yes!!! PEANUT SOUP!

SESAME GLUTINOUS BALLS!!! HAHAHAHA

err yeah, thats the chef, MAGGIE RING TAN!

YUMMY NEH!

ABRACADABRA!!! our end product, all whipped up by MAGGIE TAN!!!

fri 17.06

was a gd day i tell u. except for the fact that i want but, nvm. nice lunch treat from eve n sijie. thanks girls, i feel gd, getting such special treats even after my birthday, lol.

went town with my girlie today. we had crystal jade la mian for dinner. it tasted like heaven lol. we shd do this more often. i love the xiaolongbaos. heh.

walk around and there're a truckload of things which i wanna get. the canada fox top, the chupa chups pouch, the donut tee. Ahhhhhh.

anyway, girlie's fren andy is a pretty boy. really pretty. so pretty im jealous.

some gd news.. our ice-cream proj gt shortlisted for the competition, which means we get to present our biz plan to a panel of judges nxt sat! hahaa and yes we are representing Ngee ann. oh pls, what krapps. if we win, we get money!! haha.. im nt greedy la. since there are just 6 places, i dont mind getting the 6th prize. lol. we must win, GLEN LIZ JESS we MUST win. hehs.

p.s thanks jess for the watch, liz for the doraemon lamp, eve n sijie for the earrings, and ana for the earrings too. love em all! (:

some peeks to feast yr eyes tmr perhaps.

oki so this is official. im 19! whether i like it or not, im 19! 19, 19 NINETEEN! lol... come to think of it, its scary how i got messages telling me to enjoy my last yr of teenage, haaa, like turning 20 is some freaky issue! haha..

no 12am celebrations, sob. haaa.. wishful thinking.. hee.. anyway no celeb today, just lunch with papa mama.. after which the psychic powers came.. except that i didnt chop it off.. thank God it wasnt disastrous. weird. think humans like ta do silly things to their hair on their bdays. lol.

just wanna mention these people here:

JESSELYN
GLEN
EVELYN
PATRINA
JOSHUA
DOROTHY
BEE HAR
GINNY
XUEYING
NICHOLAS
GRACE
HOCK SOON
SHARON
MAGGIE
PHOEBE
CHERYL
DONN
ANA
EUNICE
PEARLIE
PEIYU
ADELINE
AUDREY
ELIZABETH
SIJIE

thank u so much for remembering my birthday! love u all! (:

and to think i spend my bday rushing on a silly project. sigh. wasted.

*19th birthday celebration. - 12th june*

i had a gr8 birthday surprise from my darlings this year. it was a conspiracy. they asked maggie and sharon to ask me out so that they can prepare for the potluck party at my house. and i was pleasantly surprised. really touched. they hid in the corner and jumped out and shouted SURPRISE! once i stepped into the house. so sweet right. and there was a birthday cake with 19 candles on it waiting for me!!

and they sang the birthday song fer me, after which i made a wish and blew the candles. sweet. and it was chocolate fudge and banana cake from awfully chocolate. and it was really nice, with the words happy birthday abia in minty green icing. thought it looked fabulous.

and there was a whole table of yummilicious food. there's spaghetti, baked potatoes, salad, 2 whole chickens with interesting stuffing, finger food and a nice grass jelly drink! so much food
we couldnt finish them. haha!

then i had a fun time opening my presents. theres the green waikiki dorothy perkins tote from Grace, the origins pinch your cheeks blusher from Dot, Eu, Xy, Mag and Sharon. theres the nice bluish butterfly bag from happy house from Nick and Audrey. and also the other pink princessy happy house bag from Hock Soon and Brigitte. my Twinnie also gave me the 'Being Happy' book and the biggie curly hair cap to be placed on top of pen/pencil. she said the hair was supposed to change color but till now it didnt. hee... sweet sweet sweet. thanks guys, u all really know what i like. hee.. love them all!

but of course the pressies werent what i really love. it was the effort that these people put in that truly truly warmed my heart. they never fail to bring joy and happiness to my life.

________________________________________________________________

>>some quotations fr replied smses aft i thank them>>

________________________________________________________________

Haha... welcome.. don be so moody le, there ish so many people who cares and are concern about you.. Haha..

Hee twinnie, u r d darling in our eyes, surely we'll try to put in our best for u. Anythin to make u happy. Celebrating yr bday was no way a chore, everyone did it with their love for u. Hee. Really. I think its impt tt we cherish all the times we get 2 spend tog. Tho camp wasnt as fun this yr, im already missing those times of being cranky w u. Haaa. But fr nw i'll behave, as promised. Love ya in all ways my favourite girl-abia-pig-twin-shiao eh! :)

You are welcome. 3 more days to go b4 yr actual day. Happi b'day out dear sister in Christ.

U are most welcome! Hope u have a great time. Happy Birthday once more.

You're most welcome. Actually its a show of how much u mean to us n how much u are loved. u need not be depress, u are never alone. God bless and Happy Birthday. :-)

Yo, gd morng! I juz woke up, so shiok. :D guessed tis could be e 1st birdsday u rece'd so many bags as presents rite?! Happi using!! (",)

hee we def wud celeb 4u one la, u sucha dear sister to us! believe and rememeber that k! but paiseh i had to leave early, hope u guyz had nice time after.

u have grown n matured girl. fr yr gut to confront yr fear and to voice yr tots and appreciation during camp to being sensitive bout how others feel and no longer taking things for granted. its simply heart warming. so nice to watch u grow. it juz makes me tear, fr what u wrote n feel to things we did that i reminise abt d past. u've left a deepest footprint. Gosh and aint it amazing babe. We can only do these thru Him n w love. Cheers to more of such great time together yae twin. Muckzz!

___________________________________________________________________

just want to appreciate all these people. thank u so much for making my life so much more worth living. and this is possible because of God who love each and everyone so so much. u guys rock my life and i can nv thank u enough. i can just thank God for the works that He has done in yr life, and that he will continue to bless all of u in all u do! thank u so much for loving me. :)

and to my twin, thanks so much for everythg, despite u being so sick and all. thks for waking up so early to go to the mkt, and to drive here and there, rush here and there. thank u.

dorothy
nicholas
sharon
eunice
audrey
maggie
grace
brigitte
ethan
xueying
hawk
bryan

i just need time to recollect my thoughts.

do u think we will still hang out together shall one of us not go to church anymore?

i refused to even think about it.

and frankly speaking, i hate this kind of question. it makes me sad. :'(

it is the eleventh hr. literally the eleventh hr, and i've yet to pack my stuff. sigh. i must say somehow im nt too keen abt camp this year. mayb its the unhappiness earlier, mayb its the place, mayb its the ppl who aint gg, mayb its the time, mayb this mayb that. infact, there is actually a tinge of reluctance.

something is just different. i cant quite express it.. some sort of depression that always sink in before camp. haaa.. this yr's just different. cant help feeling this way. feel so mad all of a sudden. arghhh.
_____________________________________________________________

i dont understand why some people behave in that way. seriously. hate it when people take me for granted. damn u. go to hell, plastic.

why do i always make the wrong choice?

things will never be the same again.

.: counting down ta camp:.

as much as i can still recall, camps were always superb. and it was thru camp that i get to know God, as well as all my wonderful darlings... it was sort of a turning pt for me, knowing that i needed God.. and that was when i started to go church, and to grow in faith.. camps were almost always gr8, cuz the whole family's like having a get together, in a relaxing and comfy environment where u can just let yr hair down. every year's camp taught me different lessons, and i am indeed thankful to God for that.

i hadnt missed a single camp trip ever since i first when, and this yr's the 7th time which im gg. scary eh, know im always saying this, but time really flies. had been bunking with gracie fer the past 6 times, but this year, she has decided to forsake me. sobs. but still, i had gr8 gr8 fun bunking with her all these while, haha... most unforgettable time was when we had both overslept, really overslept and when we had finally wake up, it was time to pack our bags and leave! and the dumb phone had to be faulty at tt time. ugh. so embarrassing can. and another time was when we were given wrong allocation of room, and had to like knock 3 wrong doors before getting to our right room! haaa... and there was one uncle who came and answered the door, wrapped in just a white towel. -.-' but seriously shes full of rubbish la, and i can gather that her all time fave activity at such camps is to boil water. haaaa.. with her around, u will never, i promise never die of thirst. wahaa! and so what im gonna say is, ah mei i will miss u bad over there.. :'(

some pics posted below. enjoy.

___________________________________________

shd the marketing tutors/lecturers cont to cancel tutorials/lectures, i am gonna.. i am gonna. go mad. cuz theres too much time and i aint doing anythg constructive. Arghhh.

and the dining area, i hope!

the bowling alley

the pool

the roomie..

erm another part of living rm?

the living room...

yes accomodation fer this yr's camp is like a villa.. 4 units in it.. haa..

the feeling of anticipation...

i had always loved sundays, cuz each of everyone of them just deemed precious to me. but i dont like the sacarsm. hate it. dont ever give it to me. please. dont want anymore of it. hurt.

i admit i've grown to be nonchalant. i have learnt to act blur, instead of doing what i should. cuz thats the way to keep life going yeah, and also the way to survive in this cruel world. knowing too much doesn not help much anyway.

somehow i feel that i shouldnt be in it. cuz i dont think the same, feel the same as you do. and u cant expect me to change to think and feel like you do. cuz its just impossible. yeah u get the picture.

and yes i changed skin again. kinda feels that it suits the --> me <-- now.

4 more days to camp. sooo looking forward to it, but just feel sad that it'll be gone in a flash. so, i will make sure i have zillions and gallons of fun there! hope to mend & restore some broken relationships too... wanna be a step closer to God too. have been neglecting Him for a few yrs. i wanna make sure i be good too. cuz its hard to live with 8 people under 1 roof. pray that i will nt complain, nt grumble, nt pick on things, nt get irritated, but to live with peace, love and joy with suaty fish mag sharon ruth esther and my twinnie! pray for me yeah, cuz i realised i can be really irritating at times. hahaaa.. and i feel like slapping myself on many occasions.

today i scared my twin silly by bluffing her tt my passport expired already and that i can't go. the look on her face simply amused me, and she suggested packing me in her pockets/luggages/chopping me up at put me in her bags/teleport/ whatever deem fit. crackpot.

isnt this nice! our sweet surprise for junie from bee pea n me! haaa.. we're supposed to be her stalkers. heh. how lame huh. hahaa.. anyway the pressie's really nice k.. its a musical box with a ballerina dancing to the tune of amazing grace.. how lovely.. :)

life's a contrary old bitch.

isnt it gr8 that the weekend's here to stay already. feels awesome. my week was. well... indescribable feeling. life is still pretty much breezy. i dont want to allow myself to feel any form of stress. not when i havent had any hols break since last nov.

so much unhappiness that i want to rant it out here. but somehow it just dawned on me that it wouldnt be too safe. so i guess i shd just keep them to myself. dont wanna subject myself to any unnecessary ridicule/comment. not that i have received any so far. haaaa..

easily distracted nowadays, very much lost in my own world. life's full of disappointments. and promises are always made to broken. what i need to really do now is to look on the bright side. yeah, easier said than done.

sharon drove us to holland and gave us a treat on wed. essential brew is a niceee place. i like. :)

and 6 more days to camp. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. just 6. i want to go horse-riding.

my darling twinnie & meeeeeee :)

we need to learn how to embrace and live life happily.

smell the flowers!

keep smiling

happie

smile again!

smiles!

shock! the man in red behind looks a bit eh, gay hor.. haaa

:P

now the sorrowful look

spastic pout hee.. in the busride hm

haha.. my twin and her new hair.. lol..

so niceee right. i like... :)

monday 30.05 and yup thats the gerbera.. :)

hee thats the necklace i got her. i want.

and then we went to great world cityy.. :)

hee my girlies

okies a grp pic in auds office.. hee

and so here's the birthday girl with her 'cake' haaa

clearer view of the tutti fruittis.. marshmallow MIA

the choc fondue we made on sunday.. looks yummy right..

happie 25th twinnie!

shall stop delving abt my unhappy past, cuz im pretty sure everyone is tired already. i am too. and no i dont like to talk abt sch. so lets talk abt happy stuff. :)

today is my sweets 25 bday... :)

a lil miscomm cuz she thot she had sent me the msg, but no, i didnt receive it! so i thot oh ok, so we aint mtg. alright then if thats the case.

but at 6pluspm she sms and asked if wanna meet. haha.. yes and so we did! lol.. was thinking i shd get her flowers or smthg and so in the end i got her a gerbera! so niceeee! its in a nice shade of pink! haha.. realised i dont like sunflower anymore. ewwww.. no. no. no sunflowers. gerbera=daisies=i like.

so we had niceee dinner at pasta cafe. thanks dearie for the treat and the movie too! hee we caught madagascar and it was so cuteee! somehow we can relate to it, cuz of the wakey wakey, and the kukus! lol.. she=marty, and me=alex! hahass..

and yes, my dear twin shed her locks. omg. was simply stunned when i saw her. speechless. darn different. oh my.. haha.. and she got streaks on her hair. and oh *slaps forehead* she went to do the _______________. there is just one word, and only one word to describe her.

vainpot

sometimes it is just awesome when God changes His people to be more like Him. im beginning to see it, and im happy. for that person. grins. its been a blessing.

shall put up some peeks tmr.

i know she wasnt very much in the mood fer a birthday celebration today. but anyway we did it, and yes we succeeded in making the choc fondue. *claps* i thought it tasted good, lol. anyway i hope my twin's happieee. i mean really happiee.. cuz we aint happy people. nt for now. :(

in actual fact, im ___ring. yet again. ARGHHH.

God promises rainbow after the rain. today i saw the rainbow. somehow He just showed it to me. and yes, i was awed, and i thank Him for His faithfulness. He has shown that He cares, and that all things will be made good because of Him. He taught me that as long as we have that trust in Him, He'll make our paths straight. how true. :)

i havent done what i ought to do, and time is definitely not on my side. ugh. HELP!!! ran out of ideas already. hmmm. nvm. keep it simple & sweet.

i gave the shoe fair a miss. sobs.

http://feelingofmagic.friendtest.com -----> take the quiz fer me yeah? thankss..

there are 7 colors in the rainbow.

red orange yellow green blue indigo violet

http://feelingofmagic.friendtest.com

for 2 years i've never felt like this before. never. not until this day when the fact is starting to sink in. tomorrow will be a better day?
yeah riigghhtttt.

stop crying.

stop wallowing in self-pity.

cuz it so aint gonna help.

wake up my idea.

22.may.sunday

been a long time since I was really happy. and i mean really happy. life has been somewhat gloomy for the past few months, but it was different yesterday. It is amazing when you think of the kind of people that God have planted in your life.

Pouring out all our woes together and drowning them in ice-cream was definitely nice. Even though we were a little depressed, but still we know that God will definitely make all things beautiful in His time.

Thank God for blessing me with someone who is so dear to my heart, and that we can just connect and share everything with mutual understanding that is so strong even tho we're years apart. And I know we'll tide through good and bad times together with Him. And yes I've injected cheer into her grind, at least that's what she told me! shiao eh twinnie. and thanks darl fer e sweet messages, cuz it warmed & melted my heart, heehee... shiao eh twinnie.

late suppers and early morning at shopping at mustafa was gr8 too with nick aud eu suat twin me. =)

23rdmay.

hell. my tooth aches like mad. and no it is not wisdom tooth. its the root canal issue again. and so i found myself weeping buckets, first time sobbing so much ever since e hell wk of attachment, cuz it is so freaking scary, and i dont want to waste that money. sobs. and i only got 1 more painkiller left to last the whole night til tomo.how can it be possible, when i just had 1 at 6 and the pain is beginning to come back now? oh God please save me from all these agony. please. going to cry myself to sleep tonight. ='(

useless me always crying. big baby. grow up and get a grip.

sometimes i just feel like telling a person straight in the face whatever i find stupid/disgusting/irritating about the person. yet i cant bring myself to do it, cause i know that it will very much jeopardise the friendship/relationship. some people are just so unlovable. sigh. if you don't like something, that's your problem. but you cant possibly expect me to dislike that something/someone. and i cant imagine having to live with you. nooooooo way. dont expect me to change for you.

bbq was gr8.or rather the gathering was gr8. am thankful fer all my uncles, aunties, cuzzies, cuzzies' kids. i love it when we get to meet up once in a while.. and i really love each and everyone of the kids, cuz they are simply adorable. and seeing them play together warms my heart. hee.
shall post the snaps tmr.

oh well, mixed feelings la. to sum it all, its just bittersweet. all things, good or bad, will have to come to an end. sweet cos no more waking up at 7 and taking the 1hr busride, bitter cuz i have to say goodbye to people who have been so nice to me ever since day1. can't really bear to leave the place. it's like u have already developed feelings for the people, the place. and just when u have settled down in the new environment, you got to get yr butt out and go back to sch. what can i say? life's like that.

and sklai is so nice, gave us extra 80 buckeroos as a token of appreciation. was surprised when i was called to go in, thank God BH was there also. anyway, think SK's quite nice la, haaa.. kinda lame.. anyway he invited us to join SKLai shd we wanna do audit/acc. lol. and miss lee got us a bracelet. so scchhwweeet. sigh. shes so nice, yet she's nt married, and it feels to me that she lead a rather sheltered life. hope that she will stay happy always.

anyway, glad they liked and enjoyed the cookies, hee. i did basically nothing today, lol.. SP was supposed to get me some stuff ta do, but she didnt come in, so i just stared into the screen the whole time, lol. feeling a little lost right now. cant seem to absorb the fact that attachmt's over. and sch is on its way. but im definitely looking forward to sch. and wong wai mun called me.. mktg people pls attend the lectures nxt wk, cuz got briefing etc. krapps la. lol.

feel so shagged right now. so looking forward to that trip to slumberland. and yay, bbq at chalet tmr. gonna be a gr8 gathering. eyelids are beginning to droop already, ta ta!

yes i made a big mess outta the cookies. ugh. and lots are burnt. damn it. wasted. but nvm, managed to pack 15 bags. am gonna give it to em tmr, hahas. thanks bee for the help! so tired now. still got tons of things to clear, but think wil just ask my mama to clean it, hee..

yup 1 more day. just 1 more day, and thats the end of my attachment. like what i always say, time flies at warped speed. somehow its spooky, cuz things are happening way to fast.

2 treats this wk. 1 by sophia, the other one by the rest. thank u guys.

isnt it weird.last day of attachment. i oughta be celebrating. but yet i've got no programs lined up over the wkend. i mean more of fri night. nvm. mayb i shd just go shopping with abia.lol.

lame twin ask me ta go do this draw a pig test. here are my results

Toward the middle, you are a realist.

Facing front, you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.

With few details, you are emotional and naive, they care little for details and are a risk-taker.

With less than 4 legs, they are insecure or are living through a period of major change.

The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are.
The bigger the better. You drew medium sized ears, you are a good listener

u know what? i think the results are pretty accurate.

http://drawapig.desktopcreatures.com/draw.asp

go on. dont be shy. try it.

chers i aint too sure also. lol. will tell ya when i c u? lol.. try ask eve

:: letting go ::

yes i am pretty much unpredictable. yet sometimes i beg to differ on that. sigh. havent been feeling well.. blocked nose since mon, and voice have turned hoarse, a lil feverish and was caught in the rain a couple of times. ughs.

and yes 2 more days. 2 more days to bye bye SKLai. am gonna miss the peeps, the place. they've been really nice all along. ever since day 1.. always helping me when i needed it, offering me sweets, helping me to solve some wk problems, helping me do this do that, bringing me ard to diff places fer lunch, etc etc. this would have all been impossible w/o Him.

and yes a brand new start of a new sch yr. sigh. wonder what is gonna happen next. but i'll be anticipating it. sch is definitely better than work. lol. and haha eve, thanks fer the update. there will be 1, yes 1 GUY in my class. how fpathetic is that? no new eye candies, sobs. lol.

im so looking forward to camp, mainly bcuz i'll be bunking with evilt. lol. i'll make sure i'l bring all my props, pliers, superglue, big bottle of perfume, clock, radio, doll etc etc. gonna have a gd time freaking her out, simply by switching off the lights, muahaha... just pray that she doesnt bombard me with her silly questions like what she did the previous time, making me so traumatised. haaaa... she's just pure silly. but seriously 3d2n is way too short. cuz it'll be over b4 u even know it. but im happie that my papa+mama gg as well. but think i gotta pay my own fees. wt.

some things used to matter so much to me in the past. but somehow right now, it doesn't seem that important anymore. a little bit sad tho, but i've learnt to get over it. u cant always have the best of both worlds. sometimes we just have to let go. though it is fpain.

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be

When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart
What lies ahead
Will we have rainbows
Day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be

Now I have Children of my own
They ask their mother
What will I be
Will I be handsome
Will I be rich
I tell them tenderly

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
Que Sera, Sera

cheryl babes me n eve babes

me n chers

me n eveee

laugh out loud.

i see monkeys

spastic lol

6th May

it was a bad saturday nite. and a bad sunday morning. crying bad in the cab on my way to church. sometimes i dont understand why i allow myself to get so emotional. i hate it when im feeling that way but i cant help it. sometimes i need to be slapped awake, so that i'll stop living in my own solitary world but open my eyes wide to see whats happening around me.

im feeling so sick now. mucus has been flowing non-stop since i got hm. feeling hot one moment, and not so hot one moment. couldnt wake up fr my nap. sigh. sob i dont wanna go work tommorrow... i dont want. dont want dont want dont want.

coward. i hate cowards. get the hell out of my life cuz the very look of u disgust me.

cut my hair for like 65bucks. couldnt believe it also. it was a scam.lol. but nvm. just this once. a lil too much for me but i guess what done's done and cannot be undone. i look like shit. thanks babe fer accompanying me. :)

gr8 fun bitching today with jess liz adel ana eve n glen. bitch bitch bitch and bitch all night long. haaa funs. u guys really rock aha

and btw did i ever ever tell u that im damn pissed with people who cant spell proper? esp when u wanna spell oops, u spell it as opps. fuck's sake dont use the word when u cant even get the spelling right.

99 out of 100 guys are assholes. and that only 1 who's nt is gay.

i see your true colours.

.: 5 days & no longer counting :.

life's like a paradox. u have been anticipating for a long time for smthg to end, but when it nears u are reluctant to let go of it.

yes im no longer counting. cuz i cant bear to let it go. somehow. the people. the place.

was scaring myself thinking how frightening dinner will be since we'll be sitting with the boss etc. turns out tt we didnt have to, so rach joe beee n me were on a table. and we were at straits kitchen at hyatt! isnt that niceee, hahaaa... cool place with cool svc and all, just that i thot it was a bit duh to go have buffet which serves local food. then i checked the price out and it was 38bucks/pax, plus gst etc will round up to 44 bucks. oh my. haaaa only the rich can afford this kinda thing man. lol. still i had fun, just tt photo-taking was rather awkward.

aft which we went ta watch amityville of horror.. anyway it was a short show, and nt worth that money laa, cuz the ending was like not much. hse of wax will be freakier i think. albert was being funny thruout the whole show laaa, cuz he was scared also, plus kept making stupid jokes P.S he didnt meant to be funny, but cuz he's fr china, everythg he says will send me n joe rolling on the floor.. spastic. he asked me if i wanna have dinner with his fren. wtf la u think match-making session meh? lol. think he just want a free dinner. hell i was a lil mad yet find the whole situation a lil runny la. nvm.

joesephine is so niceee. seriously she is so kind and helpful and i think she'll nv step on an ant.

and yes that woman was stalking me. oh my. called me and say she saw me. i was asking her where the hell are u man but she didnt answer my question, haaa. then i saw her when i left lido, lol... wake up your idea twin.

yay yay its SATURDAY!!! lovely!

.: 6 days and still counting :.

some people say lotsa things, but they dont practice what they preach. so they left me confused.

hse of wax is pure gruesome, and this woman (supposedly to be my fren but decided to change her identity to the w o m a n) beside me kept screaming. alamak. i was so paiseh can. every single part of it was really fear provoking and there wasnt a moment when i can have peace. and this asshole who lean back a great distance and my knee had already touched his seat w/o barely stretching my legs. darn. and this dumb ass taxi driver who no1) said i told him the wrong place 2) said i didnt tell me i was gg 2 places. was liike hello i tried and u were answering yr stupid call, and u didnt even listen carefully so dont give me all this shit can? lol.

anyway great meet up with evilt. lol... wish can spend more time like tonite tog, before she gets attached.. lol.. and yes im probable gonna _____ ____ ___. cuz i think that is what He has in stored fer me?

i need to wake up my idea. dont know why im behaving this way. smthg must be wrong somewhere out there. hmmm what is it. i need to step out of it and cut myself fr such silly thots.

.: 7 days and still counting :.

felt so stupid and pissed when my 75 scurried off right infront of my eyes when i turned away to sneeze. haaa how dumb can i get. so over lunch she asked me if bh knows bout the dinna on fri, and i said, erm actually i wasnt inform abt it in the first place.. and she was like oh sorry sorry. -.-' how can u celebrate a farewell w/o me n bh?! duh right. when we're the VIPs... haaa..nvm.. so its confirmed, we're gg to hyatt on fri.. muahahaha im over the moon. lets just hope that i'll have fun k

and yes im mtg my sweets tmr, i hope, at least!

ok im off ta dreamland. what to do. i need gd rest. lol.

.: 8 days and still counting :.

so i thot i was gg to help sophia tmr, turn out tt i'll be helping SP. -.-' how scary can that get. oh oh. butterflies in my stomach now. but i know shes nothing like the 2 ah nei bitches. just tt i hope she wont ask me ta do a/c stuff cuz im really bad at that.

throat feels scratchy, have been downing water the whole day. went to the loo for the umpteen time! haaaaas.. and each time its like a mini waterfall.. but all the drinking doesnt seem to help, ugh. yay yay yay wed soon, how fast. anyway if theres a farewell party for us on fri, why are we the last to know? aint she afraid that we'll already have progs line up for the nite? weird eh. she probably assume tt we die die have to turn up since its meant for us. just know tt its some buffet at hyatt hotel? lol.. cant help grinning to myself.. but i just dont like her laaa.. so loud and dominating. everyone is entitled to their own freedom of speech right, and nt subjected to anyones criticisms.

anyway i didnt lunch with them today ha. cuz she doesnt make me feel at ease. can feel her eyes on me, haaa. mayb im just being sensitive.. anyway thank God for Rachel the new attachmt student who accompanied me elsewhere fer lunch hee cuz beeee went ta meet her frens. didnt do much today. not productive at all.. was trying ta look busy and all, hahaaaa.. just kept staring into space, yawns.. feeling sickish perhaps..

just 8 more days and i'll be back at school!!! cant wait, really.. cant believe im saying this cuz im forever lamenting on how sianing sch is. but right now, i just cant wait to go back. sch's definitely better than work. definitely. lol.

i think God is cute. hahaaaa.. he's really funny u know... just what i think, and what He showed me.. amusing...

this jy is so irritating, but in a way which i dont hate but find it funny.. haaaa.. keeps calling me name in cantonese every now and then.. haaa.. siew gai.. thanks huh.. think he's gonna miss me!!! muahaha... in a da ge ge and xiao mei mei way.. haaa.. dont misunderstand.. cuz im like sitting btw him n eve? and i can get really lame at times and make them laugh. haaaaaaaahaha.

please say a prayer fer me that i wont screw things up tmr k. thanks. :)

sleep with me.

yes. its that time of the night. on a more precise note, its that time of the sunday night.

i believe there is a rebellious streak in each and every one of us. i think mine is beginning to show. but heck, who cares. anyway thanks glen, for that juicy update. just dont understand why people go fucking around at such a young age. call me conservative but i dont give a damn. all they can think of is sex sex sex and sex everyday. and so now shes in preggers, i oughta congratulate her, really..

am feeling really perplexed. sigh. feeling heavy-hearted nowadays. have been wearing a mask for a long time, i wanna to take it off, but i guess it's hard. wish things will have a better turn soon. i have no mood for anything now really. just speculating. dont wanna think too much and get hurt. no point. and its all not worth it. so not worth it at all.

and what a gloomy day it was. hope i dont bring it over to the brand new week which i already feel will not be good. haha what krapps right. nvm. things havent been in good shape for a long time and im seriously beginning to wonder when all these shit will ever come to an end.

life is definitely fragile. :'(

i just need that little bit of _____________.

.: Happy Mother's Day :.

another gimmick just for florists and giftshops and eateries to make big bucks. anyway it shouldnt just be mamas day for that one day. but infact all day, all weeks, all months, and all years round. why. cuz mothers are just so wonderful, they deserve to be treated like queens every other day. but i always take mine for granted. was so pissed with her for worrying this and that. i mean hello im 19 this year, not 8, not 12, not 16, but 19. i just need that bit of freedom more, is that too much to ask? well nvm.

thursday is my free day. how happy. at least for the next semester. isnt it gr8.

i just wanna have fun.

.: 10 and still counting :.

liquid rm out. nah nah dont like it at all. didnt even expect to go chiong.. thot wil just chill out at soundbar. but in the end... didnt wanna argue with her lah. and she was smoking. wth, so disappointed. wil prob nv go back there again. dinna with the babes was basically a bitchfit session. lol. funs. and we took tons of silly pics. pat n yj's over at my hse.. but think they gg back soon. ugh i need a wink. badly.

.: 11 days and counting :.

thurs cmg to an end, which means its frifrifriyay. am gonna meet up with 2 babes fer dinna n then followed by liquid rm with pat&co. mayb only lah. mayb. yes have been really looking forward to this. really. friday means so much when u are working. ever since i started attachment, i realised how precious each and every weekend is, and how i swear to enjoy every single moment of it with my loved ones..

got a piece of shocking news from mei today.. uncle ben passed away cuz of stroke.. which really struck me deeply.. just saw him on sunday and he was still looking great and all.. sigh, cant believe it. now that he was sick or smthg.. he just seems so healthy, and all of a sudden, he's gone. well what can i say.. guess we had better live each day to the fullest, and as if its our last day on earth. sometimes i just cant comprehend what God is up to. im seriously confused. sure He has His plans. but what?

.: 13 days and still counting :.

sigh. today was well... :( think im prob gonna go down to Parpia's to help ST.. kind of apprehensive yet i wanna go. just hope that i can clear finish all that i need to do by tomorrow. right now, im just looking forward to that weekend. that very much anticipated weekend. it seems to far away right now, and when it has just started, it had to end.

hate it when im pmsing, just feel so restless to do anything. and all the thots that i can harbour of are pretty much disheartening. im so tired. physically, spiritually, emotionally. sometimes i wish that i can just take a break and go somewhere where i can unwind and have all the time to myself. and sometimes i just dont know what i am doing. life seems to really be meaningless, cause there aint any goals or dreams set to be achieved. hanging down there, not knowing what to do next. baffled and angry about so many things, and how they always struck me, leaving me with unanswered answers. all i do is to blame, is to point my fingers, is to choose to shut my ears, zip my mouth, and blind myself.

i hate it when i see people sinking deeper and deeper, yet i cannot and dont know how to pull them up to safety. i let them sink, further and further, pretending that i do not know anything at all. sometimes i tried. so many times. too many times and both parties get tired. i guess we all have a choice to what we want. He gave us the freedom to choose. but often, He's not in the picture at all.

and if u think u can change anything just by yourself, u are so wrong. so very wrong. wake up. please. i dont wanna see u get hurt anymore. u deserve more.

.: Happiness is short-lived :.

topsy turvy weekend altogether. a little bit too much for me to take, but im sure God will never give us more than we can ever bear. pretty much a depressing holi, but i sure had my share of fun. sure hate to see closed one in tears, but at least i know we're there for one another no matter what happens. hang in there girlie, like what u said, things will be better tmr! so sorry abt the subjects mentioned.. sure aint easy for all of us, but take heart that God's in charge!

and was damn pissed with the fuggly asshole who kept turning his head over and stare at us in the bus. it wasnt once or twice, but countless times. and it was so obvious, just feel like kicking him down there and make sure he'll nv be called daddy. not that things werent bad enough. and to top it off, im burnt. and im losing my voice. ugh. screw it.

sometimes i wish i can just disappear into the thin air.

spent my day with my twinnie! like how nice, how happy! except for the fact that our movie tics got screwed up. and we took neoprints!!! hahas. double grins. and oh my i saw a pair of birkies which i really really love. oh my. oh my. its pink with red lips on it. totally adorable. 99 buckeroos. i want i want i want. but my twin said i shouldnt. hmm prolly cuz she'd get it fer me? anyway its size 38. u know it, dont hide it. lol.

.: 14 days and still counting :.

time is flying at warped speed, and im beginning to feel a lil fearful. halfway into my attachmt at LMS Associates, and yes i got my first paycheque today. how happy. the feeling is so great cuz somehow its like yr hard-earn money, hmmm perhaps nt ha but still its an indescribable feeling. could practically feel my heart smiling. but have yet to bank it in cuz no1) i dont know my a/c no. 2) i forgot to bring the cheque out during lunch, 3) i brought the cheque out when running an errand, but forgot the card. !@123*$abc#!

a fab time with my babes today. awesome get-together fer aft like a mth or smthg.. always have great times with them, lol.. just that gotta shake somebody off, and i always have to end up lying tog with them. i think we all make pretty good actors, aint it a pity, where else can u find such great talent?? and yes, definitely a great end to the night. yeah rriigghhtt. bumping into alex. bleah. and my all time fav activity, a cab ride hm. anyway its costs only 5.70 fer the trip fr town back to home sweet home. super cheap rite. shd have done that long time ago. lol.

JernYang asked me ytd, hey u gg out tonight ah? was like huh no, y? cuz of yr earrings, and evelyn said cuz i always dress like im gg partying. ugh. isit gd or bad? sometimes i look totally off, ha cuz always in my 'i wanna take a walk in the garden' skirts. haaaa.. and my earrings are a tad too big? ha.. c.o.n.s.e.r.v.a.t.i.v.e. work was cool today, laugh my head off. cuz of albert. haha he's some china guy whos our common topic cuz he's cute lah, nt the handsome kinda cute, but just cute like a small lil boy cuz he's a lil round, and he never fails to be blur. lol. and he's holding a pass from Shao Lin Si, can u believe it. oh my. guess i laughed really loudly. felt so paiseh after that. oh no. hope the peeps in the office dont get irritated with me. they went out for satay tonite, wanted to go so badly, but of cuz my girls come first! :) thank God for such nice gor gors and jie jies and aunties! they are all so nice... so so courteous... so so sweet... haaa.. aunty gladys always pat my head, no idea why.. haha mayb cuz she had nv had a daughter? and im like a xiaomeimei there lol.. and Seok Tin always calls me xiaomei, and i'll be kinda paiseh. haha. actually our age diff is like just 8 yrs? anyway, thank God for these people.

and yay its friday. no no. infact its saturday! how fast, but glad the weekend'll be slightly longer than usual, cuz of lab day! yeeps. shall buy a lil smthg fer myself. been a long time since i last got smthg i really wanted badly.

had a great lunchie with cheryl babes haha. sat outside caltex hse, so dramafied yeah. all we need is a newspaper, and a red marker. if only she was a tad earlier, then we can have a longer bitchfit session. lol. looking forward to tues already, and yeah im ons bar nxt fri. my new lunch partner. lol.

.: 16 and still counting :.

ran an errand today. so happiee! cuz i can take cab all the way down to ubi, and then back hm, cuz i can claim the fares! was telling God that i wanted to go, and TA-DA! Sophia asked me to deliver the document! wahaha.. daddy send me hm, but im gonna make sure i pay him back tmr. anyway its really sweet of him lah. he's the nicest daddy in the world! he was worried that i didnt know how to make my way back, so came pick me up, but know it was all arranged by God! bee wasnt in during the later half of the day.. went out to learn auditing, thanks to Loch Ness. bleahs.

yups, latest hot topic. - who's in yr class. lol

yeah, God is so nice to me. i have jess, marilyn, eve& sijie in the same class as me. woot! *pumps fists into air* yay yay yay! is like super super cool! then again, i totally HATE this arrangement. im starting to wonder if there's just only tb17 n tb18 in mktg tourism.

to end the note, im really baffled. perplexed. confused. bewildered. puzzled.

.: ewww. u gross me out. =( :.

like i always say, i hate sunday nights. ugh. always so depressing, cuz i gotta either go wk/sch the following day. sigh. definitely sianing. some people just crave for attention, and its personally irritating the shit out of me. and some people just talk too much, and it will do a great deal of help if they just shut up for like, say just 1 min? that'll suffice u know.. and some people are totally disgusting, and they actually dont have a clue abt tt. guess its time i talk to them abt it. damn. and sometimes i have to hide, i have to lie, even to those whom i hold dear to. sigh. why cant we just be frank with one another? why is there always two sides to a person? one side so secretive that should others sees it, he/she will feel so exposed, so vulnerable?

i guess its human nature, we dont want to appear vulnerable. we dont want others to see the weak side of us. we're afraid. afraid of criticisms, afraid of comments. we dont like the idea of being told what to do, but we like the idea of telling others what to do. sigh. humans.. so full of themselves, never willing to humble themselves.

anyway, dont know what im talking above.. haha just full of krappps. and yeah weekend was well spent.

i wanna church camp. i want i want i want. humph.

oh
man
i
sure
hate
hate
hate
sunday
nights.
!!!

ok i got my results today.

Operations Management : C+
Principles of Mktg : AD
Accounting Application Analysis : C+
Production Quality Studies : A
Exploring Photography : B+
Electronic Commerce : B
Entrepreneurship : A

elated/over the moon/pleased/contented/ecstatic/exhilarated/

thank God and His faithfulness to me!

wahaha.. really happy, cuz this is the first time i got an A in poly, dont even mention AD. so im just really excited! haha.. means nothing to many people, cuz they have probably gotten it all their lives, and are immune to it, but still, im thankful. just want to share this wonderful piece of news to my darlings, those who've been through that period with me. be it words of encouragements, actions of encouragements, prayers, etc.. thank u all so much for walking with me, and cheering me on during times when i was in low spirits/dejected/pessimistic.

and yes daddy n mummy are so proud of me.. hee.. am so happy that they are happy. am so glad that they are glad. guess its rather comforting to them. hee... and yups, i got my specialisation, marketing and tourism! isnt that great! basically its double happiness! but turns out tt almost everyone got the specialisation they wanted la, so no biggie deal. still, im over the moon. once again, this is impossible without Him. thank u Lord. =)

You have TURQUOISE eyes.

What kind of eyes do you have?

Your results
TURQUOISE

You have turquoise eyes. Turquoise is the color of communication. Your eyes symbolizes your intuitive nature. You can be over-analytical sometimes, possible fussy and egoentric. You have the tendency to push your heart out of the way and let logic make your decisions. You are not shy, but you can be secretive, closed confused about what you want, and maybe a bit sneaky and paranoid at times. Some words to describe you: cool, refreshing, imaginative, motivated, dynamitic, calm, peaceful, joyful, relaxed, truthful, healing, meditation, tranquility, forgiving, patient, sleepy and day-dreamer.

just posting up some chapalang pics. tot it would be a better choice since i have nt much to say today. haha. *out.

my darling twinnie! *winks

twin founders day, lol

my twinnie and me haha

haha miss bapok chung

saw this in the carpark. so niceee right, like those kiddy car rides in amusement parks..

haha i like this pic.. futuristic right. my cow n pig beside me..

ethan and bryan's bday cake.. spongebob and squarepants.. cute sia..

haha.. not much to blog.. posting pics may be a better choice.. sorry for the chapalang pictures..