Saturday, July 14, 2007

twinnie im so sorry abt all that happened! nv meant to make u so sad. heres a really heartfelt apology from me. cant wait to see u tmr! hugs.

S - O - R - R - Y - !

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

finally the musical's over and i can only heave a sigh of relief. cannot be any happier! thru this few weeks, i've seen really ugly sides of the human race, thus stirring up a strong hatred towards them. i was really taken aback by how selfish people can be. not lifting a finger to help and yet have the cheek to go have lunch when the rest of the youths are all busy clearing up the place. what can i say, birds of a feather flock together. man, how true. but at least my conscience is clear, and i have no fear in my heart. it just portray how low, gross, repulsive and wicked u can get.sigh. so disappointing. how can the church ever ever grow under such terrible leaders? anw, am glad our mamas are singing in the same tune as us. guess God will see our heart and reward us accordingly. so i'm going to get too mad over the biasness or unfairness no longer. cos i dont want to be like them. PUIIIII...

twin, cindy n i acc my mentee to retrieve his wallet at clementi interchange on sunday. and boy am i glad and happy we went, cos i feel that we are very NICE PEOPLE!! haha. and i really thank God that it was there. cos we were all kinda tensed n kanchiong. lol. then had late lunch at mcs tog, great time of bonding and fellowshipping! had so much fun discussing all the funny school stuff. it proves that age shdnt be a issue or barrier to anythg. cos theres a 15, a 17, a 21, and a 27! hahaha~! another cosmopolitant group! another break through! wheeee i lurveeee it! happy ending to a infuriated beginning!

blogsurfing aint doing much good to me cos others always seem to lead much more colorful lives than me! and it saddens me. sigh. but guess twin's right, colorful or not is not to be determined by others but by oneself. shall not allow myself to wallow in self pity! hehhehs. ohwells. i do like my life. just that its really aimless now and i am not doing anythg about it. ugh.. smtimes i feel so guilty but yet i refuse to face reality. sigh. hope i'll wake up soon and that it wont be too late.

am looking forward to ndp preview now! the only thing thats keeping me sane. haha. i know im impossible, but hell to that!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

and i finally made the choice, went down to sim to register for mc. am just waiting for the results. and if i dont get it this time, i honestly have no idea what to do next. feeling alittle detach from my parents nowadays. perhaps im just guilty each time i see them, for not wking since a long time ago, and always asking money from em. sigh. wish i wasnt such a lazybone.

voice is almost back, but still coughing. do hope i will recover soon. being ill sure make a person feel lousy. on top of that, there had to be much frustration and anger over certain issues. smtimes i wish i could take a hold on myself, and stop letting my emotions ride over me. ugh. i need to calm down. just hope 777 wil quickly come and go. had enough of it.

the tooth issue is coming back to me once again. sigh. everytime i look at it,i get this worried pang in my heart. what if it suddenly drop off? what am i to do? but i cant bear with the idea of going thru the whole process again, the numerous trips to the dentist, the amount of money to be paid.sigh. i know i cant avoid the problem for long. and all i do is to pray for a miracle to happen. wish i didnt had such issues plaguing me. sobs. and my gums are extremely week. just a harder brush and it'll bleed. not a lot tho but still am bothered.

sometimes i really wonder whats the reason for our existence? what does it bring?

Thursday, June 28, 2007

birthday surp at during missions// uber cute chloe~!


my sweet peas & all the tea-light candles surp for me & me only!


3 weeks overdue from church camp haha





Wednesday, June 27, 2007

had been busying ourselves with the making of props for 777. lots of fun, not to forget tire! hmmm. now that most of it are done, i feel much happier. doing all the props sure drain energy off one.. then there were the rehearsals, which was rather badly done. they didnt prep well, and the date is drawing near. what can i say? ohwells. and sm parts of the story are such a contradictory. guess the ppl who wrote them had the liberty to plot it in sucha manner. just found it strange. but to em, it might be a chance to proclaim to all that they are dating and might tie the knot soon? who knows? haha.

was over at the zoo with twinnie last thurs since she had the car. and we had so much fun. the elephants were extremely cute can! and we saw them poop like 2 times! right before our eyes. hehs. and thank God the weather was gd the whole time, tho there was a lil drizzle, but all was ok. the constrictors were scary. yucks. i hate snakes!! the animals shows were superb, all really entertaining esp the elephants of asia show! ahha...too bad we had too little time there, else we could have seen more.but nevertheless i definitely enjoyed the trip. company was awesome. hehs.

then sunday night the devastating news came, mama's eldest brother passed away in KL, so we took a coach on monday morn and got back yesterday. it wasnt a too sad affair la. did lotsa catching up, lotsa laughing too. am glad i went. cos managed to say hi to many many peeps.and i really do appreciate their hospitality. people there are so much warmer than over here in sgp. i could see so much love. makes me feel guilty for the way i treat my brother. but then i bot gum back for him. haha. feast alot over there too. food was really yummy, i ate so much so fast that i burnt my throat, thus making the journey back to sgp hell for me. was convulsing in the bus, feeling super cold, goosebumps coming out etc. had indigestion, felt super bloated and head was throbbing and i felt so rotten. anw, im just glad to be home. tho i wont mind gg there smtime soon. 1 day was too short to do anythg.

now im deliberating if i shd sign up for mass comm at sim. sigh. wonder when i can ever get down to deciding what i want. all ppl tell me is to seek God and all. but i nv seem to be getting any answer. sigh.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

thot i shd upload some pictures to make my blog more interesting. ohwells, perhaps just a visual feast for myself each time i log in instead of the melancholic grey. not that im nt sad enough. haha. send in resume for wardrobe officer at MediaCorp Studios. but doubt i will get any calls. boo.

my 21st photos still in others' hands. i wish they will send it to me soon. GRRRR. anw. i got a package from australia from eve n celest! so schweet can. was a pair of roxy flipflops and a balenciaga lookalike. hahhaaaa. am using it today! so sweet. not the the other 2. totally heartlessss. bleah.

hehs us with all her pressies! (the attic bk home)

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nice stickers cum mini banner for twin with love fr mei

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naomians with the bday girl n her pressie!

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twins bday celeb at mei's hse!

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and i made this girlfrens storybook for her! know im a sucha sweetpea

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and the not so cheap but super happy helium balloon

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and the 1buck rose! cheap n pretty haha

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strawberry cognac cake from the patesserie for twin!

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twin's bday celeb with the Soos at Bosses!


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Monday, June 18, 2007

its official, and i've finally reached an important milestone of my life. 21 years flew past me, and at once. am thankful and appreciative for all the pleasant surprises i had, the presence of my loved ones were just so awesome. i truly thank God for them and may they be abundantly blessed for their love for me. hee.

2 celebs so far, 1 was at mission trip. the cake, the tea-light candles forming a happy 21st, the sparkles, the balloons. mann. all my sweet peas. then when i came back to sgp, the 3 lovely girls with pieces of birthday greetings right smack on the grass patch opposite my room. and twinnie had to coax me to go over so that i can see the 3 girls sharing an umbrella, shouting happy birthday at me. i am touched. i am. and they brought food over n we had a mini indoor bbq with mei's portable grill. had prawns, sukiyaki, squid balls, pizza, chicken wings, mango pudding, choc fondue and a banana choc cake from awfully choc. hehs. slurps.

so there was twinnie, nick, aud, suaty, eu, mei and eug.

and they got me the gold watch i had always wanted! hee. all ideas contributed by bestie. and the mphosis bag. but i was kinda sad cos it wasnt the design i wanted, and i cant exchange it cos its out of stock. nvm, i'll still use it.hehs. really apprec the girls n guys for always giving me such nice surprises. simply cos i believe im like the baby of the cell, the apple of their eyes. haha thick skin but yeah i think its cos im the youngest. thats why i enjoy being dote by others. wahah and i prefer hanging out with older ppl. anw, i love them all. for being there for me always. for making me feel so special and worthy of their love. the rest of the elijahs got me a huge piggy toy over at msia. hee. and i loveeeeeeeeed all the cards and greetings. then mei, eug and twinnie stayed over at my place and had breakie tog before svc with daddy too.

tho i must say i was actually feeling quite sad deep down. couldnt quite say why, but perhaps bcos i expected smthg more. greedy i know. i dont deny it. but perhaps it was the period, or him telling me abt his yet so stupid story on my bday, and NOT even knowing its my bday, and ppl whom i've spent so much effort on actually forget abt it and didnt text me till now, or even not having my mama ard on my bday(she was at my aunts church camp. man. that was really sad. it sucked. it really did. but at least now i know who are my true friends, and i know who i have chose to leave footprints in my heart. and i know God have planted them in my life for great reasons. i was hoping more ppl would remember, was hoping for more presents, but this yr was kind of disappointing. sigh i know i shouldnt be greedy but i just wanted more. but God also thought me to be contented with what i have. such a paradox.

am also thankful for a churchmate, aunty yuhua, who never fail to remember my birthday. its such things and such people who makes me feel loved. and i thank God for her love for others.

shoutout to those who wished me happy birthday, who celeb my bday with me : thanks so much for loving me and may our God bless u doubly for your love for me.

--> Daddy, Mummy, Naomians: Twinnie, Xueying, Grace, Eugene, Eunice, Nick, Audrey, Elijahs: Maggie, Sharon, Anthony, Jacqueline, Cindy, Esther, Joshuas: Ruth, Vincent, James, Auntie Yuhua, Grace's mama, Pastor Phoebe, Evelyn, Sijie, Glen, Charmaine, Mooncher, Rasheel, Kaikit, Pearlie, Johua, Mission trip friends: Pastor Kelvin & wife, Andrew Pastor Davidson, and lots more.

mission trip was great but shall update say tomorrow or smthg.
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today i prayed with twinnie for a really long time aft svc ended, we just sat there, tears keep flowing, wept buckets, and keep interceding for each other. now that i've said it, i realised today's sermon was preached on intercession for others. oh mann. see how amazing God is. but i really do hope He'll give twinnie a clear sign as to what He has in store for her, cos im afraid she can hang in there no longer. but anw, twin's the by far the most impt person in my life. God on the throne first, then twinnie as my psychic. we've come so close tog, share our deepest darkest secret, know each other like we know ourselves, do crazy things together, all but i can only give thanks and give thanks. and regardless of others saying we're like lesb, etc, we're just gonna turn a deaf ear cos what impt is what God thinks and not others who arent even worthy to judge us. im just thankful for this wonderful sister, so great that i just need 1 in my entire life and that will suffice. gamut of emotions for the past week, have been thinking alot. i guess gg into adulthood is really not an easy thing. sigh.

did a great deal of retail therapy to make myself feel happy.

damn. shouldnt have read the blog. now i feel even more melancholic. sigh.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

i am back from camp! haha. like finally. it have been a long 4d3n. was like a emotional rollercoaster ride. almost wanted to murder C. thank God i didnt. just had enough of her. and sm ppl had to get so uptight abt not alot of money, and come bunk in with us, making things super inconvenient and all. sigh. that really sucks. but heng its just 1 night.

anw, all complaints a side, there were some high pts. firstly we had a pretty good speaker, tho i didnt exactly understand the conclusion. haha. loved the lobster feast with 9 other peeps at sm seafood restaurant. lobsters were fresh sweet and succulent. cooked in 3 different manners, buttered, steamed and black pepper. we ordered abt 9 lobsters, so so each of one had approximately 1! isint it shiok. man, salivating at the thought of it now! haha. meals at resort werent too bad la. rooms were great too, except for the fact that i had to squeeze with other irritating ppl, nt my twinnie for sure. wahaha.

we went to swim at the beach, and at the pool. almost caught a hermit crab but its legs were too fast! wanted to go snorkelling but got bad feedback fr others who went, so we didnt go in the end, and that explains for the lobster feast! activities were alright, cept that we played it too little times. had yummy ramly burger too! fat patty of beef sandwiched with 2 nicely toasted bread and a dollop of coleslaw enclosed inside. yumms!!! wish i had more. ahaha.s had to share 1 with twin cos they forgot my share. BOO.

anw, im one lucky girl! i got 2 ndp tics! mann i was over the moon when the guy called me. smore its under my name, nt my pops whom i've had used to apply too! lucky me!! God really loves me. wahaha.. so ndp 07 here i comeeeeeeee~!

leaving for mission trip tmr, just checked the itinerary and its like super empty. hehs. good also. nt as intensive so that i can have a good rest.

that aside, i really need to go find a job already. since im bent on gg unisim nxt july. so God, pls grant me smthg which u have in mind for me. thanks!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

wheee got lotsa really nice compliments abt my hair and boy am i loving it!

twinnie is back from china since last mon. woohoo. no more loneliness. and its here birthday, so HAPPIEEEEEEEEE BIRTHDAYYYYYYYY LOVEEEEEEEE! hope we'll have a blast together today eh! heehee. got a helium balloon, a fat red rose, a cake from the patisserie,sadly no passionfruit meringe, and a girlfrens book i made for her. haha i love all i did. ROFL.

got acceptance from sim biz mtkg, but the other, unisim, only offered me a place for their nxt intake in july 08. am at a lost now. really have no idea what i shd do. sigh. smtimes i wish i need nt make so many major decisions in life. seems like the future is really obscure. hais. hate that feeling. eeks. if only God will give me a really clear sign. time's running out too. church camp's like 1 wk later, and sadly, i am not at all excited about it. weird as it may seems but yup, no special feelings. infact i aint even sure if i wanna go. and the farnie thing is i have yet to pay up yet! ahhaha.

wondering if i shd take up mktg, or go wk and wait for unisim. sigh.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

got another 2 surprises from bestie! haha. first it was the letter which she mailed me from changi airport! wheee. so touched i started tearing haha emo me. cos she remembered that im envious of the fact that she always has letters but not me! wahaha, so surprise surprise again! keke. what more can i ask from a friend like her. and secondly she sent me a ecard! another surprise! haaha cos i didnt expect her to be able to go online, perhaps biz ctr at hotel or smthg. anyways, am looking forward to have her back with me. her company sure beats everything.

and asking certain ppl for help is like - blood inducing. bleah. smtimes i wish u were less intimidating and more helpful! sigh. no one is perfect i guess. and the jerk! i nv once assumed we were anything, just what makes u think that others will wanna go out with u? stupid mcp. puiiii.

had insomnia the night before, prolly cos of the cup of green tea i had 1.5 hrs prior to sleep. so in the end i slept at 2, woke at 5.45am and slept again at 12.30pm and up at 2plus to have lunch. def feel groggy now, bleah. gonna cut hair tmr! excited! woots. just hope and pray that it doesnt turn out too disastrous or smthg. *fingers crossed pls*

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

d®t to me

yo twinnieee babe..! i know im gonna miss ya soooo soooooo muchhhie... and u gonna miss me toooo hehs sooo tot i'd drop u an email as a little SURPRISE !!!! keke. u know i always hav a penchant for surprises yae. wheeeeeeeeee...!!!

always had fun with u love. all the time can. every single moment, despite occasional ups and downs. all the silly antics we hav, laughing hysterically at each other kukus stunts, my "intentionally awful" singing+harmonising (im for real its intentionally awful, i sing much betta than i put across can), always wanna go tanning but rain/cloudy, and when we finally did so we suntan till we get back redness+sore+ache+itch, going new and almost never intended places tog, being there for each other thru tears and pain. i vividly rem tt day where we weeped so heartwrenchingly in my room, my attic. just pains me can, whenever i think of it. but we know yah tt ultimately nothing's gonna get both of us down, or tear us apart, break us up, nope NOTHING !!! we shall stick stick STICK with each other thru thick and thin k. i know sometimes its difficult to tolerate with my incessant ramblings and yet not appear irritated or pek chek else i grumble and make noise again. wahhhaha. thanks for understanding, thanks so much for trying dearie. i know and i can definitely sense tt u are trying alot. MUACKKSSS!!!

totally appreciate u for all u have done for me. all in all, i just wanna say u play a mega huge part in my life! without u, i dun know how i cld hav survived especially the past year. sigh tears are welling up in my eyes. so much intense feelings yet i cant put it down exactly into words, but u know how i feel and what i mean yes darling twin? our psychic powers! tho i always say things to hurt u intentionally or unintentionally, pls forgive me wont u love. sometimes in the fit of anger i just dun know wat im doing anymore. and i may claim tt we were only close since yest, but in my heart it has been forever can, i dun even know since when i regarded u as best fren, but it sure has been a long loooong time. yes i may not appear to really cherish this friendship more than u do, but trust me i do cherish it every single bit of it, every moment spent tog.

babe, lets treat this one week break as "absence makes the heart grow fonder" (and literally distance too). and we'll look forward to MORE fun times tog coming up in june !!!! hee. im EXCITED, cant wait, having ur company and experiencing more new things tog. thrills my heart already. take care darling benben, be wise and take good care of urself k. im gonna be soooo missing u for sure. will be praying for ur safety and ur parent's trip to china too. stay healthy. be happpy too. eat proper meals promptly. wait for my phone callss.....!!!!!!! LOVELOVE, HUGS and french KISSESSSSsss

received the above email from bestie before she departed for bj on sun! such a lovely email just make my day! wheee. hee am so thankful that i have such a great friend/sister in my life.

kukus sim have yet to get back to me regarding my posting. it had better come soon grrrr.! twin's bday cmg up and i have no idea what to get for her! worstill, im a pauper now. ugh. and 1 more mth to my bday, boy am i excited! wheeee. hahahaha.

am getting busy with perf on 27th, hope the elijahs will just come have fun and make it a blast, and i'd be really happy! hehs.