haha... im having lunch now... ok alerady, forgot bout everything that has happened! Thank God..

had conference call with mei, suat n dot..
going grocery shopping later! yeeps! haha..
cant wait for sunday!
bbq surprise bday party for nic at my poolside!
30 plus peeps.. hehhheh...

What is wrong with me?
am i ... ... ... ???
why am i so affected by it?
Ugh.
Why did it happen.
Cant sleep.
1 in the morn, and i can't fall asleep.
Thats so unlike me.
and when i wake up,
it was only 8 in the morning.
Suddenly i jus wanted to seek God
Wanted to ask Him why.
Wanted to ask Him whats wrong with me.
Why am i behaving in this way.
Why why why why why why?
Sobbbsss...
Sobbbsss...
i need to tell somebody...
Are you there God? Its me...
Something is terribly wrong with me...
I need medicine...
I dont want ppl to think i.. i..
Sob.
Hate you. Hate you.
Hate both of you for making my life AGAIN.

i want to get out of it.
i don't want to get stuck in the well.
i wanna climb out of it.
i need a ladder to be placed in the well...
Shouts out to God... are you there...? Are you there God?
Why is my life like this again?

I'm still waiting for the answer, for a sign, for everything..
can you please God, please tell me what to do...
Please God..
thank you..

ok i got my lappie back. Dont know if i shd be happy or not. Sigh...

as usual, my life is in another mess. Ugh.

projects, tests, presentations. Ugh. Everyday, everyweek i look forward to fridays.

going for dinner with my BS gals later.. mtg at clementi instead.

think they wanna bowl, but i cant afford to cuz got cma tutorial not yet do. Ugh.

Shit (x3)

i wanna go for a holiday... Sobsss.. get outta S'pore and breathe normally elsewhere.

It was jus great. God's presence was so overpowering, thank Him for that.. Really AWESOME, FABULOUS, AMAZING etc.. Skit was farnie, esp Sharon, that girl can really act man.

three mad woman came.. Jess, Liz n Cheryl. all suan me tog with Grace, Dot.. What great friends i have huh.. Gang up and bully me..

Borrowed a cammie fr my aunty, and there was film inside, but only can take 12 pics! i was like WTH the whole way, cuz i wasted it taking ton of pics of the skit! ARGHHH... Hahaha.. but heng Fish brot hers...

Nic's Birthday is coming-09-08.. Cool huh, the world nation is celebrating it for him.. haha.. muz crack my brains to think of what ta do for him! haha...

Going airport later! Yeeps.. Supposedly to go kaypoh n pick Hariette up, but act going to buy the chocs and eat that whatever chicken they are talking about! haha... 

and there's school tmr, sobsss.. dun wanna go. sobs. and so many projects. Sobbs. Deutsch is driving me CRAZY. Sobss.. and the test is in a few wks time. Ugh. Double, triple UGH.

huh?

cant wait for tmr man.. haha.. haha.. haha.. even got balloons, kinda mad, but still, its gonna be so much fun..

went to diaso jus now.. got all the cool tins/cans! and the retro polka dot mini bags! Cheap n good! hahas.. so funnn.. wanna go back there soon..

was a eventful wk filled with thunderstorms, hardly see and rainbow at all...

so depressed on Fri.. Cheryl shd know why haha.

sometimes i wish i can SHUT PEOPLE up.. but that's jus a thought lah, not a thing i can do.. so it'll remain a dream, and i can only keep dreaming.

frankly speaking, i dont give a damn to your life. so dont tell me about whats going on alright? Jus button up your lips and everyone else will be thanking God.

Dont bullshit abt being sorry when u dont mean it at all. Dont say u r guilty when u are not. Cuz they are mere POLLUTION to my ears. And my ears are clean, so jus make sure u dont dirty it.

gonna get over it. wont let depression get over me.. No way.

ok, its a saturday, and im in church as usual, music prac.
 
tons of work to do, blaw, econs, hr, etc etc. hate it.
 
hate the bloody, spastic, idiotic, moronic, irritating old bitchy spinster.
 
wanna kick her ass and make sure she flies off and never come back.
 
feel like jus stabbing her.
 
everybody's back now safely.
 
got to catch up with em.
 
watched spidy man 2 with em on thurs..
 
dottie came too.
 
quite nice, didnt think i'll ever watch it in the 1st place.
 
anyway, enjoyed it.
 
sign up for that UOB card.
 
gosh, so excited bout it.
 
went for life but didnt get to reallli stay in there.
 
really love the "My reedeemeer lives" jumping.
 
u dont find that in SJCCC.
 
but pray that its really the heart of worship
 
and not jus the jumping.

 

Praise God, they are back! Made in for svc today! Except for Nic, Aud n Dot.. Poor Doral's passport & money got pickpocketted! Sobss.. poor girl!

anyway its so glad to see em! when i saw fish i was like, is that Sharon? then i went closer and realised its Fish! i screamed like mad k! aft that saw Gracie! So HAPPY! i was practically beaming when i saw em! Eug was there also.. Anyway, had a good catching up with her..

am gonna talk loads nxt wk.. haha.. cant wait! so nice, got a BIG NICE HUGG from Gracie! So niceeee...

went to Times n help Grace..

hey gal!!! got ur nice msg from ah bee! we are always thinkin of u here in sydney! everyday we walk long long journeys, think if u are here u shall PENG! haha.. n we save n save like AUNTIES lorr cuz the meals here ard 7dollars k! aiyooo... and when we finally go supermarket today we were so happy tat there are vege n fruits we choose n pick n laugh pple think we muz be NUTS! hahaha...
anyway gtg, hope u r doing fine in school!! HUGZ from sydney!!! :)

the above msg is brought to u by Grace...

i miss em!!! Sobssssssssss...
how i wish i was there!
school's ok but i dun really like it i guess.
then the caterpillar thingy, so traumatising!
lecturers are terrible, horrible.
mad mad people.
and everythg is so tough.
how to cope.
and my lappy.
driving me nuts.
cried my eyes out.
hate it.

7 more days.
and i'll c em.

sobs.
i misss ah mei.
i miss ah dot.

i wanna go sydney.
i wanna go sydney.
i wanna go sydney.

sobs.
sobs.
sobs.

haha.. two more days and im bk to biz hell.. went wild wild wet the other day! it was sooper fun man! tho things were kinda screwed up, and the f-word came out. didnt mean to but the stupid guy was so damn rude.. lotsa peeps, so crowded! 14 of us there, basically Naomi n Elijah cells.. heehee wanna go bk there soon!

Ah mei's in KL, n Dot's working tmr, so wil see em only 3 wks later, when they get bk from sydney. sob.. so unfair. whole world gets to go, except me!

guess i'll try to forget them!! haha.. meanies.. i dun wan presents, i want presence! but guess it's impossible.. gonna miss them lots lots lots.. Sob. Bohohoho...

ok im back. and i had GREAT FUN. GREAT GREAT GREAT FUN.

14/06/04
malacca was great, KL was great. Nic, Aud, Dot, Grace, Eu, Suaty, Hawk, n Brigitte celebrated my birthday for me! very touched, and happy. thankful for such great people that God placed in my life. Got many pressies from em too..

Grace - She made a t-shirt for me, with my name Abia on it. hahaz.. and they forced me to put it on, so i had to. and when i look into the mirror, i realised it looked like the words A PIG. ugh. nevermind, haha.. stil it was sweet of her.

Nick & Audv - the ikea stool, the bracelets from m'cca and 2 nike sports bra. haha..

Suaty - A mouse & cheese note pad

Dot - two seashells with my name n greetings squinted on with pop-up glitter.

Eu - a book mark n a card

Ginny - a perfume from body shop

Hawk & Brigitte - a cute wallet! haha..

anyway, it was really sweet and nice of em all. appreciate it. Love them all.

took lotsa pics in M'cca n KL. haha.. shared a room wif grace n we had great fun! then we had an adjoining rm which connects us to dot n eu's rm! haha.. cool man.. then we went to their chinatown to shop.. got some souveniers.. then many of us did some fruit acid tattoo thingy haha.. i had a butterfly on my inner right calve. but think it's cracking already..

and we all got new nick names again. And ,my latest invention - "HUAT!" which means to strike! haha.. that was really hilarious!

God really empowered the speaker with wisdom and he spoke to us on what was right and precise. veri encouraged too.. food was great, company was great, place was great. fellowship was great. God is GREAT. Amen.

15/06/04
then me, dot, suat, nick n aud, hawk n brigitte went up to KL. reached the place, and there was no electricity. Ugh. but aft a few hrs of negotiation, it came bk. the condo was filthy, and we had to mop the place. haha... then we went to the nearby shopping centres to shop n eat, shop and eat..

16/06/04
went to KLCC to shop.. haha.. then went to sing KTV.. damn fun, the rm was humongous, and it was real hi-tech.. haha

17/06/04
went shopping, this time at mid-valley, then we went to chinatown at nite.. the place was like bugis street in S'pore. Lotsa imitation stuff, and those adidas, lecoq sportif shoes.. hhaha..

18/06/06
Nick n Hawk brought us to the Times Square shopping centre! and there it was, the indoor theme park! the roller coaster was really scary.. and since i was there, i had no choice but to go up with Dot.. haha.. yeah, and i managed to cross the first obstacle and went on it. Still cant believe i went up. damn freaking scary, but i had to say it was FUN! and i went up with dot again! haha.. funs! but went it went 360degrees i was like, totally clueless where i am liao.. haha.. whether up or down, left or right.. hahas..

in the end, i got 2 bags, a pencil case, 2 pairs of earrings, a 3/4 pants, a pair of lecoq sportif shoes, and 3 watches.. hehheh.. and 4 wrapping papers!

and lotsa fun.. then came back to s'pore, reached at 10.. then went to church to put bk all the instruments etc.. then went to Adam rd for supper.. haha..

then went to airport at ard 1 to send my grandmama off.. she's going to hainan island haha.. And first time i knew there was a Hainan Airlines.

reached home at 4.30, went straight to bed. haha.. Adeline's gonns cook, so am going there for dinna with nic n Aud.. haha

FUN.

Firstly, i'll like to wish Marilyn, Jesselyn a very Happie 18th Birthday!

ok, this is great, cuz at this time tmr, i'll be off to Reinaissance Hotel @ Malacca, away at camp! Finally its here... but nid to bring tons of things, cuz gonna go KL til fri.. hmm, then the blur nick n aud actually forgot to bring the sleeping bags, so i have ta take 5 from church tmr! plus all the worship files! how to handle? ugh.. muz ask all the other women to help me!

pat treat me to harry potter on thurs.. bad show.. tot it was lousy, didnt even know it had ended.. getting worse.. ooh then went to Times to see the stuff that i'll be helping Grace with.. so scary.. hope i can bring a fren with me to the place..

met jess jus now to have lunch and pass her the pressie. haha.. so nice to see her again.. but this stupid mercs sorta ram into her, and knocked her elbow.. hope she's alright.. hahaz...

gonna do the bloody IS enrolment. mayb i shall take german with liz n jess.. haha.. wanted french tho..

guess im gonna spend my burfday in KL! funs.. haha! hope all wil be alright! pray for journey mercies, and protection over all of us! and to haf a great tiime of fellowship tog! hehheh..

got my first burfday perssie from nic n aud.. chose a teak/bamboo stool from ikea! haha... anyway, wil be back at sch in a couple of weeks time.. Ugh.. but looking it forward to it. haha..

exactly one wk later and it'll be MOI BIRTHDAY! Hooray! haha... guess i'll be in KL.. with nic, aud, hawk, eu, dot, suat and me! a pity grace anint going.. but still, i'll kip my fingers crossed! so wil be gone from this sun til nxt fri!

camp is jus a few days away, yeeps! cant wait cant wait.. went to skool to get the space bar fixed, but stil nt done.. gotta bring it bk again.. ugh.. and it was damn crowded.. all the freshies there. then went to lib to borrow some bks.. haha.. i got the idiot's guide to learning guitar! haha.. then two books, and some drawing bk..gonna put them ino good use! am going to borrow a cam, so i can take lotsa pics!


have been filling in the white cards since 2.. am going crazy soon. haha..

haha.. going old airport rd for dinna nw with nic, aud, ezekiel, hawk n brigitte.. then to the airport cuz brigitte needs to mk her papers!

stupid np dun lemme go check my timetable.. will try my luck again tmr..

it was june's burfday today, n we went to surprise her at her house! *funsss* then nick came to pick me up.. later got music prac..

then aud said maybe, maybe, after camp, we'll drive up to KL! that'd be totally AWESOME! Provided hawk can get leave, then all 9 of us can go tog! hehheh... cool cool cool.. cant wait.. really hope n kip my fingers crossed that his boss will approve him taking leave!

grace made a webbie for our cell.. nice but no pics! hahaa.. duh rite.. aniway, wondering if she went for the Singapore Idol today... gonna ask her tmr.. haha.. got a hunch she's going for it.. but i dun nc it.. all bout stardom, fame, and lots of money, and the happiness wun last, so whats the point.. oh yeah candice went for it, but i seriously doubt she ain't gonna make it.. cuz her singing is, o well.. shant say much.. but at least she got the courage!

went to apply the ndp04 tix! sure hope i get it.. i simply enjoy watching it live! haha... lookin forward to it man.. simply adore the month of june.. Awesome lah haha!

life has been pretty gd for nw.. not much worries.. am all geared up for camp! gracie went to perm her hair. looks like cabbage cum cauliflower nw.. and nick says im tao geh (beansprouts) haha.. cuz of my bangs.. WAhaha... then nick's onion cuz of his onion hairstyle.. haha.. mad peeps..

had fun everyday rotting at hm.. haha.. went to watch shrek2 n day aft tmr.. both r nice shows! haha. but then when watchin day aft tmr damn stress.. haha.. but it was a good show never-the-less..

mooncher n charmaine came to my place the other day.. shouldnt have shown them the sand art! mess up everythg in my rm! pur everythg here and there! almost wanted to kill them! haha.. KIDS! scary! then i had to sweep the rm.. sigh.. i've learnt a lesson, never be too nice. and nv let em play in yr rm! haha.. then brot them to the pool.. charmaine totally went berserk. started splashing water at us. MAD WOMAN. haha.. then went to aunt pris's cell chalet at costa sands.. lotsa food! haha.. yum.. guess thats was the ony fun thing i did for the wk.. now at church, jus finished retreat stuff.. got prayer mtg later.. and im playing again. hope nothing screws up.. ha..

hols kinda swim past really fast.. bout less than 1 mth.. sob.. haha.. but im looking forward to skool anyway! went to kimage let the students there cut my hair.. haha.. only 5.20.. damn cheap.. haha. i wanna cut spiky hair but think my face too big liao! haha..

ok, firstly, dad has cleared my net bills, and hp bill. so now im relieved. thank God. but think nid some time to fix bk the net stuff, get password, etc.. first thing i woke up on thurs was switching on my phone. aft that i juz put it bk under the pillow. and this vibration came, then came the NP results.. ugh. scared the hell outta me! imagine stil in dreamland, then comes this type of shock. haha. but thank God. really. He's faithful. pull me thru again! cleared everythg, including stats. thank God. was freaking scary. tot i will def fail and haf to retake but i didnt! AMEN! didnt do well lah, as usual, but real thankful for everythg! *smileeesssss*.

oh ya, then i saw clarabelle on wed at PS! oh my! i was so happy yet nervous, cuz haven seen her since P6! so its a whopping 6 yrs! she's stil the same, jus that she's bigger than before! one of my bestest fren in pri 3-4.. stil remembered she came my place n thon for a wk after my bday! haha.. she's in RJC nw, smart huh.. not like me! but stil am glad n thankful to see her! haf been searching for her high n low! haha.. then we exchange nos... sun's dot's bday.. made smthg fo her, looks kind of daft but never mind! its the tot that counts rite! 2 wks more to camp! yeeps!

have been rotting at hm almoz everyday... sit infronta lappie n play all the lame games.. haha.. and oh yeah, American idol's fantastic! Fantasia won! felt a lil sad for diana, but i guess there can only be one winner! looking forwartd to S'pore idol! but think they cant sing well.. haha.. send fish off last sunday! fun! love going to the airport.. dot, grace, suat, aud, nick n me! FUNNN! hhaha... im bonkers..

think i got flu. ugh. and i think wil haf the sexy voice pretty soon! charmaine n mooncher are sooper cute! followed my mama to her cell last nite, then played with the two of em! haha.. am so glad they are going for camp too! haha.. but so sad that they cant take chocs, cuz they have sensitive skin.. terrible..

anyway, hope everyone else's enjoying their hols! cheeeerrrrrsssss!

still no internet connection.. so cant blog regularly. Ugh. Nvm.. gonna send my lappy for servicing.. space bar cant work.. ugh.. hols are driving me crazy. Left me penniless, and rotting like fungi.. haha! basically i HIBERNATE in da room.. haha... sleep n sleep w/o getting any productive things done. haha.. im hopeless.. went for that cell last nite.. real different dominations man.. haha.. then my cousin's kid went also! and goodness gracious, he got CHICKEN POX, and his grandmama berot him there. how dumb can ppl get?! to think there was a pregnant lady there! oh my... i freaked out when i heard he got the deadly chicky poxy! u have no idea how scared i am! almost burst into tears man! haha.. useless me..

then went to my aunts house aft that.. stayed there chatting til 3am.. power huh! haha.. five women.. frankly speaking i think it probably wasnt enuff at all. haha.. give us more time and we can cont till forever.. haha.. cuz y? WOMEN. WOMEN. WOMEN.

hmmm another wk down.. whats left.. 5 more wks of freedom. hope everybody else is having a great time!

hehheh..i bloggeed... but cuz no internet connection, so cant blog! sob... many things happened these few days.. really eventful i guess! anyway, i hate male chavinistic pigs.. and i guess u are right. LOVE IS BLIND. INDEED BLIND. just how dumb can certain girls get.. i hope she wakes up in time. went to her hse to console her that very nite.. til 3.30 in the morning.thats what frens are for rite.. but i guess it didnt help, cuz she already know what she wants. DAMN IT. what an idiot..! dun wanna talk bout her, only makes my blood boil! ARGHHH... stoooopiD.. PURE STUPIDITY! not gonna care next time... DUMABASSSSSSSS.....

haha 2 primary frens left me a msg in frenster! almoz couldnt recognize em! wahaha.... the feelings great i guess.. gonna b bz this wk... catch up with pat & hl, go singing, class chalet.. but am damn broke.. really broke.. how likE that???

starting to miss all my frens!! haha.. jess, liz etc etc... my clazzzzmates! haha... and lotsa other peeps... saw sijie at Suntec on sunday, then saw donna on tues! haha wat a small world!

take care, people around... God Bless u! Cheers...

finally... and i say finally... my dreaded exams are over!!! thank God that i am still alive well and kicking! muz realli thank God for pulling me thru this sem.. and thanks to all my frens who've been rooting for me all these while! appreciate it tons! Hugs...

gonna haf fun for a few weeks or so! before the results are out.. gonna leave them all in His hands... Dun wanna think abt it for nw! haha.. this type of feeling's really great! like you've been released from a kidnapper, or rather released from jail, given a new lease of life! ahaha... kinda exaggerating i know.. but that's how im really feeling now!

hehheh.. my lappy's sick, nid to reformatt... Ugh... hope pastor nick can help me with it! waahahhahahaaa... few things that i wanna do in the hols, hopefully i'll finish whatever i've promised myselF.. LASTLY, CHURCH CAMP!!! cant wait for it man! its gonna be cool! haha...

ciao for now...