, slothful, slow, slow-moving, snoozy, somnolent, supine, tardy, tired, torpid, trifling, unconcerned, unenergetic, unindustrious, unpersevering, unready, wear. screw it man. hard to find pt that needs me for jus a few wks, plus allow me nt to wk or wkends.

double sigh.

oops they did it again!

and why does it always have to happen on a sunday? there are like 7 days in a week, but why must it be sunday? fk it. anyway, ive gathered that no1. consultations are nt needed. 2. opinions are nv aired. 3. its better to mmob.

im a total wreck, and my life can never get any messier. i have absolutely no idea how many times i must go thru all these shit. endless. and each time aft bawling my eyes out, nothing gets done, and all's the same. its time to accept the fact that there can never be equalities in life. as much as i would love to be in denial.

and why do people always get what they want? without having to earn for it. born with a silver spoon. buy all they want, and spend like theres nt tmr. sour grapes or what. fkkkkk.

i was just thinking.. if it actually pays to be nice? will the person appreciate it? do they deserve my niceness? why am i always so thoughtful to em? will u do the same for me? but i have to keep reminding myself that they are all attached with no strings. but smtimes its really tiring. mayb its time to stop doing nice afterall.

sobs.

why do bad things happen to good people?!

Keli & Kecai

 

lunch at pizza hut with eunice n suaty today! ahaaaa.cosmo cosmo! then we went to swim at sherwood towers.. was damn fun, there was no security guard whatsoever, which means i can go there n swim anytime any day i like! wheee~! after which we went to daiso then had dinner.. nick pick us up, then dot who was mugging in sch and then we went creaming at 6th ave. yumms.

anyway, twin told me abt her gut feel. which means like a third party kinda thing. wth. and i was being so nice the whole time thinking she will be so damn sad blah. still, im glad she shared. tho i was a little mad at the fact that ppl will ask u out when their other halves are nt free. wth. machiam like sparetyre. kns. if it's accurate, well, im jus gonna be totally skeptical abt it. dont u ever dare take me for granted! hehs. and we shall see.

oh yeah, and fuck you ___________.

.: good friday :.

it was raining cats and dogs and we were practically stuck in church aft service. so we ordered pizza and it was fun + nice + warm cos ard 12 of us were lunching tog. oh wells in a way or so. and mei was even there! town with the bestie and suaty! over to taka to scout for a pressie for eug but to no avail. so in the end walk ard and then settle for dinner at nydc for my craving!

.: satuday :.
went to see houses with the pops n the agent.. hais.. wth.. craps.. then went to aunts shop to cut my bangs..! i want it straight across! aft which i followed her to her church for the perf by the continentals. cant beelieve i went. just to "ying4 chou2" her la. dont wanna turn her down also. she always got this power to persuade ppl to do certain things. hahaaa..

.: sunday :.
easter sunday.. gr8 celeb.. drove to bestie's sch to submit her proj, courtesy to nick's car, and then went bk to church so that we could go visit may at the hosp! her baby's so cute.. haa thank God for His creation. then off to orchard with fish, twin and special guest eunice! haa.. cosmopolitant grp again. had so much laughters over dinner at marche. and i think we ordered a tad too much food! had pizza, rosti, pork knuckles, mashed potato, calamari, chicken and root beer! yumms! so glad eu came with us. it was a rare opportunity that we gt to hang out tog.
went over to bunk at Soo's.. so paiseh when i was there. hais. cos as usual, im super shy ard their parents.. hais. cos i feel that im like putting them out.. anyway watched a bit of tv then went to wash up, wait for twin, then went up to sleep at the attic. felt a teeny bit bad cos we'll always go upstairs, and she'll be downstairs doing her own things. hais. and that silly woman is soooooooooooo damn afraid of the dark. switched it off and she made a big hoo-ha which was quite funny, but not so when she scared me by placing her phone beneath her face. i tell u she can not look any more like a ghost. lol. usualy yada yada till 3plus and we galloped to dreamland..

.: monday :.
woke up at 10 plus and yada yada til 12 noon and went back to sleep! wth. pigssss. woke up at 3, went to west mall for ice age, then wanted to go daily scoop, in the end bad jam, so off to adam's rd!

.: tuesday :.
dimsum buffet with the sj n eveee. tehy cannt eat one. hais. haha no match for ruth and co. then we went for the briefing by recruit express. they are paying alittle too little.. so we didnt take up the jobs.. off to retail therapy! gt rubbish stuff but im happy. thinking abt that pair of shoes nw. oops. the next time im there i shall get it! hiak. supp to go for crusade gathering.. but decided nt to cos ive been out too often, plus im nt really close with them. and only if that fucker will stop scolding me bitch bastard whatever. he must be bonkers. asshole. thot im gonna stay at home, then talk to eu online and she asked me to go swimming tmr. so im gg.. sigh i hate to hear such news from her. shall pray for wisdom when i speak tmr!!