i've lost track of time. it passes so fast, and tmr comes 1st of May. like hello, 1/3 of the year had disappeared just like that.

looking back, its all thanksgiving besides thanksgivings. say work, His providence. Wasn't what I had in mind, ain't alot of money, but the ppl are awesome. School, had been relatively well in context of results. and the ability to juggle btw work and sch. tough at times, but He gave me the strength to persevere on. Having said that, life in church is like rolling down the slope. i find it so hard to catch the momentum. still, im trying, with help from above and the one who's always beside me. constant encouragement is all i need. being in the worship ministry, given the ability to serve has been great. but often i take it for granted, and i fume at the slightest reason. smtimes hidden agendas blurred my vision, and it becomes a display of what i have to show. which i must all repent for it. family has been great, despite a almost non-existent r/s with the sibling. pops are awesome, as always, and im truely thankful for that. and especially the providence of my sch fees. cos i know since im the one who wanted to study, i shd go all out and support myself. but the pops are so nice, wking hard to pay my sch fees so that i can study in peace. friends, always an essential part of my life. i must say i've lost some. perhaps i havent been trying hard, i don't know. or probably as we grow up, mentality differs, views change, and i find myself unable to catch up with them in the rat race. and perhaps is the reason why i cont to grasp tightly to the ones i find worthy. thankful for the best friend, who has became a family fren. the constant shower of love, understanding, and even just by being there. i may nt have mention, but my heart is smiling each time i think of what u've done for me, and how our frenship has blossomed these yrs. its truly amazing, the kind of telepathy,psychic powers.

pardon me for the long post. just wanted to let my fingers run free and share the sudden outburst of emotions which i gotta let out. strange, cos i didnt expect to touch on all these.

its Labour Day tmr. have a good rest my loves.

im just gonna unwind and let my hair down. (:

hello. am back. after what seemed like a hiatus? hmmm actually its jus pure busyness with all the mugging for exam. which i must say the paper came as a shock and a disappointment as well. kinda tough the questions. but now that its over, i will pick myself up and nt brood and linger in the sucky mood.

the best fren has been amazing.gestures so sweet. i am so touched. brought ice cream fr daily scoop and surprised me when i was feeling so stressed up and bogged down with exams and was craving for sm comfort. and suddenly the phone call came, and nxt thing i know, DING DONG! she was there, at my doorstep. the very nxt day yet another sweet surprise, yummy muffs fr Choc and Spice, piping hot, all the way fr tanjong pagar. when u have such fab frens, u'd realise that u dont need any other thing!

wilfy's wedding on fri night was great, nice lomantick ambience n music. company was great, tho there were sm nt very pleasant times, but at the end of the day, the rainbow sneak out to embrace us in the wee hours of the dawn. trigger happy moments. (:

lazy sat, had yummy mcgriddles again, then went swimming before the music min mtg. over to JP and gt skirts at a steal! 1.90! madness. hehs. then the best friend came over for a slumberthon.

svc on sunday and the much dreaded mtg. sigh. i dont know what to feel anymore. poof.

sigh. i cant help but get envious of those who always get to jet set. damnit. boss is gg darwin like friday. boo.when will my dream ever ever come true?

this weekend was crazy. really crazy.

have been burning midnight oil toiling thru the proj. met up with the rest on friday. prior to that had retail therapy again! at little india. haha. tank tops going at 50cents per piece! can u believe it? my gosh. and sm nice transparent rubber flats which ive gotten a pair for twinnie as well.

then saturday morn we took the car, went to get macs breakfast- mcgriddles! was absofkinglutely yummilicious can! the maple syrup infused muffins were fab fab FAB! wheee. hungry nw. then went exchange shoes and had lunch at little india! woohoo. mei brought us to Komali Vila and we had fantastic poori and thosai! was humongous! shall post sm pics soon or smthg.

then back to shiqis pad for proj. wanted to buy lana cake but ran out of it. so got a mango strudel. then when at her plc, this bitch was trying to pick up a fight with me and frens jus cos she was the sub-editor but her name was taken out and placed elsewhr. wtf. i was seriously pissed. then after fren talked to her, she woke up her idea. but stil as bitchy in my opinion. then we went back. took a cab back cos super tired, smore we didnt have dinna! madness.

then talked to babe on phone, and realised i left her laptop in the taxi! i wept buckets. literally. for a whole hour i kept crying til there's no tmr. so today i had super puffy and swollen eyes. madness. triple eye-lids . haha. think it actually makes my peepers bigger. and ma said that i shd cry every sat night. SIAO. but anyhw, i was so scared shit outta my ass, cos i was afraid that dot wouldnt want me anymore. that this whole saga wil either make or break our frenship. boo. so i kept crying. then when i was checking online the cab hotline to call, my hands were shaking! then told one of my mates, and she told the other girl, and in the end fren called my and said i left the laptop at her house! AHHHHHHHHHHH. i wanted to shoot and kill myself. sigh. am i forgetful or what. but sure GOD was faithful. He made me learnt many lessons. but after i know it was there i was still crying like siao. suffering from shock la!

then now, stil pia-ing the project. pui. but i really appreciate the best friend for fetching me here and there. despite it being none of her biz. just that we were supp to meet like later but she has to go for dinna with family. but well, family is always more treasured than frens ah. haha. perhaps im post-pmsing. just feeling sad. sigh. supposedly gg out for dinnna. but stomach is like rumbling now. boo.

its monday tmr. and there's work. but imfeeling soooooooo tired. but cant take leave for mon and tues cos the paycheque's issued till 15. sians. i neeeed rest........

and food. byebye.

whoa. it's like friday. time crept up so silently i didnt even realise.

but there's proj mtg tonight. and tomorrow! yikes. and the girls are feeling bitchy, keep having stupid conflicts. really stupid ones.

i gt back my assignments. did pretty well. way above all my mates. im so thankful. and happy. and thankful again. thanks to all those who helped me in a way or another. wouldnt have been possible w/o their help.hehs. so happy, im jumping for joy. so im hoping for a distinction for that module. woohoo.

things aint exactly too smooth at home. its the devil at work. sigh. ireally really hate my brother. he seems to always make all of us upset in a way or another. sians.

exam is in like 2 weeks time. and i havent started studying! bah. and i think its gonna be so tough. she doesnt seem like a v lenient marker. let's just hope that i can get down to mug soon. i really hope to ace well through this entire course man. make my pops happy.

the weekend is here. savour it~! XOXO.

i woke up feeling blue, cos why? its monday.

i really abhor mornings you know. esp when one has to work. SIGH. why can't the weekend be longer? sobs. i wish all good things didn't have to come to an end.

was on the phone with bestie last night, was complaining to her how my fren keep telling everyone that she and her bf break up. like broadcasting to the world. sigh. im so tired abt this whole issue. why is it that every topic has to be abt bf, sex etc etc? just feel like crawling into a hole and hide. probably that's the reason why i haven't initiate any meet-up with my other frens besides church ppl. its all superficiality and pure shallowness. the thought of it is revolting. almost felt like throwing up when i was washing up this morning. all the funny thoughts of being in this rat race is making me sick. everything we see is so so plastic! sobs. i don't like it. sigh. but yet i found myself being trapped in it at times. sigh. smtimes i wish God will just come and take me away altogether. there seems to be no other way out.

nthing substantial ever arise from convo with ppl ard me. its all abt BF, SEX, JOB, MONEY, INCOME, CLOTHES, BLAH. i am so so sick of it! yucks! sobs.

i just want to go back to the very basics.

i am so freaking bored at work. and its basically because i have nothing to do. sigh. smtimes i wish my wk will never stop so that 5.30 will be here before i know it. but i shall spend time to start mugging for my paper already. just flipped thru the past yr papers and its so bloody difficult. this time i think sure die. =X

on another note. i gt my result today for reading media text module. the module which i have so little confidence in, cos of sm screwups during presentation etc. but God, who was ever faithful gave me a distinction for it. got 78mks leh! what a joke right! highest among the 3 results i gt back so far. smtimes i think God is really humorous. so besides thanksgiving, it is still thanksgiving la.

hope i can keep up with the good work. if only i had study much harder since young. ugh. too late for regrets. nvm.

out for lunch with adel at clementi cos she wanted to get sm files fr big bookshop.but sold out. so just had lunch, her treat again. so nice. i feeling paiseh leh. i really did tried to pay but she always forbid me to. sigh. shall get her a big pressie when i say byebye worldkitchen.

its friday. but im nt as exhilarated as before. because...
1) it will come and go so fast, i don't even realise its existence
2) sucky proj mtg which i know will be super unproductive.

B.O.O.

then on thurs, classmate ask me help her buy sausage so i did. and its like she never even attempt to pay me back. sigh. honestly, its nt the money that mattered, but i just dont like this kinda "pai2kuan4" attitude. i think its a really ugly trait. and the other day when i bought water for her too. she just conveniently forgot cos she was on the phone. so now, once bitten, twice shy. i've learnt to play it smart.

but when i thought of all these, i rem smwhere in the bible where it goes like: if someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer yr left cheek to them too. i know im over-reacting/exaggerating. but yeah, at least i was the victim, and i was "cheated", not i cheat you.

its just a few dollars. i know. but this yucky character of yrs just turns me off. and also when u keep rattling abt yr life, abt yr bf, abt hw this guy is after u. honestly, yawns. bugger off. its nt like im jealous. but u are so self-centred. and the topic keeps revolving ard you. EWWWW. gross. am gonna put an end to all these!

colleague is gg to states. how i wish it was me.

i think my greatest dream ever, for now, is to travel. smwhr outta SEA. hopefully say America, Australia, Europe. and i will die happy.

but no worries, i know a dream's a dream, and the reason it remains a dream because a dream is something of an unreal beauty, charm, or excellence.

source: www.dictionary.reference.com/browse/dream

2 things that I told myself in the past week

1) I will not measure myself according to the standards that the world has set for me.
2) I will not allow anyone to hurt me.

food for thought eh, hmmm.

went for a haircut, looked the same as before. over to Raffles City to check our Shokudo, that marche concept Japanese Food Bazaar. but the queue was seriously crazy. So went to PS, had Ichiban, which ain't too nice. late dinner, had gastric, so even the yummiest of food wouldn't turn me on. HAHA.

Got a lift home, but it wasn't a pleasant end to the night. It's occuring too often. And i don't know what triggered me to react the way i did. sigh. instant guilt. its scary hw my mood changes within split seconds and then spillover effect to ppl whom i love dearly. Besides Sorry, its still SORRY.

classes tonight.what a dread,drag too. am so tired, perhaps i will give it a miss. bleah. I am so not in the mood!

was googling forums/blogs on Shokudo, and it does seem like they serve the loveliest of food there at affordable rates. damned, we shdve gone there ytd.

on another note, its thursday. shudders. scary how time flies.

mug hard June! (:

and one week later, the best friend is coming back! woots~! heehee. then i won't feel so lonely anymore. and then i can rant about anything and everything to her! my partner in crime!

anyhw, met with a nasty encounter on sat. it was definitely gross. yucks. scary too. thankfully had 8other classmates with me.

here the story goes:

We left a teammate's pad aft discuss our proj. so me and 7 other girls went off, all heading towards the MRT. we stopped along the street to grab some drinks before making our way to the MRT. i was walking in the front, and suddenly i heard this CHINESE AH JEK IN HIS FIFTIES on my right making some "noise", kinda ushering us towards his direction, since he was obviously trying to get our attention. and to my much horror/disgust, he was fiddling with his cock. it was hanging out and he was shaking it, wanting us to see!!! SCARY AND GROSS la! then 2 other girls saw it too, but the rest didnt. Little India sure is one hell of a scary place with MAD ppl! we contemplated calling the cops, but we didnt in the end. sigh. procrastination la. then we wanted to head back and all take out our cameras and start snapping pics of his bird. asshole!!!

super suay lor. i dont want anymore of such deals pls!

now twinnie and i sama sama liao. cos she met a flasher before too! LOL.

then on the very same day, i got 2 dresses, 2 pairs of shoes, and 2 skirts, all for the good deal of 53bucks! cheap or what?! hehhehs. and those things i gt were lovely!

but i shall quit being sucha shoppaholic.

on another note, church camp looks uber fun. they screened the slide show with a pic of times square and the image of twinnie and me on the roller coaster appeared at the back of my mind. fond memories it brought me. but sadly, most prob i can't make it cos of the exam on the last day of camp. sigh. saddening la. ): first time in 10yrs leh that i cant go for church camp.boo.

i want to jetset smwhere! wonder why i always feel so jealous upon receiving emails from the elf n pixie. just cant help but get jealous at the fact that they are having a gd time in sweden, and even have a chance to go jerusalem, bethlehem. blah. bleah. ):

the best friend has left for Haikou aka Hainan Island! my hometown too~! hehs.

and i miss her so! )':

back since she's nt around, I've got to be much more independent, cos I am relatively quite independent already, HAHA.

it's friday today, did u realise? don't u think the speed at which time flies is scary? sometimes i wish i had 36 or even 48 hours a day. i wonder how time escapes when we aint noticing.

proj mtg tmr and im so not looking fwd to it. just wanna quickly get it done and over with. hate all the conflicts and politics. eeks. why can't we all just work in harmony? sigh. but 9 girls is too crazy already. ohwells. i just want sunday to come la! so can relax & chill. hoping to play abit with Thaddeus and the other toddlers. perhaps i shall go get smthg nice for Thad! wheeee* at least i have smthg to look fwd to.

ok, gotta get my ass back to work already!

GOD is so good. He made me sooo busy with work such that time passses by so quickly and that i won't miss the best friend so much. (:

Maundy Thurs, Good Friday, Easter Sunday all came and gone. in a whizz! sadness now.

spent lazy fri at novena. once again, we jetset to a new place. and the cool thing was we attempted to walk back from novena to babe's hse. but towards the last leg, i was dead tired and so we took a bus. but we walked for a whopping 1.5hrs at least! what a feat!

lazy sat, wanted to do those chips dipped in choc, but as usual, we didn't succeed! HAHA. what's new? we're jinxed. so in the end we pack the room, and took out all the farnie clothes! and decided those that are going to the flea mart.

bad start to a day, but a good end to the night.

played for svc ytd and as usual, i screwed up once again. sigh. couldn't pass my own test, and so i broke down, yet again. but im fine now, will pick myself up and emerge stronger. am gonna let no one get me down.

had combined cell after, and topic was on sex. which kinda tickled me, hearing all the responses from the young ones. ! haha. so cute.

then we zipped to ridgewood for waffles and ice cream at Haato! new hangout place again.nice. but ice-cream and waffle was no show-stopping.

then zipped to Great World, park the car there, and we took a bus down to Paragon for Soup Spoon. i seriously think we spend too much on food. every meal seems to be so luscious and exp! we gotta start saving for rainy days! boo.

smtimes i get very blurred by the pack of dirty lies and secrets. i wish u would enlighten me.

the weekend was so short-lived! tsk.

i really enjoyed it! i really did!

pluck and summon all my courage, went to find bestie's pops at coffeeshop to hitch a ride home with them. thankfully, geoffrey was there to entertain me! HAHA. God has it all planned out nicely. i just want to try for u babe. and i promise i will work much harder. (: then afterwhich me, twin, and her mama went over to ikea for sm shopping! heehee. Mamasoo got a blender at a cheap deal, she seemed pretty exhilarated.! then we settled for dinna at Anchorpt! yummy pasta. cont shopping at the factory outlets there, got a top for mama! hee. and yeah, she liked it! and got another nice bag which was absolutely gorgeous! both twinnie and i loved it! and we gonna share share SHARE! (: went over to ikea only at 9pm, then walk ard till 11. got shot glasses, thought of making smthg nice for naomians for easter! also got the pretty white flower light! cos was gg at a song, only 7.90! then gt a nice laundry bag stand, gonna use it to store my bags and wrapping papers!


then saturday had music practice, then went brunch with twin and gracie. walked ard. then watched Rule #1 which wasnt too bad la. then had dinna the homed.

sunday was spent in town n city hall, filled with boisterous laughters, n great company! i laughed so much my stomach hurt! wakaka.. then had a spontaneous stayover at babe's plc. supposed to send me home but i decided to stay! lazy to get butt gg home. super farnie laughing matters while washing up too!! hahaaa.my partner in crime!

the above was drafted before lunch.

now after lunch, the feeling is entirely different.

my toothache is back.sobs. its the root canal coming back to haunt me once again. sigh. i really cant bear the thought of those endless sessions at the dentist, each time a painful experience. that is nthg. but the money to be spent is just too much for me to bear. sigh.w hy cant things be easier for me?

sobs.

once again, the weekend is here, right before my eyes. i waited forever for this day to come, but when it does, i'll let it slip past w/o even knowing it.

i wanted to be the editor for the magazine proj.but sm others jus self-volunteered. it's like yr english is so bloody lousy and u still wanna be editor? *rolls eyes. seriously, what is the world coming to? sigh. i know i might portray some kinda arrogant, ignorant, dominating bitch, but honestly all i wanted was for us to get a fantastic score for our proj! sigh. i really hope God wil make things wk. some titles they came up with for the food magazine are unbelievable. super stupid and lame. i mean, cmon, INTAKE as a title for food magazine? u seriously got to be kidding me. let's hope and pray they will like the ideas i have!

or mayb let's pray that God wil change me and make me a more cooperative person, less of myself and more of others. sigh. so confusing la! tsk. i hate it! GRRRR.

i need to catch up on my beauty sleep! have a blessed weekend girls! relish it while u can~!

XOXO, girl with endless unlaundered secrets* winks.

this is what i want. like NOW. grrr.

eeks! its monday. my most dreaded day of the week. hais.

decided to take 185 to wk today. cos it's only 1 stop from home to wkplc! can u believe it? just one stop! but must walk abit to jurong east to take. still, its darn fast but to my dismay, i waited 10+ mins for the bus! so was late! but only ard 10minutes. still, it means i have to go out earlier if i wanna take that bus. boohoo.

ytd we sang to our hearts content at kbox, so as to fulfill dot's wish. HAHA. no more kbox til 6mths later pls!

was feelg very pekchek,pissed n down during cell.s igh. i desperately need to find another cell. or even another church. i know i can blame no one for my spiritual dryness. but im really v tired towards this entire issue. sigh. perhaps its time i move on to better places where i can do greater things for God? hmmm.ugh. i don't know la, grrrr.

friday night at home. was eventful, even in that tiny little space. the brother, the mother. sigh. smtimes i wish she didnt give birth to him. real hateful thing. trust such words to come out fr his mouth. sigh. poor mama. i do hope God sees it and does smthg abt it. i dont like it when she gets hurt like that time n again.

its back to sch tmr. supposedly looking fwd to the module. but the thot of the proj > to produce a 64-page magazine is giving me the heebies jeeebiess already! ))):

i want the weekend!!! ))):

its the weekend today!

yesterday marks the 4th twinniversary! haha. yup. 3years and our psychic powers are brewing up a storm! heehee. had a very nice dinna at pasta cafe, courtesy to bestie. then we zoom zoom zoom to mustafa where she grab some food for stockup. stop having just oats babe.! conspiracy. u are ANOREXIC.

anw, as i was saying, its FRIDAY! friday leh! my fav day of the week can. cos we are so gg to mediacorp's wardrobe sale tmr! and theres breakie at macs, i do hope we can wake up.(haha) its just gonna be lazy and warm saturday out! i sure hope the sun will not fail us tmr. then we can perhaps go kayak with the elijahs! and snap! if m.mil cant make it today, i shall have a nice rest at hm first before heading over to babe's pad. anyhw, we tried us this really cute pjs from cotton on. made us look like we got pink measles! so cuteee~!

blessed wkend.

by afternoon, i learn to let go and let God, knowing that things are beyond my control. i learn not to take things too hard, i learn to forget unhappy things.

it felt funny having my pops over at the office cos they needed ma's help to tailor sm uniforms. haha. nice time showing them ard, introducing them to colleagues. hehs. feels strange at same time, but well, strangeness in a nice way.

was a bad morning la. damnit. gt onto the ever packed 189 with a million ppl in the bus. was standing all the way to the front and when the driver did a swerve, i lost my footing and stepped on smone. i pity that person. can u imagine having yr foot stomped by an elephant? ouch. that hurts.

and it doesnt get any better when i thot of things that made me unhappy. liar. who ain't a liar? smtimes i wish i can let go and see beyond, and let the good ride over the evil. the more i scoop, the more yummy stuff i discovered, but these yummy stuff are so cloying. i wish i hadnt even scoop them up in the first place.

and just when i was thinking abt u, u appeared. period.

its tootsday darling! and i thought it was monday. wakaka. cos i had monday off. which was shiokness, minus sucky fact tt i had to chiong my assignmt. thanks girl for helping me with it, sharing the burden as if its yr proj too. thanks. can nv thank u enough la. for staying up till 5plus in the wee hours with me. am thankful. wkend. zipped ard again in the cute little red button of franc, haha! went to Great World macs and spent hours on that dumb ass assignmt. bleah. afterwhich we saw leap years!! nice. so lomantick i tell u. sigh. but smwhat a dream la, as if such happen in reality. lazy sunday aft svc, hm again to pia the dumb assignmt. lazy monday, i took leave! shiokness man. then went submit assignmt (Like FINALLY) then to btp, had pizza! slurps.then went grocery shopping and damn we keep bumping into ppl we dont exactly wish to bump into. so we made a quick exit. wakaka. and i got some nice colorful bags! with stickers. happy leh. cheap thrills!!! but the going home part was scary. we bumped into smone whom kinda resembles what KASTARI might look like! prior to that when we were walking to the bus-stop, sm lady was like running to btp. and when we turn to look at him, he too, to our horror, turn back, stopped walking and stared at us! and he was clad in dark clothes, with a cap pulled over his eyes. scary. and kinda walking with a slight limp. ahhhhh. we couldnt really identify him, so didnt call the police. but he sure is scary.

sigh. i know im getting over-paranoid. but who can i blame? the fact that a terrorist is roaming the streets and can just appear anywhr with a bomb is driving me bonkers. i sure hope and pray he be caught soon. think i'll have nightmares with his face passing every nw and then. grrrr.

its back to work today, and 1 week of break before school starts again. am gonna make sure i party hard!

notice the updates and all? perhaps ive taken a liking to blogging. or maybe im too bored.

as i was walking up the stairs for lunch, the sunlight was unbelievable awesome. adel said: wah today's sun very strong eh". then suddenly i had this wish of being able to soak up the sun, to be out there, having fun, heading to the beach, heading to the pool. i really do miss those times where we could do such so freely. of cos i need to work and support myself, but boy do i wish for say a week of break! then again, its prolly 1 more mth(max) at world kitchen, and its byebye WK, hello happy days again. which also means tt i need to get a new job. hais. life really is a paradox. smtimes i dont even understand why the necessity for the passing of each day. ):

i had a great time of unwinding ytd. we zipped ard the sub-urbs, went for prata at Fongseng, went for indian rojak at west coast, nostalgic i tell u! miss my sec sch days already. )': then we rounded the trip off with a stop at west coast park. and we had so much fun there. ridding, sliding, climbing. and we actually saw FROGS amidst the sand! madness. 3, THREE FREAKING FROGS. scary leh! they were like camouflage, cant really spot them. was so scared i'd step on them. eeks. and RORO actually said they might be PRINCES in disguise. like wth. say if i kiss them mayb the frog will turn into a prince. that's what u'll get when u have frens reading too much into a fairytale. haha. WAKE UP! anyhw, there's an extra 2 frogs for u to choose from also. so there. we'll take 1 each and leave the remaining one alone.

on another note, i haven't get started for the project. and this time, im really really clueless as to whr to begin. cham already.

revival mtg. do hope i'll get sm sort of encouragement in a way. bye and have a blessed wk ahead.

may friday be here soon, lest i smell it! (: