.: 13 days and still counting :.

sigh. today was well... :( think im prob gonna go down to Parpia's to help ST.. kind of apprehensive yet i wanna go. just hope that i can clear finish all that i need to do by tomorrow. right now, im just looking forward to that weekend. that very much anticipated weekend. it seems to far away right now, and when it has just started, it had to end.

hate it when im pmsing, just feel so restless to do anything. and all the thots that i can harbour of are pretty much disheartening. im so tired. physically, spiritually, emotionally. sometimes i wish that i can just take a break and go somewhere where i can unwind and have all the time to myself. and sometimes i just dont know what i am doing. life seems to really be meaningless, cause there aint any goals or dreams set to be achieved. hanging down there, not knowing what to do next. baffled and angry about so many things, and how they always struck me, leaving me with unanswered answers. all i do is to blame, is to point my fingers, is to choose to shut my ears, zip my mouth, and blind myself.

i hate it when i see people sinking deeper and deeper, yet i cannot and dont know how to pull them up to safety. i let them sink, further and further, pretending that i do not know anything at all. sometimes i tried. so many times. too many times and both parties get tired. i guess we all have a choice to what we want. He gave us the freedom to choose. but often, He's not in the picture at all.

and if u think u can change anything just by yourself, u are so wrong. so very wrong. wake up. please. i dont wanna see u get hurt anymore. u deserve more.