one of those really bad days where things just dont fall in the right place, and you begin to ponder just how you are gonna sail thru the raging seas that came crashing unto you. So you begin to doubt, doubt the existence of yr life. i mean c'mon its just mid-wk, wednesday, and there are 4 more days before it comes to an end. feeling so helpless and theres no one there who helps. everyone's busy with their own lives i know, and i cant expect them to be ard forever. i know there's one who's always there. always. 24/7. but He's just too far away. and we've lost contact. for about a year. i know He's still there. He's always there. He promised. im the one who has left.

at my wits end. i really dont know what to do anymore. anyway, crying feels great. releases me of all my sorrows for the moment. perhaps getting drunk helps too. nah, maybe not.

w.e.p.t. buckets. and it's cuz of u.