cheryl babes me n eve babes

me n chers

me n eveee

laugh out loud.

i see monkeys

spastic lol

6th May

it was a bad saturday nite. and a bad sunday morning. crying bad in the cab on my way to church. sometimes i dont understand why i allow myself to get so emotional. i hate it when im feeling that way but i cant help it. sometimes i need to be slapped awake, so that i'll stop living in my own solitary world but open my eyes wide to see whats happening around me.

im feeling so sick now. mucus has been flowing non-stop since i got hm. feeling hot one moment, and not so hot one moment. couldnt wake up fr my nap. sigh. sob i dont wanna go work tommorrow... i dont want. dont want dont want dont want.

coward. i hate cowards. get the hell out of my life cuz the very look of u disgust me.

cut my hair for like 65bucks. couldnt believe it also. it was a scam.lol. but nvm. just this once. a lil too much for me but i guess what done's done and cannot be undone. i look like shit. thanks babe fer accompanying me. :)

gr8 fun bitching today with jess liz adel ana eve n glen. bitch bitch bitch and bitch all night long. haaa funs. u guys really rock aha

and btw did i ever ever tell u that im damn pissed with people who cant spell proper? esp when u wanna spell oops, u spell it as opps. fuck's sake dont use the word when u cant even get the spelling right.

99 out of 100 guys are assholes. and that only 1 who's nt is gay.

i see your true colours.

.: 5 days & no longer counting :.

life's like a paradox. u have been anticipating for a long time for smthg to end, but when it nears u are reluctant to let go of it.

yes im no longer counting. cuz i cant bear to let it go. somehow. the people. the place.

was scaring myself thinking how frightening dinner will be since we'll be sitting with the boss etc. turns out tt we didnt have to, so rach joe beee n me were on a table. and we were at straits kitchen at hyatt! isnt that niceee, hahaaa... cool place with cool svc and all, just that i thot it was a bit duh to go have buffet which serves local food. then i checked the price out and it was 38bucks/pax, plus gst etc will round up to 44 bucks. oh my. haaaa only the rich can afford this kinda thing man. lol. still i had fun, just tt photo-taking was rather awkward.

aft which we went ta watch amityville of horror.. anyway it was a short show, and nt worth that money laa, cuz the ending was like not much. hse of wax will be freakier i think. albert was being funny thruout the whole show laaa, cuz he was scared also, plus kept making stupid jokes P.S he didnt meant to be funny, but cuz he's fr china, everythg he says will send me n joe rolling on the floor.. spastic. he asked me if i wanna have dinner with his fren. wtf la u think match-making session meh? lol. think he just want a free dinner. hell i was a lil mad yet find the whole situation a lil runny la. nvm.

joesephine is so niceee. seriously she is so kind and helpful and i think she'll nv step on an ant.

and yes that woman was stalking me. oh my. called me and say she saw me. i was asking her where the hell are u man but she didnt answer my question, haaa. then i saw her when i left lido, lol... wake up your idea twin.

yay yay its SATURDAY!!! lovely!

.: 6 days and still counting :.

some people say lotsa things, but they dont practice what they preach. so they left me confused.

hse of wax is pure gruesome, and this woman (supposedly to be my fren but decided to change her identity to the w o m a n) beside me kept screaming. alamak. i was so paiseh can. every single part of it was really fear provoking and there wasnt a moment when i can have peace. and this asshole who lean back a great distance and my knee had already touched his seat w/o barely stretching my legs. darn. and this dumb ass taxi driver who no1) said i told him the wrong place 2) said i didnt tell me i was gg 2 places. was liike hello i tried and u were answering yr stupid call, and u didnt even listen carefully so dont give me all this shit can? lol.

anyway great meet up with evilt. lol... wish can spend more time like tonite tog, before she gets attached.. lol.. and yes im probable gonna _____ ____ ___. cuz i think that is what He has in stored fer me?

i need to wake up my idea. dont know why im behaving this way. smthg must be wrong somewhere out there. hmmm what is it. i need to step out of it and cut myself fr such silly thots.

.: 7 days and still counting :.

felt so stupid and pissed when my 75 scurried off right infront of my eyes when i turned away to sneeze. haaa how dumb can i get. so over lunch she asked me if bh knows bout the dinna on fri, and i said, erm actually i wasnt inform abt it in the first place.. and she was like oh sorry sorry. -.-' how can u celebrate a farewell w/o me n bh?! duh right. when we're the VIPs... haaa..nvm.. so its confirmed, we're gg to hyatt on fri.. muahahaha im over the moon. lets just hope that i'll have fun k

and yes im mtg my sweets tmr, i hope, at least!

ok im off ta dreamland. what to do. i need gd rest. lol.

.: 8 days and still counting :.

so i thot i was gg to help sophia tmr, turn out tt i'll be helping SP. -.-' how scary can that get. oh oh. butterflies in my stomach now. but i know shes nothing like the 2 ah nei bitches. just tt i hope she wont ask me ta do a/c stuff cuz im really bad at that.

throat feels scratchy, have been downing water the whole day. went to the loo for the umpteen time! haaaaas.. and each time its like a mini waterfall.. but all the drinking doesnt seem to help, ugh. yay yay yay wed soon, how fast. anyway if theres a farewell party for us on fri, why are we the last to know? aint she afraid that we'll already have progs line up for the nite? weird eh. she probably assume tt we die die have to turn up since its meant for us. just know tt its some buffet at hyatt hotel? lol.. cant help grinning to myself.. but i just dont like her laaa.. so loud and dominating. everyone is entitled to their own freedom of speech right, and nt subjected to anyones criticisms.

anyway i didnt lunch with them today ha. cuz she doesnt make me feel at ease. can feel her eyes on me, haaa. mayb im just being sensitive.. anyway thank God for Rachel the new attachmt student who accompanied me elsewhere fer lunch hee cuz beeee went ta meet her frens. didnt do much today. not productive at all.. was trying ta look busy and all, hahaaaa.. just kept staring into space, yawns.. feeling sickish perhaps..

just 8 more days and i'll be back at school!!! cant wait, really.. cant believe im saying this cuz im forever lamenting on how sianing sch is. but right now, i just cant wait to go back. sch's definitely better than work. definitely. lol.

i think God is cute. hahaaaa.. he's really funny u know... just what i think, and what He showed me.. amusing...

this jy is so irritating, but in a way which i dont hate but find it funny.. haaaa.. keeps calling me name in cantonese every now and then.. haaa.. siew gai.. thanks huh.. think he's gonna miss me!!! muahaha... in a da ge ge and xiao mei mei way.. haaa.. dont misunderstand.. cuz im like sitting btw him n eve? and i can get really lame at times and make them laugh. haaaaaaaahaha.

please say a prayer fer me that i wont screw things up tmr k. thanks. :)

sleep with me.

yes. its that time of the night. on a more precise note, its that time of the sunday night.

i believe there is a rebellious streak in each and every one of us. i think mine is beginning to show. but heck, who cares. anyway thanks glen, for that juicy update. just dont understand why people go fucking around at such a young age. call me conservative but i dont give a damn. all they can think of is sex sex sex and sex everyday. and so now shes in preggers, i oughta congratulate her, really..

am feeling really perplexed. sigh. feeling heavy-hearted nowadays. have been wearing a mask for a long time, i wanna to take it off, but i guess it's hard. wish things will have a better turn soon. i have no mood for anything now really. just speculating. dont wanna think too much and get hurt. no point. and its all not worth it. so not worth it at all.

and what a gloomy day it was. hope i dont bring it over to the brand new week which i already feel will not be good. haha what krapps right. nvm. things havent been in good shape for a long time and im seriously beginning to wonder when all these shit will ever come to an end.

life is definitely fragile. :'(

i just need that little bit of _____________.

.: Happy Mother's Day :.

another gimmick just for florists and giftshops and eateries to make big bucks. anyway it shouldnt just be mamas day for that one day. but infact all day, all weeks, all months, and all years round. why. cuz mothers are just so wonderful, they deserve to be treated like queens every other day. but i always take mine for granted. was so pissed with her for worrying this and that. i mean hello im 19 this year, not 8, not 12, not 16, but 19. i just need that bit of freedom more, is that too much to ask? well nvm.

thursday is my free day. how happy. at least for the next semester. isnt it gr8.

i just wanna have fun.

.: 10 and still counting :.

liquid rm out. nah nah dont like it at all. didnt even expect to go chiong.. thot wil just chill out at soundbar. but in the end... didnt wanna argue with her lah. and she was smoking. wth, so disappointed. wil prob nv go back there again. dinna with the babes was basically a bitchfit session. lol. funs. and we took tons of silly pics. pat n yj's over at my hse.. but think they gg back soon. ugh i need a wink. badly.

.: 11 days and counting :.

thurs cmg to an end, which means its frifrifriyay. am gonna meet up with 2 babes fer dinna n then followed by liquid rm with pat&co. mayb only lah. mayb. yes have been really looking forward to this. really. friday means so much when u are working. ever since i started attachment, i realised how precious each and every weekend is, and how i swear to enjoy every single moment of it with my loved ones..

got a piece of shocking news from mei today.. uncle ben passed away cuz of stroke.. which really struck me deeply.. just saw him on sunday and he was still looking great and all.. sigh, cant believe it. now that he was sick or smthg.. he just seems so healthy, and all of a sudden, he's gone. well what can i say.. guess we had better live each day to the fullest, and as if its our last day on earth. sometimes i just cant comprehend what God is up to. im seriously confused. sure He has His plans. but what?

.: 13 days and still counting :.

sigh. today was well... :( think im prob gonna go down to Parpia's to help ST.. kind of apprehensive yet i wanna go. just hope that i can clear finish all that i need to do by tomorrow. right now, im just looking forward to that weekend. that very much anticipated weekend. it seems to far away right now, and when it has just started, it had to end.

hate it when im pmsing, just feel so restless to do anything. and all the thots that i can harbour of are pretty much disheartening. im so tired. physically, spiritually, emotionally. sometimes i wish that i can just take a break and go somewhere where i can unwind and have all the time to myself. and sometimes i just dont know what i am doing. life seems to really be meaningless, cause there aint any goals or dreams set to be achieved. hanging down there, not knowing what to do next. baffled and angry about so many things, and how they always struck me, leaving me with unanswered answers. all i do is to blame, is to point my fingers, is to choose to shut my ears, zip my mouth, and blind myself.

i hate it when i see people sinking deeper and deeper, yet i cannot and dont know how to pull them up to safety. i let them sink, further and further, pretending that i do not know anything at all. sometimes i tried. so many times. too many times and both parties get tired. i guess we all have a choice to what we want. He gave us the freedom to choose. but often, He's not in the picture at all.

and if u think u can change anything just by yourself, u are so wrong. so very wrong. wake up. please. i dont wanna see u get hurt anymore. u deserve more.

.: Happiness is short-lived :.

topsy turvy weekend altogether. a little bit too much for me to take, but im sure God will never give us more than we can ever bear. pretty much a depressing holi, but i sure had my share of fun. sure hate to see closed one in tears, but at least i know we're there for one another no matter what happens. hang in there girlie, like what u said, things will be better tmr! so sorry abt the subjects mentioned.. sure aint easy for all of us, but take heart that God's in charge!

and was damn pissed with the fuggly asshole who kept turning his head over and stare at us in the bus. it wasnt once or twice, but countless times. and it was so obvious, just feel like kicking him down there and make sure he'll nv be called daddy. not that things werent bad enough. and to top it off, im burnt. and im losing my voice. ugh. screw it.

sometimes i wish i can just disappear into the thin air.

spent my day with my twinnie! like how nice, how happy! except for the fact that our movie tics got screwed up. and we took neoprints!!! hahas. double grins. and oh my i saw a pair of birkies which i really really love. oh my. oh my. its pink with red lips on it. totally adorable. 99 buckeroos. i want i want i want. but my twin said i shouldnt. hmm prolly cuz she'd get it fer me? anyway its size 38. u know it, dont hide it. lol.