wed 23rd aug...

sigh. what a night! if only i had pay more attention to the needs of others around me. i swear it was freaking scary. didnt expect things to turn out this way. this is what happens when we take smone for granted. esp smone we love so dearly. made the call and then the crying began again. didnt know what to say in times like this. if i knew it was so terrible, i would have scolded the bitch upfront. wth. so not encouraging. has she forgotten that we are brothers and sisters in Christ? isnt the class all about learning together? so why the fuck did the bitch say that the things she shared are fei4 hua4? fuck u! fuck u for being such an asshole. for causing unnecessary hurt and upsetting my loved one so much. pui.*

jus wondering why things always turn out to be so ugly all the time, in the midst of so looking forward to see one another, and jus one issue, and everythg turn sour. fuck that man.

that aside. realised that yisanba has been trying to be funny with me. and smhow, i wish what she said was true! i would have been over the moon. but the sister will always be a barrier. haha. it appears to me that ysb kept trying to like prompt me to speak. from my observation, it has been around 3 wks since that happen. all the evidence seems to point at one direction, haaa. but perhaps it was never intended for, and jus wishful thinking on my own part.

armragte.

hmmm. poor girl. new staff and got tekan, being throwed so much work. sigh. feel so sad for her. jus hope that she wil pull thru and prove all of em wrong. no idea why certain ppl can be so nasty.. jus mere 4 days and they expect her to know everythg? impossible what! even if u want smone to learn, thats nt the way to do it what...! sigh. feel so so sorry for her. poor thing! she even came bk to office on sat to wk can! arghh.

aunty susan.

saw her on fri and i realise i miss her! miss her booming voice, and miss her passionate heart for bringing more to God, even tho she sort of got into my nerves during the rally on fri. shdnt have gone. smhow i jus cannot comprehend all the slaining and speaking in tongues thingy. its super scary for me! and there was this girl who got the monkey spirit in her. sounded kinda farnie but its horrifying too! she was shriekign and screaming, saying "bu yao" and the elders and pastor kept praying for her, driving the devil out. was damn scary scene. *creepy.

other than that, havent been getting enough rest. ot almost every other day and its driving me bonkers. i wanna go home at 6!!! sobs. got my zara in red n white stripes. dunno why they have to give dumb comments that i honestly dont need time and again. sigh. thnk i need to change my wardrobe. need to get tudungs, and long sleeves and long pants. all covered up. whee!

its disciple class again tongiht. hope i dont screw up. and i want less ot and more dinner time with my lovelies! i want to shop too. if only my salary wil come in like now. sigh. need to wait at least a gd old 2 wks. ugh. hair's jutting out, 1 word, ugly. sobs. but i wanna keep it leh! sigh. wanna go sentosa too, and swimming and tanning! but ive got no time. boo*

time for an update.

its back to cnc again. ok right the other time i said the signs are clear that i shd leave. but anw, im back there, and wj with me this time. anyway, waking up at 7 sucks big time. eeks. and squeezing with ppl on the bus is eeky too. not much work to be done, since its the mere beginning of the month. goodie. can slack. haaaa.

twinnie came over to stay on tues.. but had to rush home ytd half way cos her daddy's cut his finger. 1/3 of it came off. freaking scary. so had surgery last night. hope all's well and that everybody at home is ok too.

over at marina to catch a glimpse of the fireworks on tues. quite pretty, but it was dumb that we spent time queing at ljs, wasting our chances to catch the whole 12 mins. perhaps shd go down again on sat. hehheh. twinnie might be gg dubai at the end of yr. i wanna go too. but i dont have the moolah leh. if only i can save all my pay, then i'll follow her. but im scared. freaking scared that ltr when we're thr, they'll wanna do stupid stuff.. like clubbing/marijuanaing, smoke pot. then i wil faint. since her fren's pretty notorious. haaa. oops.

other than that, ive attempted packing my clothes into the cupboard. but suck it la, cupboards freaking ugly, and one side of the door seems to be falling out pretty soon. hope it happens soon, so that i can get a new one. perhaps i shd keep banging it, n then it wil fall out.

chaaa~!

been putting up at twinnie's place for 1 wk already. everyone's really nice, except that i stil get the jitters when we have dinner tog. hais. cant help feeling super shy n paiseh. haaaa. have been slacking all day long, watching satc, and sleeping most of the time. feel like a paralyzed nw. oops.

getting used to the hair nw, doesnt seem as heavy or irritating nw. but i dropped 1 strand of the dreadlocks on friday! ugh. yati picked it up for me and tied a knot. smwhat look like a pretzel. wahaha. think will take it off pretty soon. but other than that, im loving my hair! have received pretty cool comments abt it. hahaaa. quite fun actually, smthg diff i guess!

am lacking of ice cubes. cos twinnie forbid me to eat them. but 1 or 2 occasionally. feel like im a drug addict. only diff is im an ice addict. sigh. thinking of them simply makes me drool. anyway... its discipleship class tmr. so fast. and ive yet to done the work. ugh... hope we can drive out later to have ice cream or smthg. im pretty bored cooped up at home all day long. makes me super lazy.

jus realised i havent enrol for sim jan intake. hope i'll get it done soon. chaaaaa~!

am back from bkk. like ive said a million times, TIME FLIES WHEN U R HAVING FUN. boo* how sad. but travelling is sure fun with the right company. tho i admit ive been pretty much a bitch, being cranky, demanding, selfish and cold at times. hope she wont be frighten horrid by me. hee.

anyway, back at twinnie's house since everythings is a really huge mess over at 171. almost couldnt believe my eyes when she drove me there earlier on. yikes. guess wil be putting up at twinnie's for the nxt few days.

super sian. felt as if im bk from holi, and that nobody wants me anymore. wth. back to a place where its so messy. toilet's nt done up. furnitures unwrapped. boxes unpacked. dont even feel like gg bk there til its all done up for me. eeks. sad too. jus wanna get it over and done with. if only we didnt have to move. feel like a nomad now la.

anyway... bangkok has been prettty awesome. loved the fact that all things are dirt cheap, and we are like living the lifestyle of the rich n famous there, giving tips and all. wahaha. didnt do much shopping tho, seriously if u asked me, things there can all be found in sgp, so nothing much for grabs. its more of the company and the window shopping that i enjoy. simply appreciating the fact for different ways of life. amaze me a whole lot.

we covered almost the whole part of bkk, went to chatuchak, pratunam, baiyoke sky, suanlom, siam centre, siam paragon, siam discovery centre, mahboonkrong, khaosan. all markets, cept for a few shopping centres. chatuchaks like super hot la, making me pek chek jus by walking. took the ferries wheel over at suanlom. loveeee it. so nice. oops. and we watched the thai girls show too. finally know what all the hype is abt. anyway, its jus girls using their vaginal muscles to perform stunts. the things they do are quite shocking. openign a coke bottle, playing pingpong, pulling out long strips of blades, bells, flowers, shooting balloons using the arrows on their vagina, etc etc, all with the use of their vaginas. scary but am taken aback at the same time. and they ended it by having sex. wth. that sure freaked me out cos we were sitting right on the first row. eeks. but anyway, its all jus for the exposure.

everywhere we go, we took the taxi, except the first day where we took the tuktuk. that was absolutely fun, like we are in a really huge toy car. haaaa. hate the noise+air pollution tho. took their train too and its so short. alamak. one thing that scares me silly are the beggars on the street. omg. one was maimed in one leg, and he was sitting on the floor and moving using his butt n legs. was a scary sight. the other fella was also maim in one leg, he was lying flat right on the floor, with a container in one of his hands. scary. sigh. and saddening too.

food was gd, had phadtai almost every other day, had jap bbq, calamari, black olive rice, and lots of fruit shakes. loved the lychee shake. had dunkin donuts and a&w too. slurps. and 2 times of popeye's chicken, during our departure and arrival. hee.

guess the most significant thing we did there to remind us the remnants of bkk has got to be my DREADLOCKS and twinnie's BRAIDING. hahaha. but the itch is driving us bonkers. and its so heavy that we cant really sleep with it on. contemplating to remove it tho its a mere 1 day. haaa but nt so soon cos i spent a bloody S$60 on it. anyway, mine can last foreveer for twinnies one only for 2 mths. got a hunch shes gonna get it out really soon. haaaa. anyway, still liking my dreadlocks tho its making me feel really uncomfortable at the same time.

overall, it has been a gd trip. relly enjoyed myself. have nv been anywhr, so am really glad abt this trip, and i must say it was pretty much satisfying. thanks to my babe who have been so accomodating and doing such a gd job of taking care of me. am so glad shes the one whom i went there with. wanna go out of SEA now. i wish...

woke up early this morn, follow the pops to get the toilet stuff, plus lights for the house! and i chose a white one which looks like birdnest! lurrveeee it. starting to see the bright side of moving house already, thanks to twinnie's analysis n encouragemt. she have been a real darling, helping me pack my stuff, cheering me in times of need, and also painting of my room. appreciate it so much. wonder what i'll do w/o her.

anyway, we are off to bkk tmr night! finally its here. hehs. but wil be gone in a flash too.

fyi, my new add... blk 171 bukit batok west ave 8 #04-359 s650171

other than that, life has been pretty much fun ever since i stopped work. love having all the time in my hands. but am so broke nw. changed 400bucks for bkk trip. broke broke broke. wil need another job soon. think im prolly gg sim jan's intake. hope i'll rem to register for it, plus collect my dip cert! ugh. suddenly life seems void. so many things gg on. cant really get hold of it all.

til then, ciao!

slumberthon at my place for the past few nites, twinnie came over. and we watched sex n the city. hahaaa damn hilarious n daft too! but i fell asleep quite a few times during the wee hours. have been sleepign at like 6in the morn. madness! zits are all popping out now. ugh. suntannign was fun too! and all the piggingg out, and durians in the middle of the night in geylang. all except when i got scolded til i cried. sobs.

my babes are gone to aussie. am gonna miss them tons! til we meet again in dec yeah. (:

its 1 more week to bangkok! so excited can! *giggles

shifting in a wks time. too bad i wont be ard. gotta start packing already. hope the loo's nice. i want a new n spanking clean one.

p.s thks june for the lovely pressies from jap!! heres to more cabbing nxt time! hee

ok.the signs are even clearer nw. 3 more days to byebye cnc! hehs. finally can take a break aft like 2 mths of slogging my ass off. no more papercuts too!

twinnie was so sweet to have thot of lunching with me at anchorpt ytd. poor gal had to go see the osteopath alone. now the trotter's wrapped up again and she is grounded at home. ugh.

it has been shopping and more shopping nowadays. and ive finally found the joy of shopping alone aft 20 yrs. really enjoy having that time for yrself, walking ard and jus enjoying the pretty sights. and i jus counted, i blew 900buckeroos of my salary on shoppg, treats, n the bkk trip. ahhhhh. madness. and theres the jap buffet on thurs, eve's bday, farewell gift for the girls. madness redefined!

sudden whirl of excitemt when i thot of gg bk to sch in sim. hmmm.

after much procrastination. sin-bkk, finnair. amazing thailand here we come! lol. 21st to 25 jul! cool yeah. jus dorothy soo n me since the rest cant make it. and my mamas mad. cos i booked the tics n paid w/o her agreeing to it. sigh. obviously i understand that its bcos shes worried and all. but c'mon i havent been to anywhr in my whole 20 yrs. wish she wil understand me too. sigh.

so we went chinatown to get it all booked. flying finnair! hw funs. cant wait already. but to be frank, im also a lil scared. imagine 2 girls al alone in foreign land. and thailand aint exactly safe. and i wanna watch thai girls show. yet im scared. haha kukus me.

and i am so damn broke now. only abt 10 bucks left. and theres zara sale. ahhhhhhhhh. how irritating! lets hope the pay come in soon, and the sale will linger on! waka.

im gonna get busy...! gotta meet up with joshua before he goes to NS. gotta meet wenjun before i leave. wanna catch up with june. gotta meet the girls b4 they leave for auzzie. gotta have a thank u party for suat. busy busy!

serene's contract ended today. sigh so sad. no more lunch partner. dont really click with xiuwen. and the new temp staff cmg in are her frens. 2 guys smmore. think i shall be like amy n stay in office n eat. mayb can diet too. hehheh. and bitch with rahimah.

God has been really gd, giving me answers as to whether to stay in cnc or nt. the signs are clear. thank u Lord. beginning to see the dark side of it all. am smhw glad tthat im having my last wk soon. no more ot. no more slogging my ass off, getting paper cuts, sarcarsm fr stupid ppl. but im sure gonna miss rahimah and the trolley auntie. keke and nice ones like phllip. hehs.

gonna go turn in soon. everyday ive been out. turning into panda soon. nights! gd wkend.... (:

twinnie is sucha sweetpea! text me n offered to help my pack my stuff. and so she came n we started packing. then again, theres not much to pack. kakaka. girl talk again til 12 plus n then we head to geylang for our supper! hehheh so fun but kinda scary too. anyway, it was a splendid night! made up for the monday blues, and all the silly squabbles & unhappy times. am looking forward to so much more.

its gonna be a longgg day at wk. hais. and i think they are gonna hire perm staff, which is making me kinda happy. nothin's concrete, but i need a break. contract's ending nxt fri, God pls show me the way! *confused again. ugh.

friday.
had our silly argument again. this time it gt worse. and i thot it was all gonna end there since she wants me to stay away. felt totally awful. can almost die in the bus la. i mean its like wtf u ask me out and yet thats how u treat me? boo*

saturday.
am so glad that things have changed for the better! way better. she was in her normal self. hehs. but i was stil scared n hurt la. dont know when she wil do it again. damn. haaaa.. and we went out. almost miscomm again during lunch. bleah. went down to chinatown to check out stuff for our bkk ttrip! so many laobeibeis there can. tsk.

then caught silent hill and its another stupid show la. then had dinner at ps. n twinnie brot me to tcc for dark devotion. super yummy warm choc cake with choc fudge oozing out! super nice can. but damn exp. 9.90. ugh. anyway ostrich concluded that its cos we've seen too much of each other! getting on each others nerves. everyday for 9 days! madness. but im glad all things are solved la. guess when frens get too close, they tend to take each other for granted.

sunday.
rehearsal for youth sunday. i must say i had pretty much lots of fun.they sure make me laugh lots! lookg forward to the nxt rehearsal where i can laugh my ass off again. haaaa. off to town with the cellies. wonder hw we are gonna go bkk tog when they are all in their own world. wondering if they wil ever have a break thru. else its jus gonna be so so WEIRD. hais. dunno how to deal with it also. bleah.

caught jsut my lack. it was lacklustre la. haaaa. but am glad they found it ok. cos i thot it was borringgg. retail therapy at mango! gt my denim jacket n a top. hehhehs. cheap thrills. HAPPY. but nw ive got no money to go bkk. ugh. wondering if i shd extend my stay at cnc. confused. boooooooo. gonna be a busyyy day! byeeeeeeeeeee

monday
went for pedicure @ earth element at holland v on mondy with twinnie. thats was pretty fun n ticklish! and we were both kinda sampat, and had a really low threshold for pain. ugh. then went to get pressie for amei. sad night la. sigh.

tuesday
Mei's ROM was awesome! it was by the beach at east coast park, what a pretty sight! nice decorations with the garlands, the nice flowers, organza. it was all sooo pretty! so happy for my girl. had sucha nice time taking pics, eating n drinking til the stars came out to play. it was a first time attending a ROM by the beach for me. heeee, definitely a nice one!

aft that went bk to the chalet for missions camp. rot ard the first night since there were no activities. went out for night supper n saw bapoks! wheeee. i likee.. then as usual had girl talk w twinnie til the wee hours of 5 in the morning. then it was the msg by pastor simon then our bbq. and thats abt the end of it. beginning to enjoy playing bridge whahahaa. sigh. im beginning to feel that im like the claustrophobic friend. hais.

this has got to be the best birthday so far! lovely surprise i had that made me wept buckets.

thursday.
great meet up with my girlies, thanks for the pressie, eve, sijie n jesselyn! niceeee, i like. heehee. and lizzie too, for the nice cute karma like bottle with the sticks. i thnk they are like damn useful can. cos i asked the qns whether if i'll have fun ytd and the answer was a YES! heeee. thanks babes! (:

friday.
took half day off from work. mama rang me in the morning and sang e birthday song to me over the phone. so sweet can. had lunch with the pops in the noon, and then went home. took a nap, and was supp to go for pedicure n then to fish n co to watch dot's fren perform, some band at fish n co.

so twinnie came over, and we cut a cake fr my parents. i am really so touched by it, cos we havent been doing such stuff since a long time ago, cos every yr we'll be so bogged down by the hse that we dont have mood for that. then off we go to bukit timah plaza, but couldnt find the shop.

took a cab down town, cos i didnt want her to be late for her fren' perf which was fr 7-730. she was reluctant, but in the end we stil board one aft much persistence fr me. heh then stop at far east n walk all the way to glass hse jus cos we didnt wana pay the erp charges.hhhaaa wth. so we walked for a bloody 40 mins. and when we went there, her fren wasnt singing already. so she called her and went upstairs and look for her.

and there the whole of my cell group were singing the happy birthday song as soon as went up the stairs. omg. i couldnt believe it. it was really a plesant plesant surprise. and as i sat down, i was simply speechless. and as they sang the song i started crying. tears of joy. im just so thankful that God loves me so so much that he had such a wonderful celebration for me. cos everyone's like really busy, and i realy dont expect them to cast their work aside jus to celeb for me. am so so so so touched. will never forget this man.

thanks so much - eunice, dorothy, grace, eugene, nicholas, audrey, xueying, vincent, ruth. thanks for all the lovely gestures that really melted my heart.

i think i cried for a good 10 mins or so. couldnt control it. so malus. tears kept streaming down my face. ugh. puffyeyed!! then i finally stop and started eating.. then aft a while amei came over and talk to me and i cried again. haaaa crybaby. jus too touched la. really thank God for this group of me. and also for loving me who's undeserving n unworthy. im really really touched.

went to giraffe oppo the istana aft that, had drinks over there.. it's a super nice n chic place, a tad like balcony. had long island tea, pina colada, red wine, tequila sunrise, n blue lagoon. hee nice chill out place. aft which they tried to hook me up with the waiter! wth. haaa they asked for his number for me, saying im the bday girl blah, and he was a gd sport, cos he came back with a card and his name n number on it. haaaa so paiseh can. but i jus shrug it off and play along la. and wth they gave him my number too!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. didnt wanna appear petty, so i jus let them do it. and omg he sms me saying he finish wk for that day already, and that he aint free that night but wouldnt mind gg out for a drink today. haaaa CRAP can. i mean its like HELLO, we're jus kidding cant u tell?? lol. funny day la.

and to all who have wished me a happi birthday, i wanna shout out a big thank you for remembering for each sms/ lovely greeting have touched my heart.

Aunty
Jesselyn
Audrey
Nick
Dot
Xueying
Pastor Phoebe
Pearlie
Grace
Esther
Ruth

Ginny
Daddy
Mummy
HuiHui
YanBing
Wenjun
Maggie
Joshua
Jacqueline
Sebastian
Kaikit
Haryanti

am gonna treasure all these gd times. these memories can last me a lifetime man. shall post up pics real soon.

back from camp. had a great time with the lovelies, tho i wouldnt say it was the most fantastic or whatsoever, but sure many trigger happies with twinnie. sermon was nt too bad but place wasnt gd n food was sianing. everyday was more or less the same n many had diarrhoea. ugh. haha.

watched slither on sunday with twinnie. kinda hilarious n gruesome. but smone spoilt my morning la. sigh. dont know why she like to say such stuff to hurt ppl. intention or nt, to hell with it. and i must say i was a little disappointed. dunno why i always like to make a big hooha outta smthg. i gotta learn to take things in my stride, and nt put my focus n attention on nonsensical things.

had dinner at geylang with joshua ytd, and we walked ard for 1hrplus in search for the hookers n trannies! and indeed we feast our eyes! haaa. but seeing em makes me feel quite sad la. sigh.

n my birthday is cmg. ive pin so much hopes on it, as usual. haaa always thinking that its gonna be a special day blah. but i guess i gotta slog my ass of as wk la, sians. anyway, thanks for wanting to celeb my bday with me. i really appreciate it lots but i cant help feeling that its out of obligation. perhaps im wallowing in self pity yet again.

today's graduation! but im nt gg. haaaa. wth.

and i might be studyin at SIM. hell. the sch which i always emphasize is for people who are rich but stupid. ugh. karma. so much for it.

a belated shout out to jess: HAPPIE 20TH BIRTHDAY!

my birks are heree! finally. keke. pretty pretty. i likeee.

thanks twinnie babe for driving me ard, apprec it! went icekimo for ice cream. yummy. horlicks, jasmine n cempedak. slurps.

am gg for church camp tmr til sat. cant wait already! woohoo. finally can unwind and get away fr wk.

mtg my missed ones tonite! like finally. happi happi.

it was a great wkend to begin with! twinnie came over for a slumberthon for a change! watched the nun and it sucks. so pls do nt attempt to watch it. yucks. pui.

sat was the grand opening of tsk. went swimming at karinas place and then the potluck/bbq party. and i had my FIRST BIRTHDAY CAKE! how nice! hehheh. n im the only one whose bday falls in june! hiak. that makes me special special SPECIAL! wahaha...... ok kns i know.

then comes sunday where i had my SECOND BIRTHDAY CAKE!! for me and me only. that was from the mthly youth celeb! heehee.. its MAHJONG choc cake, baked by maggies mama! sweet.

towning with sampat darling. hee. it was a gd weekend spent with worthy people.

thanks for all the sweet thoughts and advanced celebrations. appreciate all of u. infinite kisses, abia.

peak period's over nw, can finally take a breather. phew. and yeah! tgif again!! how fast. (: had a great time during the wkend, even tho for the indiv hiccups. am so ashame of causing so much hurt to ppl i love. i need to change!! so sorry. tho i know u wont be seeing this.

mini pj party celeb for twinnies bday on sunday at church. thanks nick for e wonderful bbq! loved the bacon wrapped bananas. yummy. then celeb with twin again on the actual day, with nick n aud. watched davinci, courtesy of twin, and i fell asleep. oops. so paiseh. hahaa. but thot the show sucks la. no climax whatsoever. and it was the 940 show. was too shagged by wk to pry my peepers open.

anyway, its friday soon!! WHEEE!!! how fast. am loving it!! woohoo..

sat's gonna be the secret kitchen's grand opening. why am i nt looking forward to it? hmmm weird. but im sure lookg forward to camp! which reminds me i havent pay my fee.s

did overtime today! 2 whopping hours.. cos rahimah was busy, and needed my help.. new kia magentis cmg in, so sales have been increasing, plus its the end of mth, and theres a target to hit. so its busy busy for me too.

and praise God, my salary came rolling in! like finally. phew. and i can finally heave a sigh of relief nw! woohoo. just that it appears i cant withdraw it. weird. nvm. and tmr im gonna send in my other payslip! shiok man.. wheee. gonna start saving up, but gt urge to go shopping alone on fri aft wk! zara, here i come! woots.

today mag asked when im staying in c&c till. then i told her 7th july, but part of me wants to extend my stay there. how weird. sigh. dunno la. but think their pay quite miserable also.

and tmr i'll have to ask mag abt all the leave that i wanna take. hais. so scary.! ugh. hope she approve them. if u happen to see this, rem to keep me in yr prayers! hehs.

cant wait for my birkies! woohoooooo. and i cant wait for friday too.