.: 24 days and still counting :.

angel wings clam are gorgeous. omg. love it. today is a happy day, cuz it passed by relatively fast, hee.. and i was finally out! cheong out of office once the clock strike 6! wahahaaa.. so kns right, but nvm lah, i dont feel paiseh anyway. nuts. ok im nuts.. anyway, they had better get me a permanent place soon, else every morn i have to ask the secretary where im gonna sit for the day, haha.. and im lurving my wkplace, and the people there too, lol.. and poor albert, seems to be so stressed all the time, asked me how to pronounce some names today, so i sorta helped him, still, he seems worried.. got to know more juicy news regarding my colleagues today.. courtesy of joesephine, ai mei and evelyn.. was laughing my head off during lunch..

i was thinking how great it would be when i finish attachmt cuz i'll be back in school, and be a normal student again. but the thot of having to make new friends scares the shit out of me. sigh.. always have problem adapting to a new grp of ppl. and what it they are super bitchified? or what if they're super pia, kiasu, kiasi, or whatsoever? and what if im in the same class as those kantangs?? oh my.. just when im getting so comfy with my babes, this kinda thing has to happen. worse of al i dont even know which bloody specialisation i'll land on. damn. this is definitely worrying. anyway, i miss my gurlies.. u know who u are, haha.. i wanna meet up real sooooooooooon... but gotta wait for cow to come bk fr bkk.. ugh.. wil prob meet up nxt wk so can celeb the pigs bday, ha... think shall nt waste any money and get pressie for her.. get a pillow pumped with my f*rts for her... that'll solve all kinds of illnesses. =)

dumb msn screwed up. signed in and all contacts were gone. someone must have hacked into my a/c. damn..

3 mores days and the truth will be revealed. lol... hohoho...

ok cell was pretty cool.. just when i was thinking when will all the 6 of us ever be present during cell, it happened.. and we had a new fren today. like wow, a guy. lol. the last time we had a guy during cell was prob when the policemen were in shorts, hahaaaa.. anyway its meis bf lah. ha.. and i gt a blue live strong band from mei nu.. xie xie ni. =)

rotted in the girls' room reading mags.. i wanna make the sash belt, its super niceeee k.. shall attempt it when i got all the materials. or rather i'll ask ah cai to help me with it, gee..

oh damn it. i loathe sunday nights. i LOATHE it. simply hate it. ugh. monday blues are here to stay soon. sob...

gotta turn in soon. sigh. need ta wake up at 7. how fair can life be.

.: counting counting and still counting :.

sometimes i wish i could be living somebody else's life.. seems to me that im leading a really b.o.r.i.n.g lifestyle. i wish i could be doing more outrageous stuff, wish i have those really hippie friends, wish i could party all day long, wish i could spend like a running tap, wish i could be more rebellious. but the realities of life really BITE. and sometimes i get mad by the silliest things that can ever happen. sigh. and it wasnt pleasant at all. i wish giving was a 2 way kind of thing. but it seems to always prove me wrong. dont know whats wrong with me, always having silly thots that are just plain DUH.

well i must say im a little disappointed lah, but then again, life's filled with endless disappointments so i guess theres no point brooding over it, ha.. it definitely takes 2 hands to clap, how true tt statement is.. guess i have to get over it, wahaha.. bonkers. am always having weird thots. retard retard.

i'd be much happier if u can shut up for a while. just for a while. so f.o. =)

depressing. but i wont look back.

ha cool couple

fella wid a lil bangs ha

the hip-hop fella

haha fun w dough on 12/04

.: 25 days and still counting :.

yay its finally friday! went with mag to 6th ave venezia for ice-cream, yummyyyy... green tea and peanut butter, woot! and i got reeses peanut buttercups, but it aint the white choc one.. can someone tell me where i can get em? ha.. borrowed love actually, went up to watch, so sorry mag i kept dozing off, and missed the climax of the show! hahas.. shall watch them again! i wanna tan in the morn, but think i wont be able to wake up, ughs..

was shopping during lunch time and omg, saw this pair of sandals which i really like.. grins.. shall get it nxt wk! lol.. so theres altogether 3pairs of shoes which i wanna get nw! like i have the money.:(

was talking to aunty gladys in the loo, and she asked if shes old, i said nah lah, i think u are very havoc.. hahaha.. im a bootlicker. :) :) :)

.: 26 and still counting :.

.: 26 DAYS AND STILL COUNTING :.

the bus ride there took me 50 mins, bus ride bk took me an hr n 5 mins. feel like throwing up, way too long a ride, but yet i prefer taking tt mode of transport than train. and yay, friday is finally finally here! yeeps, so happieee! but then, there aint any programs lined up over the weekend, guess its time for me, myself and i! ha.. anyway, im gonna help my brother return a book, and that gives me a reward of 9 bucks, the leftover! hee.. mayb i can borrow a bk too!

my job's real mundane, sigh, but im thankful. a week ago i was still very much suffering.

there are so many things i wanna do. *sleep. *shopping. *movies. i want to meet up with many people too, but just cant be bothered to arrange the mtg place, time etc, im sick of taking the initiative to this and that. its time you do something bout it, nt me.

i wanna go church camp and get bombarded by my twinnie on rubbish krapps.

.: 27 days and still counting :.

and yes, finally its midwk. i must say working life is definitely no fun at all, nt a single bit. dozed off a couple of times today, hopefully nobody caught me doing it. simply too tired too concentrate, have been staring at the screen for like the whole day, and just feel like napping aft lunch.. was contemplating whether to go sleep in the toilet for a while or nt, but decided against the idea, since everyone can see u when u walk to the loo. tried all sorts of sitting positions, cross legged, stretched, etc etc, but to not much avail.

i think i kind of enjoy working in raffles place, thot it was pretty cool in fact, haha.. esp when u walk down the stairs, and u'll hear kiak kiak kiak, ha yeah the heels of womens shoes.. lol.. feels to me like a professional, always in busy mode, rushing for time, gee.. but still, i'd rather be back in sch then to be back at wk anytime. finally understand why people are saying they wish they were back at sch.. cuz working life is afterall nothing but just pure weary and tiresome.

sometimes i think i'm too possessive abt certain things. wish i'll learn to just let go. sigh. i know its not very nice, but people are selfish. what to do.. i cant stand myself at times, just feel like giving myself a tight slap across the face, ha, but i love xiaojia too much that i cant bear the thot of doing that to her, haha...

am looking forward to friday, when i can dash out of that very much dreaded door after work.

gonna attempt taking the bus to wk tmr.

okies, off to dreamland soon! ta-ta!

.: drama mama :.

its pretty much like a fresh new start, know it was Him who made it possible all along. just tt was al lil bit scared when the lady boss say'so u are expected to do some a/c stuff as well yeah? i was like oh ok..' cold beads of sweat were dripping down my forehead, ha... was amazed by how nice the people were. really felt like heaven, compared to last week's hell. but it was God all along, even tho last week was really traumatizing, i had to say it was getting better each day.. the people at my new wkplace are like all auditors or accountants or smthg, so i feel kinda out of place lah, but still, they are niceee. :)

so i started the day off by helping sophia do some filing, and i almost got squashed by aunty gladys! oh my.. its that kinda shelves where there are tons and tons of folders, and u turn some big wheel or whatever u call it, clockwise, and it'll open. so i was putting in the folders back, squatting down to put some below, and suddenly, the shelves started to move!! guess she didnt know i was there, and she started turning, and i was panicking like mad! haha then let out a loud"excuse me!!!" then she realised i was there.. the look on her face had been hilarious, she was like sorry sorry! lucky u still know how to let out a yelp! haha.. else i'll be flat.. lol.. so nice that she pushed a chair over, and tuck it btw the shelves, so as to "protect" me fr being squashed accidentally! lol.. and someone actually offered me a sweet k, so nice. and someone actually tell me no hurry k, can do tmr, thanks. and another said, hey ke yi hui jia le. job was quite fun, no need to think, just type some labels, print it out, do filing, and just that itself i took up the whole day, and yes its nt done yet. haha.. just scared that they'll ask me audit some stuff, then i'll pengsan.

news bout my predicament last wk kinda spread to my grandmama's ears. and my mama told me tt my grandmama called, and asked abt me, and that my grandmama cried too while talking abt me. omgoodness. i m so bloody ashame for this big hoo ha. sometimes i wonder if i've over-reacted.

.: drama mama :.

.: God loves me :.

ok so tmr will be it. mixed feelings right now, but just hope for the better. have been a pretty traumatizing week, and i just want to step out of that shadow right now.

had a fabulous time with my darlings today.. rotted the noon off at coffee club, and thanks mei for the chocolate fondue.. it was yummy yummy.. anyway twinnie wanted that for her birthday, and i thot that was pretty easy, haha.. so no problem lah.. and thanks again mei, for yr little cute gift, no idea how touched i was, really.. hee.. anyway, im so much happier now, thank God for this group of people who'll stick with me thru thick and thin.. hahas.. and fer the big big hug too, hahas...

wanted to get the shirts at gior, but they changed the season's clothes already, sians, so got nothing lah.. went diaso, and there seems to be nothing which i wanna get, which is weird, cuz i usually have to screen the stuff in the basket, and discard those which i dont need tt badly. lol. prob cuz money shd be spent wisely? lol.

anyway, my mama say i got a stuck up and unfriendly face, which i so totally disagree. but perhaps shes right lah. so im gonna be all nice and smiley from tmr onwards. lol.

.: break away :.

was glad when i went up and see the pressies i got for the boys opened mag told me they were playing with it these 2 days *grins. glad they like it. hmmm mayb i'll go get some refills from playdough

it was a stay home saturday, had some time to myself. for once listen to nothing but peace. peace that comes from Him that surpasses all understandings. sometimes one need to have time for herself. lives are often so busy that we failed to see the beautiful surroundings around us.

i've learnt to be stronger, and i thank Him for helping me live each day with peace and courage. i've learnt that He will send angels to be with me during all chapters of my live
i've learnt that genuine concern does come from people and words can never express my gratitude, but i still want to say THANK YOU for making me feel loved.

beginning to appreciate things, people more after what have happened within this one week making a living is afterall not as easy as what it seems and there cant possible be angels everywhere in our lives. and our lives cant always be peaches and creme. after all the sobbing, theres a big lesson for me to learn

God has walked me thru one of the darkest episode of my life. He had tide over all the gloomy events. and i pray that i'll learn to treasure the new lease of chance. it wont be easy, a scar has already been imprinted in me the frightening vividness of my dream. but i know, i know He'll be holding my hands always. and He'll be there to pick me up fr where i fall.

its time to smile and make merry with my dearies.
and yes, sunday is finally here. Amen.

.:brand new beginning:.

this week was definitely a long one. after endless nights of insomnia, crying myself to sleep, i should be able to have a gd rest tonight. the long awaited weekend is finally here, and for once i have a smile plastered over my face.

and i wanna say a huge THANK YOU to my daddy, and father on top, for seeing me thru all these. my daddy, for making the phone call to my LO, asking me nt to be frightened, showing his care and concern for me, everythg he did made me feel loved and precious in his eyes. same goes for mummy... must have scared her badly, for she didnt talk to me much for the fear of switching on my weep tap, not to miss out the not eating part.

but its all over. im free. free again. thank u. it wasnt possible w/o u intervening. really gonna treasure this weekend, after all i've been thru. dont want to look back anymore.

just cant wait to see my darlings on sunday. oh jus how much i miss them. just cant wait for sunday to arrive. just want to give them a BIG BIG HUG. miss them real badly. and yeah i wanna proclaim my love for them here. lol. esp mei dot rose meinu nick. life would be pretty much meaningless w/o u guys ard me. oh my. how i miss them. i really do. so badly. and my poor darling is down with high fever, prob cuz her twin is down and unhappy. sigh. feel so bad. hope she recovers soon.

just wanna pray for a brand new beginning, and to thank Him for Bee who's in the same comp. God has never left me after all. and i'll cont to keep Aunt Ranie, Kav, SC, Capt. Rashid in my prayers, cuz they were the ones who have guided me and given me so much help and shieldings.
and also for all who cared, love u all, may the Lord's love and peace surround u all days of yr life. :)

now im baffled really. all of a sudden their attitude changed. for the better of course. i dont know what to do now. totally lost. then til this morn i realised that the mails couldnt be sent to my LO. so i asked Nic and Aud to help, but same prob cropped up. in the end had to fax it to her. and up till now she havent call to inform me that she've received it etc. totally clueless now. sigh. and then uncle rashid seems not to be that trustworthy aft all. sigh. really confused nw, caught in this whole issue. sigh. i lost my appetite, couldnt sleep and eat well. sigh. durng the day i'll have terrible stomachaches that make me wanna go LS but i bear with it for the fear of them asking me to do smthg. just wonder how long i can bear with it. sigh.

nic and aud are leaving tmr. oh my. tmr. feel so unprotected w/o them. at a lost. sigh. and they'll be back only on monday. double sigh. wish they could take me with them.

sobbed again today when i talked to my mum. i really dont want to go back to that horrible place. daddy told me nt to be afraid, and said he'll call my LO tmr, but thing is, i think i shd wait for my LO to call me regarding the fax first. sigh. dunno what to do now. sigh. daddy says if she gets nothing done about it, he'll go down to moe. sigh.. i really dont know how.

Will u please show me yr way God. are u there. are u. i think u left me. or mayb i left u.

such a bad predicament.. of all people, but me. sigh. u have absolutely no idea how i feel when i see ppl ard so carefree, having fun, saying how boring attachmt is, that they have nothing to do. .no offence.

help.

today was another day of hell.
made to do tons of things, and first thing in the morn she asked me why i never report to her regarding the call to the embassy, and asked whther if she shd report to me instead. was like wtf lah, just f*** off lah. then as usual ask order me here and there, do this do that, then was suppose to mit officer for lunch, but they kept me bk, say must finish this first, which i took a long time, and delayed the lunch for bout 1/2 hr. then 5.50 ask me send errand, go all the way to raffles place, and the poor supplier had to give me a lift. anyway he's nice. and told him bout my situation, he said, dont stay there, and say if need help or smthg, can look for him. so nice. everyone's so nice. except for the 2 bitches. reached the place at 6.10, and had to walk for 20 minutes in the rain before finding the place. you have no idea how it feels, to be all alone, in a foreign area, and u need to get this job done fast, blisters on toes, cold, hungry, demoralised, frightened, fearful, wondering what the next day will bring, and pessimism will fill yr heart, and will shudder at the thought of them.

sigh. and its really sianing. everywhere i go, it'll be the indians that im asking help for. cuz i was walking ard, was lost, so asked the security in many buildings, must have approached ard 5 of them, haha, and all were indians. sigh. my life. seems to be filled with indians. then in the train, 1 indian standing in front of me, another 2 behind. how suay. tt's nt all. the worst thing, took a cab from clementi and the driver was also an indian. like wth, keep having to come in contact with them. but he's nice, and the security guards are nice.then when buying things at the supermkt, indian queing behind me.(-.-)lll. im baffled. such nice and such terrible indians. confused. aunty ranie, uncle rashid, taxi driver, guards all nice indians. siti and nazirra are such nasty indians. sigh.

capt. rashid is the also super nice. hopefully he doesnt stab me in the back. he told me its nt worth staying there, say that previous girls also went to his office and cry, and they got transferred out etc. and that the two bitches are nasty, and i'll nv know what they'll do to me. what he meant was they'll prob fail me at the end of it.. thats y i have to get out of this rut too. but my LO is nt helping me much. she said cuz np also got agreemt with them etc etc.. sians. like that how. no one is helping me. damnit lah. arghhh. this is driving me crazy.

but im proud of myself, proud of how i can take it for 3 whole days, how i've stopped crying today, prob cuz i have given up all hopes. ha. i'll learnt to bear with it. to tell myself theres no pt getting upset cuz it aint yr fault. and no longer that frightened. just feel tt life is unfair, and it will never be justified. never.

finally i can understand y maids like to kill their employers
its because u just get so damn angry and mad
and makes u wanna chase aft their employer with a cleaver
understand their plight now.
and all i can say is, well done, just make sure u dont get caught.

today was another day of hell.
wheer i'm off only at 9pm.
but they were gone long time ago.
auntie ranee said i had to clear the stuff
cuz theres more new work coming in tmr
fuck right.
fuck the bitches upside down.
wish they'll just die and disappear.

aunty ranee will be quitting soon.
sigh. she's so nice.
kavin's nice also.
they understand my plight too.
wtf right.
they also get bullied, but are used to it.
everyday stay til super late w/o getting paid.
plus they're doing way too much stuff.

these 2 bitches. forever scolding fuck and fucker n arsehole
such fakers u know.
they are 2 indian sisters. the younger one is married to the angmoh boss.
whom i presume is blind.
stayed till late to do wk when he's ard.
went out for long lunch and come in to office late when he's nt there
not much vulgarities when he's ard.
but when he's nt there, all the filth comes outta their mouths

i wanna get out of this rut.
really i do.
or i'll suffer from a nervous breakdown.

went to hawks hse straight aft wk
nick and aud was there
almost in tears when i saw them.
managed to controlled it..
then went straight to the sofa to sit
seconds later, dorothy called..
and then the tap was switched on..
anyway, was really sweet of her to call me.
really touched.
and jess too, the previous night.
think i shall nt see or talk to my closed ones, c
cuz i'll prob keep crying and crying.
and i got swollen eyes this morn. sigh.

thanks to xiaoming, meinu, fu-ge, donna, evelyn, glen, cheryl, jess, liz, dorothy twinnie, amei, suaty, patrina, janice, shirley, and all those who care. love all of u...

darling 1: yo! got any chee ko pek boss? or big bully secretary? hope things turn out well so far!

and of course it didnt. sobbed when i step out of office to have lunch.

darling 1: s*** hate indian bitches, they damn vocal & mk big deal, esp since they r almoz always ugly. oh noo... hope u'll be oki, sigh! show em' u are nt to be bullied!

darling 2: there there... lotsa fuckers, fakers, bitches, jerks, 2headed, hypocrites, backstabbers! i hate em too! Dun gif em a damn. Jz knw yr conscience's clear. I used 2dash to loo sobbin. At times nt fast enuff, tear already rolled down, decided its more convenient 2 weep at desk instead. Heck bout embarrassment then, haha. Girl, seek consolance in Him.Rem we're always here for u. it helps. after this ordeal, u learn how to start fend off those meanies! Brace yrself, show em what u are capable of!
know its esp tough for u, hope this lyrics will make yr day like it did for me:
listen as the day unfolds,
challenge wat the future holds.
try and keep yr head up2d sky.
lovers, they may cause u tears
go ahead and release ur fears
stand up and be counted
dont be shame to cry
u gotta be
u gotta be bad
u gotta be bold
u gotta be wiser
u gotta be hard
u gotta be tough
u gotta be stronger
u gotta be cool
u gotta be calm
u gotta stay together
all i know
love wll save the day.
*love ya twin*

darling 1:wahlaoeh stupid witch, heck care her and complain to the teacher in charge at sch! make a detailed note of what she say/ instruct u & i'll help u write a letter!

dun react to em, these bullies just cower under them, just do what's told, heck them! is ur boss better? if can, talk 2 him

darling 2: y the hell did they let u off so late? its just the beginning of the attachment! do they hav no common sense?! stupid dumb dumb company!! ay yo, poor girl, dun sob, dun sob, haiz. they are abusing their rights! call up ur lecturer and complain! u oughta do that now! if nt, go sch and complain tmr! stupid idiotic company!

darling 1: wat?!! how caan.. they got work to rush isit? so unreasonable. mk it clear what r yr working scope and hrs, dun get bullied! must thick skin, heck care! hugz!

oh no... dun feel that way.. fuck those fools..dun let them tear u down! u r worth more! hush hush u can do it...

darling 2: haiz mayb u wanna try asking others instead? is everyone as nasty? sigh. whats up with em? young bitches or old? curse em! dun sob girl, dun cry over them. not worth it. brace yrself! ay yo, tmr call up yr lecturer and voice out to him. dun let them think they can bully n walk over you. quite upsetting. i imagines and almost cried too when u told me earlier. sigh. my poor twin.

No way! dyings def nt one of d soln! cmon dont make me worry. really, this can surely be resolved. if u cant stand those indian sluts dun talk to em. i guess its tough for anyone 2 understandwhat u r gg thru. rem i almost felt the same way when i wept buckets over coffeeshop issue. so lost and abandoned then. kept questioning Him y put me in such a spot. its a learnin process girl. its impt to share, 2 know tt ppl care, it definitely spurs me n overcome each obstacle, slowly but surely, i know i can

darling 1: aww gal.. dun fret about those sickening assholes k!! u deserve better! if this continues, write for a transfer...
___________________________________________________________________

i really appreciate all those who care. really. but im at my wits end. whenever i think of their faces, i start weeping buckets again.

p e t r i f i e d

oh my.
im really scared.
with every second ticking away.

petrified/scared/anxious/nervous/frightened/
terrified/fearful/afraid/worried/stressed/
tensed/frazzled/depressed/
please please keep me in ur prayers will u.

its been a long time since i last attended a kid's bday party
i would say it has been a lot of fun
seeing all the kids getting so excited and eager
playing with balloons
trying to dip feet into the pool w/o much success
running here and there
brings back fond memories of my childhood..
as much as i can remember,
every year of my birth will definitely be celebrated, without fail
probably till when i was primary 6
going to to parties were always so fun
u get to be in best frocks
get to buy nice pressies for yr frens
and have a hell lot of fun at the party
and the most delightful thing is to get a little small souveneir when u are leaving
they would be things like goodie bags with sweets, balloons, pencils, etc etc in it
whenever i get them i'd be like damn happy.. lol..

and for the birthday boy/girl
u'll be in yr best suit as well, and the star for the night will be u
all attention and focus will be on u
and u'll be treated like a little prince/princess
people will let u have things your way
and u get a really humongous birthday cake
and of course trucks of pressies!!

bt have u realised that as time passes
we dont celeb birthdays that often anymore
and that mountains of pressies have been decreasing in number?
celebration will then be kept to just family and close friends
who bother to take the effort and do smthg really sweet for u
give it somemore years, and there'll be a complete end to celebrations
friends no longer celeb for u
and u'd be thankful if someone remembers, and give u a card for smthg.

therefore, treasure each and every birthday celebration that u have nw
cuz u'll nv know when it will all come to an end.

conclusion - my birthday is on the 16th of June 1986. lol.

yeeps, freedoms here.
but got the dumb dumb attachment
thats gonna spoil the hols mood.
im really dreading it.
the thot of it scares me like mad.

gonna head down for ethans and bryans birthday party soon
perhaps a small celebration for myself too. lol.
today and tmr will probably be the days when i can have fun.
so here i come

anyway i think he's mad.
but its nt my fault right
sorry anyway, if u think i pang seh u.
cuz i probably did.
but yr fren shd have met u at 3.
cuz u said so in the 1st place.
plus, i was carrying such a big bag of stuff
how do u expect me to go all the way down with u
am i right
but sorry anyway

*the bleak period will be over before you know it.
He makes all things beautiful in His time.
trust in Him and His faithfulness.*

wake up.

thank you so much for nt involving us in the whole damn thing.
anyway, i'll prob be the only one who's bothered about it.
like they'll care.
sometimes it aint gd being the youngest.
pple are not tt geared up in achieving dreams.
spontaneity have all worn off.
and u'll realised tt being so enthusiastic aint gonna help at all
cuz they'd bloody well ask u to wake up yr idea.
left me to ponder why such things happen.
and i'll probably nv get an answer.

no idea why i'll suddenly feel agitated
and feel that everything's nt flowing in the right direction
but at the end of the day
God will perhaps make everything seem right.

om was goody good. think i shd be able to pass.
this sem is definitely the best for me so far
thank you.*

heehee was gonna pass a egg to him secretly when his mama saw and that explains the cheeky smile!

he wants more... more choc eggs!

cute eh?

the eggieeeesss!!!

hee the cute msg on the card!

pinch your cheeks

well spent easter
but the agm was like hmmm. huh. oh. really. bad. how. ugh.
just pray that the Lord will put everythg in place in His time
got this super cute pressie from mei
cheep chicky card with choc eggs
*thanks gal, really sweet of ya...

and thanks to my dear twinnie
for that encouraging sms...
may the psychic forces be with us! haha...

aaa's down. kinda felt relieved...
was in shock when i saw the paper
but still with God's grace
i managed to do it bit by bit. =)
so theres another 3 more to go.
so much stuff to memorise.
yucks. i absolutely detest memorising.
cuz i've got very little room in my head for memorising stuff
ugh.

gave a tampon to my daughter today..
haha she seems rather fascinated by it.
hope she'll have a great time playing with it!
wahahaaa..

i wanna get *pinch yr cheeks from origins.
and perhaps that pair of silver flats.
right. retail therapy on sat. *grins.

Thank.God.Its.Friday.

having a mama who's a tailor is sucha good thing
from mini pouches to bikinis to shorts to skirts to shirts to dresses to belts to headbands to bags
just name it and she'll do it for me
sometimes to the extent that she'll be doing it till wee hours in the morn
though at times i'd scream n shout at her, and take her for granted,
she still does it for me ultimately, w/o complaining, even when she's already so exhausted.
just like today, when i got hm bout an hr ago,
i saw a pair of shorts n a skirt on the sofa
was exhilarated. she's so nice.

anyway, thank God for my grandmama
if nt for God, and nt for her, i wouldnt be alive.
why? cuz my mama was comtemplating whether to abort me or not
so by God's saving hands, i was born
wahaha.. thank God my grandmama offered to look aft me
else, i wont be here typing all these stuff nw, ha...
and of cuz my existence just prove happiness to all the peeps ard me
wahaha... *pukes

i think im a two-faced spoilt brat. sighs.
can be such a devil at hm, and an angel when im outside
beneath the angelic smile lies a devil?
hahas...
if i were to say my parents dont dote on me, i'd be caught lying.
they're so nice that i take them for granted.
they give me tons of freedom, nt interferring with what i wanna do
i dont wash dishes aft i have eaten
i leave my things lying ard
i dont help out with the housework
i talk back to them
i curse when im mad
all these they tolerated with me.

reminds me of our great loving Father above.
He too, loved us so much.
we disobey Him,
we question His existence,
we point our fingers at Him,
we take Him for granted,
He still love us like before, and He'll never forsake us nor leave us. never.

as i watched bits n pieces of passion today,
i was reminded once again of the love
love for the world that God sent His son to die for us
all the flogging, scourging, the pain, the torture that He had to go thru
just for you and me
are we worth it?
no if u ask me.
but its because of that first love, so great, it overcomes everything.
T.G.I.F.

obsession with shoes.

the toddler in son of the mask's really cute
tot the show was cute
cute but no oomph
prob the reason y no one was laughing
except the woman sitting beside me

stepped into bata
and spotted 4 pairs of shoes that i wanna get
but outta these 4, theres one pair which i really like
was 49.95 but nw gg for 29.95 hehs
so tempting!
oh and the sling bag i saw at queensway...
ahhhhh... i want em right away!!!

ok back to reality.
still got tons of stuff to cover.
wonder when im ever going to finish looking thru em.
time is definitely nt on my side

the tot of attachmt excites me
but as the day draws nearer,
depression began to sink it
why, cuz i wont have my hols
cant bear the thots of them suntanning, lazing ard at the poolside
while i gotta slog.
sobs.
life is definitely u.n.f.a.i.r.

my sweets/besties/daughters/chums for life!

gonna miss my girls...

gonna miss my girl - liz

gonna miss my girl - jess

oh man. i feel so darn guilty.
oughta be burying my head into all the notes but then..
im out almost every other day. ugh.
was out on sat.
was out on sun.
will be out on mon.
help~!
and then tanning tmr.
sigh/
i wanna study
yet i dont wanna miss out the fun.
sighs.
hopeless./
hopeless./
wondering how im gonna get thru the exams.
and i want retail therapy.
but im oh so broke.
='(

being alone doesnt mean lonely - easy to read, hard to absorb

ok so here's the deal
peanuts salary of 440/mth
which works out to be 20buckeroos a day
oh man, that is like so much! so nice of JCP! smiles widely.
like real.
so im gonna be cheap labor, doing all the dirrrty job.
need to do admin. research. data entry. analysis.
what the heck is research & analysis???
freaking me out but yet im really anticipating it.
just hope that i meet really nice ppl.
thats all i want.
doesnt matter if theres shitty or huge piles of wk
just want nice ppl to wk with
then i'll be happy.
and i hope i'd be well-liked by them
erm mayb liked will suffice
heehee...
anyway was really trouble this noon, cuz didnt want to go for the briefing alone
y? caused my 2 babes did their itp last sem
left me alone *sobs
u have no idea how glad i was to see u Eve
haha.. felt super relieved k.
guess im pathetic
just cant do things alone.
i will really just freak out.
sigh, no sense of security.
so please dont ever ever leave me alone.
i wouldnt be able to survive.

okies gonna catch the 2nd part of ella enchanted at my clubhse ltr!
till then, have a great weekend!

Cheryl, for yr info..

mikalah gordon sucks.
shd just die n disappear.

mikalah gordon suck.
shd just die n disappear.

Dear Glen, Your group project grade for Principles of Marketing is A. Please disseminate this information to the rest of your team. Individual marks may vary depending on my assessment of the peer evaluations.
Thank you.

Regards,
Lim-Wong Wai Mun

nt trying to brag.
how nice =)
really nice :)
delighted*

i scolded her idiot
and she said she was disappointed.
whatever.
she asked 'are these what God has taught u?'
i was ashamed. totally. but heck. felt like the devil.
i am sick of her accusing me of nt doing that
i did, alright?? everyday, w/o fail.
damn. whatever. cant be bothered.
and so i broke the 2nd commandment.
i hate it totally when people accuses me of things i didnt do.
i LOATHE it.
so dont attempt to do so
i make sure i bite u real hard

supposed to suntan with em ytd
but then i stayed at home... y? *hush*
hahhaahaaaa..
anyway was at tampines mall ytd
and of all people, i had to bump into the disgusting alex
yeah that one with the gay factor...

watched hitch at great world with hunk and babes
was a nice show. u know movies.
they always have such beautiful endings
thats why its never real.
anyway i really think the westerns are all so beautiful, so full of poise
just admire them and the way they bring the best outta themselves
and they can walk n run n dance damn well in stilettos
i think stilettos are nice
they nv run out of fashion
love a pair from mango since a long long time
think its cost ard $129?
but duh la, where will i wear it to?!
probably fall before i even begin to walk

yawns so bored..
why is it that one will always feel like snoozing aft lunch?

anyway God pays attention, right down to little details
im going for the passover thingy.
kinda excited bout it. hehs.

im bored bored bored.
supposed to officially start studying today
but i doubt so.
wahahaha..

im actually looking forward to attachmt
kind of anticipating it.
hmmm weird lah.
probably aft the first day i'll complain
thats me.

this is maddening can?!! blog twice, but hit some buttons accidentally and all the post are gone. wthell! anyway just wanna thank suemay for the *winks* and nic for the cd and the blogskin! hee... appreciate it all..

actually got lotsa rubbish to post but nw, no mood already lah.. anyway, the girls have officially have shifted in yesterday.. just pray tt the Lord will look over everything and may there be peace! *peace clap*

ok, so this is the end of my 2nd year life in NP. have to admit that time really really flies. just a twinkling of an eye, a semester's down. mixed feelings i'd say.. sad that i'll have to kinda say schuss to my girls and classmates.. but i guess all good things come to an end, and we all gotta move on. this semester has been really smooth, by God's grace, and yes, ive finally started studying etc, but to nt much avail lah.. haha..

God as been really good to me, and i dont deserve it at all.. keep me in yr prayers yeah.. i really owe Him a lot. sigh.. i know.. words without actions are dead. life is filled with endless uncertainties. and i definitely hate them. the fear of mtg new ppl in a new environmt. having to step out of yr comfort zone and to form a clique and establish frenships with new people. the thought of it is already frightening enough. sigh.. but that'd probable be a part and parcel of life.. but i seriously hate going thru that process.. cause why? im shy. im nt an extrovert. u may think yeah bullshit, u introvert? but its true... really true.. will only be an extrovert when im with really closed peeps. other than that, im pretty much a reserved gal. no pukings please.

haha.. ok.. so ive shared some of my greatest fears in life - having to face uncertainties. lets pray that we'll trust Him wholeheartedly to lead us thru this walk of life yeah?

shouts out to polkathots: hee i got it all right yeah babe? actually i knew abt it already but tot u dont really want ppl to know so i hush it. nice to see u, really! miss u lots and im sure the woman does feel the same way too! anyway take care lurvve, may u have a peaceful and pleasant wk at worrk! huggies!

bleah.

Gold crown up for grabs

What Is A Root Canal?
Underneath your tooth's outer enamel and within the dentin is an area of soft tissue called the pulp, which carries the tooth's nerves, veins, arteries and lymph vessels. Root canals are very small, thin divisions that branch off from the top pulp chamber down to the tip of the root. Yes thats the thing that's bothering me right now. cool name huh? root canal? thwi. A tooth has at least one but no more than four root canals.

Why do I feel pain?
When the pulp becomes infected due to a deep cavity or fracture that allows bacteria to seep in, or injury due to trauma, it can die. Damaged or dead pulp causes increased blood flow and cellular activity, and pressure cannot be relieved from inside the tooth. Pain in the tooth is commonly felt when biting down, chewing on it and applying hot or cold foods and drinks. no i dont feel pain at all. nt for the root canal one. but for other holes at the back. screams weird.

Why do I need root canal therapy?
Because the tooth will not heal by itself. Without treatment, the infection will spread, bone around the tooth will begin to degenerate, and the tooth may fall-out. Pain usually worsens until one is forced to seek emergency dental attention. The only alternative is usually extraction of the tooth, which can cause surrounding teeth to shift crookedly, resulting in a bad bite. Though an extraction is cheaper, the space left behind will require an implant or a bridge, which can be more expensive than root canal therapy. If you have the choice, it's always best to keep your original teeth. Yes i need it before its too late. and where the hell do i get the money? damn. and yes i want back my original teeth. dont wanna be a bo gay. sobs.

What is a root canal procedure?
A root canal is a procedure done to save the damaged or dead pulp in the root canal of the tooth by cleaning out the diseased pulp and reshaping the canal. The canal is filled with gutta percha, a rubberlike material, to prevent recontamination of the tooth. The tooth is then permanently sealed with possibly a post and/or a gold or porcelain crown. This enables patients to keep the original tooth. my original tooth will probably be in hell cuz it has decayed too badly to make it to heaven.

What is involved in root canal therapy?
Once your general dentist performs tests on the tooth and recommends therapy, he or she can perform the treatment or refer you to an endo-dontist (a pulp specialist). Treatment usually involves one to three appointments.
First, you will probably be given a local anesthetic to numb the area. A rubber sheet is then placed around the tooth to isolate it. Next, a gap is drilled from the crown into the pulp chamber, which, along with any infected root canal, is cleaned of all diseased pulp and reshaped. Medication may be inserted into the area to fight bacteria. Depending on the condition of the tooth, the crown may then be sealed temporarily to guard against recontamination, or the tooth may be left open to drain, or the dentist may go right ahead and fill the canals.
If you're given a temporary filling, usually on the next visit it's removed and the pulp chamber and canal(s) are filled with rubberlike gutta percha or another material to prevent recontamination. If the tooth is still weak, a metal post may be inserted above the canal filling to reinforce the tooth. Once filled, the area is permanently sealed. Finally, a gold or porcelain crown is normally placed over the tooth to strengthen its structure and improve appearance. i'll have a ah-ma gold tooth infront. so i need to bun up my hair and change my image.

What are the risks and complications?
More than 95 percent of root canal treatments are successful. I'll probably be in the 5%. However, sometimes a case needs to be redone due to diseased canal offshoots that went unnoticed or the fracturing of a canal filing instrument used-both of which rarely occur. Occasionally, a root canal therapy will fail altogether, marked by a return of pain.

What happens after treatment?
Natural tissue inflammation may cause discomfort for a few days, which can be controlled by an over-the-counter analgesic. A follow-up exam can monitor tissue healing. From this point on, brush and floss regularly, avoid chewing hard foods on the treated tooth, and see your dentist regularly. relatively pessimistic that mine will continue rotting till the golf-course inside my mouth is complete.

a gold crown will do me just fine.
now im scared.
really scared.
the painful truth have just begin to sink in
wil u just keep me in yr prayers?
human beings need to be shaken to draw em back to their GOD.
im no exception.
shame on me.

shattered into a million pieces broken teeth

this is super depressing
trip to the dental was horrendous
omg.
whats gonna happen to me?
didnt know things will be so bad.
did 4 fillings, 3 xrays, 180 buckeroos gone jus like that
another apptmt soon
teeth infront got into some root canal prob
turning black
shit. its really shit this time.
he said 90+ percent it'll be very jialat
and he said i got a golf-course inside ma mouth
and the front tooth is bad, close to the nerves
and its gonna be like a mini op
will feel uncomfortable,
and requires an injection
oh my oh my.
how fair can life get?
and that'll prob cause btw 250-300 buckeroos.
just where can i get that money?

.shattered.

why are some ppl so likable
some so detestable
others cute
some u see n u wanna slap them

somethings are given to u
but u dont want it
some are nt meant for you
but u desperately want it

u know its wrong
u keep repeating the same error
but u think u can change it
and u think u'll correct it

God'll never allow such things
if u TRUST
if u OBEY
if u LISTEN.

__________________________

gays are everywhere.
and damn, they are cute.
wasted. sigh. i want em.

humans are terrible.
they love to judge.
but they forget that speck of dust in their own eyes.
that includes me.

feels great to be home
where everythg seems so familiar
a refuge, a safe haven, a shelter
schs cmg to an end
aint i glad
have been waiting for some time
then again theres the attachmt
which is giving me the creeps

anyway if u wanna bitch abt someone,
just bitch, dont try to act nice yet bitch at the same time
turns me off. coward.
wanna stare just stare.
dont turn yr eyes away when the other party stares bk.
geddit?

i think im a hypocrite. muahaha.
at least im honest.
alright i'll try to change.

my evil twin stitched a bear for me
so sweet!
thanks twinnie... =)
am gonna miss u while u're at work!

i want a pair of birkies
& a pair of melissa celebrations

dentist on fri
im scared
but i have make a trip before my teeth rot turn black like count olaf.

ok im gonna sleep soon.
dreamland here i come!!!
ta-ta! *grins

thank God that it wasnt sucha blur monday afterall. was a happy one infact, after the cranky wk before. really sucky week, so glad it has ended! the old is gone and the new is come!

what a kancheongfied morn. not a gd start. was suppose to bk-up but pants nt here yet. end up was on keyboard. but nvm, still worshipping God all the same.

my mama' became my twin today. was in the exact same style n colors with a black cardigan. wahaha.. and like i said, great minds think alike! hee.. or perhaps it was telepathy...?

and as we were shopping alone the streets of bugis, we noticed abt 3 pairs of homosexuals. oh my.. wonder what on earth is happening to these ppl. is it cuz gals are depleting? i certainly dont think so, cuz there are so many gals out there who are still unattached! this is really weird man. what is the world coming to? and if u realised, homos are usually quite handsome. sucha pity they aint straight, so u can only feast yr eys on em, but nt devour them.. wahahaaa.. sounds like im a sick carnivore..

sundays are always well spent days with my darls and peeps i love. *muacks. God sent em to make my life so much happier.

but then. its Monday. which means the blues are here to stay. damn.

http://www.wolfie.cz/dog/

hilarious. comes with free vulgarities a quarter fish, 3 quater duck.. anti racism peeps stay clear.

tick tock tick tock

2.30 am and im still wide awake.
somethings wrong.
cant adjust the mode of snoozing time.
oh man.

im sick and tired of hearing the same thing over and over again! so stop it for goodness sake.

wj just told me we dont belong to this world.. thanks for reminding pal.. something's nt right. blame it on the weather, blame it on PMS, blame it on everythg but not me. damn. happy in one moment, depressed the next. wth. seem to be tearing almost every other day. becoming part of my daily routine. i seriously dont know what is up with me. and what is up with the people around me. i dont even want to think about it. make me even more depress.

shes doing it over and over again. im disappointed. but who am i to bloody well judge? whats the pt of doing qt but repeating the same sin everyday? isnt it contradicitng? u are just fooling yrself and thats dumb. and no, i dont think that's what God wants u to do.

i miss sleeping.
i miss my home.
i miss my dad n mum.
i miss the tv set.

above all, im crying yet again.

happiness doesnt last. so dont try to make it stay.

i l.o.v.e m.y K.e.r.p.a.u d.a.r.l.i.n.g.

Morning madness with a hint of kicking the dog.

yup, morning madness. eyelids are drooping.
i seriously want to get out of this rut.
havent been attending classes also.
crosses finger that he doesnt see the letter.

anyway jerky boys are really hilarious.
send me laughing til tears roll down my cheeks.
kinda vulgar, but all the less funny
and its not LAME, but FUNNY.

->nick
thanks so much for all yr help!
really appreciate it!
owe u one.

wonder what has gotten into me nowadays.
but the sight of u pisses me off all the same.
like i say, dont take me for granted.
and no im not gonna be nice anymore.
at least not to you.

being nice doesnt pay.
oh well. nvm.
its not worth it.
after all.
im nothing.
sigh.
and into the box i hide.

cheap thrills brings me expensive happiness

was distracted this time. cuz he was basically recapping what he taught us the previous time. but still cool lah. the way he play. im awed.

anyway. the finger issue. ahaha... think i worry too much, and get the jitters easily. saw blood and immediately gt dizzy spells. shock. haha. send out smses to that 4 ppl. u guys shd be privileged shd u rec that sms.. wahaha.. kidding.. so scared, i cried. useless bum. and uncle george better appreciate it and frame it up like what he said! ha..

got a pair of green shoes for just 6 buckeroos! so happy! and a watch too.. think im shopping too much recently. just gt a skirt n shirt last fri. and i got tons of things fr diaso too!!! hee. oh well. nvm. money are meant to be spent. so now im officially broke. which means that if u have money, kindly donate some to me. thanks! jk.

got smthg with dot for amei. haha kinda cute. feel like keeping it for myself. smthg really cute. i may just keep it for myself *shhhh...

ok so now theres nothing left on my shopping list. hmmm mayb that exodus shoes which is gg for a song? haha but its green. again. green. i guess hanging out too much with certain ppl will definitely influence one. oh man. im beginning to like green.

25.5/30 for pqs, 18/20 for sq proj. see how nice my God is? tho i obviously dont deserve it at all. He made all these possible. =)

so glad no classes tmr. om lect but think i havent attended more than 3 since sch started. but gotta do proj. siansation. but that's life. and it still have to go on. forget who just said that to me. hmmm... *ponders

Suaty said if i were a book, i am...
A fun read most of the time, mysterious @ sometimes, comes in handy @ alot of times?

up to you to interprete.

eh why so dark ah..

outside nydc!

nerds united!

pea & mrs tuck!

pearlie n wenjun~!

hee lianbangs united!

sec sch besties! & sisters in christ, haaa

Me and wenjun!

injustice shall not be tolerated! haahhaa..

thanks guys, for the sumptuous fare tonite.. i'd prob be hm alone w/o food if it werent for u all.. haha xie xie ni men... very yummy!

i really hate pqs. the worse thing is mr so&so and miss so&so.. need to stay up just to wait for em to send the bloody report so can complete the ppt slides. what the hell lah.. shitified.. think i shant wait. i wanna snooze already. hate that guy man. only know how to say, dunno how to do. ARGHHH. gross. so what if u dont like to draw lines? fcuk lah, then no need to do isit? stupid. dumb. in the end fish bone diagram also nt in microsoft wd. he just scan it in, with all his handwritings. oh my... *faints.

the second terrible thing's our om proj. how can a person use no. of words to grade a proj?!!! duh, u are supposed to give QUALITY wk, not quantity wk what! whats the point if u b u l l s h i t a lot and have got no substance and focus?! isnt is better if one produces good, short and sweet answers which are all straight to the pt? isnt the maximum no. of wds just a guideline?! duh... but nvm guys, we did our best... at least we came up with smthg within 2 days! wahaha... ok i shall stop self-deluding.

other than that, life has been GREAT. finally can tan again aft sucha long time. but todays sun was nt that cooperative lah.. and then they both came at 12?! when we have lesson at 2?! tan what??? hahaaa... didnt bathe aft that, think we reek of coconut oil smell when we step into the class.. so happy, there wasnt anything that i need to study, nor was there any wk to be done. but then again, have i ever done tutorials? haha.. * gd qns*

grossed out. cuz. yucks. bleah. just kill me.

1.5 mks... thanks...

He has been really good to me. help me time and time again when i tot that i couldnt make it. thank u Lord, really... i know it's You. It has been You who was there for me. You are the one who made it all possible, tho i refuse to admit it at times. im sorry.

met up with wenjun pearl weilun at holland.. so happie to see em, my clique in sec school.. had dinner at nydc then coffee and starbucks... and i wanna apologised, cuz when i get excited, i tend to talk and laugh really loud. and i think we were too noisy... was laughing damn loudly with shrieks in between. ppl kept giving us that bloody stares... if i were one of them, i'll prob ask the waiter to kick our asses out, haha.. but who gives a damn anyway, as long as u are having fun & enjoying yrselves yeah? was reminiscing the bout the good old days back in sec sch.. man, i miss those times already... upper sec sch had been tons of fun. just plain crazy... think our class is ultimate lah, things we do really are mad. hahaaa.. miss em all...

finally i can take a breather! no more tests, no need for retests, just projects! *heaves a sigh of relief...* hmmm mayb can go tanning tmr morn, if i can wake up! wahaha... yawns... oh yeah i wanna go for a hol! ahaha mayb just taking e train to KL for a great time of shopping! or simply putting out at a resort to take a break fr the hectic life... that'd be cool.. prob gotta start planning.. shall make the trip a short one during my study break... hehs.

come out come out, wherever you are...

chatted with her over msn. what a surrprise to see her online. guess she have been reeeli busy nowadays plus her msn screwed up at hm.. anyway she was saying that she shouldnt blame us for leaving her out, cuz ultimately, she hasnt been able to spend much time with us, so i guess distancing is inevitable. but nevertheless, i still love her, hoping to be able to catch up more with her.. also feel the wall that is wedging its way in. used to be so close, really really close, to the extent that we send smses to each other everyday.. was prob less than 2 yrs ago.. but suddenly, things changed dramatically... mayb nt in a dramatic way, but just feel the gap btw both of us now. definitely it'll be a lil saddening, but what to do? thats life... we still have to get on. anyway, she has been a really sweet sister, giving me advices everynow and then, enlighten me in many ways, letting me see things in a different perspective. and of cuz we have our misunderstandings at times, but at the end of the day, all things are resolved, and we're one step closer to knowing one another better that ever before. so i wanna thank God for putting her in my life! really! she has been a bundle of joy ever since i know her, say 5 years ago? though she has left some tracks of disappointments, i still love her all the same! all the notes of encouragements that we have exchanged, the smses, the lil sweet cards, appreciate it all!

its just amazing when i come to think of all the angels that God have sent me when i walk the path of life. one of the best things in life are all the people that God had blessed me with. i really cant imagine how i can survive w/o them. everytime i look forward to greater times of togetherness with them, be it parties, camps, cell, fellowship, mahjong sessions, bday celebrations or just heart to heart talk makes me feel that im loved. truly loved & treasured by them. its just the accountability that let me have the assurance that someone cares. and the familyhood that just bloom & blossom like a flower gives me hope that helps me to live on with a common purpose in life, which is to win more for Christ. and i know that they'll always be there, no matter what happens.

something that my bestie said when we had a misunderstanding some time ago. hope it encourages all of us in a way or so.

I am as perturbed & disturbed & perhaps even disillusioned at times. But despite it all, God IS great, He saved us & His love is undeniable, so let us just let tat simple fact awe us for a moment.

to her: Ohana means FAMILY, and family means that NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND.

no retail therapy but more n more binging
like i aint fat enough, haaaa
town today was awesome, just tt i didnt buy anythg, sob.
walked with lizzie til tanglin mall again
jess went watch movie with marilyn...

my results
aaa70/100
ec 77/100
om 31/50
pmkt 43.5/50
ep 90/100

im happy, and thankful. but i need to wk so much more harder on my aaa and om... pqs paper was ok, think i shd be able to pass. Ecd was a sucker. damn. so bloody difficult, wondering if i can sail thru it..

was blog surfing yesterday, and saw many depressing posts, all about having lost their papas/mamas, and it was really tear-jerking... come to realise that i should nt take things for granted, but to really cherish my parents and appreciate all the things they have done for us.

one particular one

- why is life filled with so many obligations? obligation to tidy my house, obligation to take care of my brother.. obligation to inject... medicine into my mother....
that long syringe... the worry of my mother's wounds being affected if i didnt wash my hands
properly... the tube that is partly inserted in her body and partly outside for me to inject the medicine to it.

the feelings of pain when i injected the medicine into her.. the tiredness she has... and the long days of not seeing my sis ard at home just because she cannot accept the fact that my mum is down with sickness... and i have the obligation to do the part of injection in sec 3.

"yesterday is yr chinese birthday, she died after that." the words that i heard fr my godma when i reached the hosp too late. the pain that i've felt have been tormenting me till now, she had waited.. after that..

i really wish i had the chance of sharing the gospel with her. she need the Lord. to get a new lease of hope, hope that is rooted in the wonderful acts of God in creation and history.

i L.O.V.E. walking.

"God has come to wipe away our tears. He is doing it; He will have it done as soon as He can; and until He can He would have them flow without bitterness; to which end He tells us it is a blessed thing to mourn because of the comfort that is on its way."

While we wait for that comfort, we can be assured that God will not allow us to be tested beyond our ability to bear the trial. Every difficult circumstance is timed with exact precision. Every hard situation is screened through His perfect love. We will not suffer one moment more, nor will we suffer more intensely than is necessary. "To a close-shorn sheep God gives wind by measure" goes an old Basque saying. In other words, God will not allow those most vulnerable to life's difficulties to be overtaken by them.

There may be deep waters through which you must wade; there may be fires through which the ore of your character must pass. But in the midst of them God promises to be your partner, companion, and faithful friend. He will "perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you" (1 Peter 5:10).

And then, when He has finished His work, He will take you home to heaven and wipe away all your tears”forever (Revelation 21:4). He knows our burdens and our crosses,Those things that hurt, our trials and losses;He cares for every soul that cries”God wipes the tears from weeping eyes.

Tears are often the telescope by which we can see into heaven.

f.a.l.l.e.n. a.n.g.e.l.

one of those really bad days where things just dont fall in the right place, and you begin to ponder just how you are gonna sail thru the raging seas that came crashing unto you. So you begin to doubt, doubt the existence of yr life. i mean c'mon its just mid-wk, wednesday, and there are 4 more days before it comes to an end. feeling so helpless and theres no one there who helps. everyone's busy with their own lives i know, and i cant expect them to be ard forever. i know there's one who's always there. always. 24/7. but He's just too far away. and we've lost contact. for about a year. i know He's still there. He's always there. He promised. im the one who has left.

at my wits end. i really dont know what to do anymore. anyway, crying feels great. releases me of all my sorrows for the moment. perhaps getting drunk helps too. nah, maybe not.

w.e.p.t. buckets. and it's cuz of u.

they sucked the life out of me. damned.

saw my mummy today, and aint i glad, like a familiar face that brightens my day. dunno why had gut feel i'd bump into her and abracadabra! i did but nt exactly bump lah.

so turned out that united artistes network guy was DON, = AH LIE from Double Happiness, the one who kena killed by wenjie, also jiaqian's bf or whatev. so he asked liz n me go down, fill up some form, then had an hr talk. talked bout their Co's aims which is help on realise his or her dreams... what he offered sounds rather lucrative i would say, all the parties, networking with big shots etc etc.. and he mentioned big names too, dick lee, john lee, clarissa monterio, jeremy monterio, ivan heng, yup all the peeps fr the performing arts scene... jeanette aw n fiona xie's also under their mgmt..they were in charge of some productions like light years, forbidden city, the nxt stage etc.. anyway, this Don's like really articulate, and we both thought his voice was quite man over the phone lah, ha.. had a good laugh when we saw him, cuz never did we expect it to be him. but then... must pay lah, 529 leh, to be engaged with them for a period of 18mths.. which includes gg for parties, auditions, engagements, networking with the ppl in the media industry.. definitely sounds fun... but think i shd be concentrating on my studies first, cuz nxt yr will be rather impt.. and i guess only when im free plus i have the money, then i'll go.. so he was saying like it'd be more of the acting scene for me? and i was laughing my head off inside.. ha. and liz will do the hosting one? lol...

i got a skirt fr fox, went home realised it was kinda short. and a sweater! *grins
anyway this week will be quite fucked up la. cuz i gt 2 tests, on thurs n fri, and i havent started much. and time's running out. fuck fuck fuck. damn stress nw i wanna cry. and sleep too. and the bloody **. bitch. waste our time. damn it.

God forgive me.

lao yu shen at hawks hse, thanks guys, it was yummy, haha.. hope fusao'll be aight by tmr, ahaha...

gonna be another d.a.m.n.e.d. day. f-c-u-k.

damn i super tired. doing the damn om proj can be so tiring. no choice, will be out tmr, so gotta get in done now. will cont tmr, cant take it man. write so much only 785 wds. ugh. help please.

thanks liz for the bbq food. haha.. cool rm u've got. thanks shui jing and tracy too for the angbaos.

legs are numb nw. damn.

think im nt wearing the pink polo jess. kinda small. ugh. prob wont wear the necklace too. ha.
anyway, thanks a million for the photobucket thingy. owe u one.

s.c.a.n.d.a.l.o.u.s.

i hate myself.

A big fat liar - thats ME.

firstly, a big thank you to daniel low for the great party! met esther earlier to get the cake n card.. Really had a great time ketchuping & fellowshipping with the crusaders.. so glad i went, cuz had been ages since i last saw em.. had tons of fun during worship, playing games, playing the piano, and celebrating sharon's bday.. and of cuz the food was fantastic! we had yummy pizza, bee hoon, shepherd's pie, coconut kueh, apple crumble and cake! all were equally YUMMILICIOUS! wahaha... im sucha pig.. and he got a nice house too! very classy like semi-d at west coast! so comfy that u wouldnt mind zzzing on the floor! heehee...

i feel so bad today. why? cuz i told a lie. my mama dropped her pouch for putting her shades in the bus. and when she gt down, i got up cuz she came bk from movie with dad, and i board the bus to holland v. she called and asked me to help check if it's there. i bend down, and there it was, in the front.
the bus was packed, nt very though, but i just find it embarrassing to go infront, bend down and pick it up. plus there were 3 ppl at the seats infront where u face each other. i was like ugh. how how how. gonna reach in a jiffy. did i pick it up? no i didnt. sigh. shit me. i know she'd have been really glad if i did. sigh. what a shitified daughter. useless. sigh. so i called her aft i alighted and told her i didnt see it. God forgive me.

have been sleeping bout 3+ nowdays, which is really nt me, cuz i cant really tahan.. was playing mahjong for the past 2 days, quite fun actually, to my surprise, managed to learn the ropes of it, bit by bit..

have another bbq party at liz's hse tmr! hehheh... hope it'll be fun! visiting my churchmates houses on sunday! cool eh, so much fun.

but damn, gotta submit Om proj on sunday, and we havent precisely get the ball rolling. and i've got 3 tests cmg up. heck & feck.

E-commerce Reflections...

Specially Directed for E-commerce Reflections only.

E-commerce to me, have been rapidly becoming a part and parcel of everybody's lives. There has been endless uses to it, such as making purchases online. It has fast spread to all parts of the world, and as long as one is connected to the internet, he/she will be able to make purchases from stores/people from all corners of the earth.

It has never occured to me that i'd ever have to build a website, as I'm not a IT-savvy person. However, after i've been throught the mid-point semester of the EC module, I am happy to say that it has indeed helped me a lot in terms of acquiring the skills and knowledge of designing a website for a online store.

The thing that i've gain most in this e-commerce module, is to build a website using dreamweaver. I am glad to say that building a website thus far have been a rather smooth job, except for a few screw-ups when previewing the site. In conclusion, E-commerce have been a rather interesting module to it, and whatever i've learnt there will certainly be put to good use in the days to come.

blogger is super spastic n sensitive
just a click n everythg i typed previously was gone
damned.

had reunion lunch at grandmama's place.. yummy suckling pig - ate myself! Wahaha.. but then it feels kinda awkward to be there lah.. cuz im nt very close to relatives of my daddy's side.. so am glad its just once a year, haha...

aft went to get the OP plum colored skorts at west mall.. yeeps. then came home, packed my room n the study table, til nt am nt done. cant be bothered.. shall wait til tmr.. anyway, nobody's cmg tmr, so i can sleep in til late, go suntan, cut my mag collage, deco my album, cont to spring clean, watch dvd, watch tv, pig out, sleep again, read mag, do some wk, pig out again, wahaha...

reunion dinner was at hm, me dad n mum n brud. nt very often that we eat tog, so i guess it was kinda nice, tho we dont really talk much.. had steamboat, which was actually disgusting cuz chopsticks used for fishing the food in the soup was also used to fish for food meant to get into our stomach. so i've come to a conclusion: IT WAS THE INTERCHANGED SALIVA THAT BINDS OUR FAMILY TOGETHER. yeah riiigghhhtttttt...

gg chinatown with hemeinu, laoda, nick, brigitte, hawk n ah diam ltr! hopefully i wont get lost in there! wahaha..

anyway, this joshua's mama is very cute, like the way she talked abt joshua etc etc.. make me laugh n feel warm! and then she talk about feng ge, feng didi.. wahaha.. jusy FUNNY.

what shd i do if im still left on the shelf by the age of, say 30? mayb i shd go be a nun, oops i mean a sister and serve God all my life, hahaha.. dunno why im so worried also, guess im feeling old already, yeah im a aunty. mayb i shall meet jess 9 yrs ltr at the place where we made the pact, and fly off to canada where they legalise lesbian marriages. grins. i keep telling ppl that having a bf is nt everythg, yet im actually worrying. contradicting huh. worstill, i need to have a christian bf, which means chances are super slim. think i shd just die n disappear. wahaha.

but then having a boyfriend is nt really everything. i believe that when it's time, and when God says yes my daughter, then its really time. there's no point hurrying and end up getting hurt. some ppl think that its so impt to have a bf, and that they'll die if they dont have 1. i think its like duh.

was watching news and then came this piece on a lil 4 yr old boy who drove to a vcd shop to get vcd! what the!!! goodness, must have scared the shit outta his parents! just 4 years old! but come to think of it, its a lil funny also lah, make one wanna laugh! cute but scary.

ANYWAY, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! (='0'=)

i am super tired. Oh my. Simply cant believe it. Combed the entire orchard rd a few times and yet i got NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL. SOBS. so depressing yeah lizzie... tried on endless lingerie, skirt etc but got NOTHING. proj disussion from bout 12 til 1 plus.. then jalan ard for 9 whole hrs. and then aft that liz n i actually walked from town to grange rd, to gleaneagles, to dempsey rd. think we were a lil crackers to have actually done that. but it was fun anyway, sort of like exercising? ha... just doing lame things while walking, and snapping pictures away... think we made a hell lot of noise. too bad jess left early, she was tired, plus someone visited her... *winks

walked til dempsey, thought we'd take a cab... but we waited for what seems forever, for an empty cab to arrive... and guess what? it didnt! ugh.. so took 75 to jelita, got some ice-cream and hailed for cab, but to no avail. ugh. in the end, took 75 home. wthell can... then liz stop at my place and got a cab, haha.. dunno why but she seems really excited when she managed to get the cab. kind of like high', think a bit mad lah, but nt surprising lor.. think she more ke lian. want cut hair fully booked, want thread brows, fully booked. Sigh.

right now, my legs are aching from all the walking, but it was rather fun lah, something worth remembering. then aud asked me wanna go IMM aft 12am, turned out i think nic n brigitte fell asleep.. haha.. anyway, think my legs are too tired to carry me any further.

turns out that maggie and sharon will be putting out at hawk's place for the time being, which may actually be more than 1/2 a yr! so coooooool can! then can bring them go club and go home late late! Muahaha... but one's 14 and the other's 16... Hmmm... anyway, look forward to that! will be able to go shopping til super late n have companion back hm! yeah and i'll force them to go tanning, swimming with me! whaaha.. and can go for music prac tog! and can watch midnight movies! YAHOO!!! hehheh.. these are such great ideas! hmmm mayb can ask them help sweep the floor, wash toilet at my hse too!! GGGGRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAATTTTTT!!!!! can do all sorts of CRAZY THINGS! late suppers at ALAMEEN! but they only make us fatter, hmmm nvm, once in a blue moon shd be fine! WONDERFUL!!!

ok this is great, papers down, and i got to go shopping later. sorry i didnt go cocco latte guys.. hope nobody's mad.. know u peeps sure had tons of fun!

oh yeah, nic n aud both got blogs! likle wah serious ah? haha.. nv would i have imagined them to ever ever have a blog, but anyway, good lah, can add to my links! wahaha... supposed to go tanning with fish n suat, but too bad i got prac.. anyway they cmg church later so we can all go shopping! and then ah diam may join us too, yeeps!

JESSELYN LIM!!! wahaha... i'm still SHOCK from the AFTERMATH. cant believe it . omg. omg. omg.

think im gonna have a 1 wk CNY break! cool huh, think it's gonna be e-learning
some things are sure funny. hmmm. really funny. i think my God is really really humourous. think im thinking too much on my part. but i really do wish u'd open your eyes wide and look around you, and tell me what you see.

YES, I've got the phone!
wanna say a huge thanks to my DAD in heaven!
and the one on earth too!
was grinning from ear to ear!
only prob.
i wanted the piano black one
but outta stock
still am very thankful! haha...
my very new toy!!!

gonna be out the whole day tmr
tan, music prac, party, mayb nt party
sunday too
church, aud's place
sigh... wanna study yet i dun wanna miss out the fun
ugh.

EC is nt getting into my head. nt at all.
sobs. and a/cs suck. BIG TIME.
cant wait for tests to be over.

i love gillman village.
wanna go back there soon!

almost wanted to kill that PUB ah beng
so rude n unreasonable.
my dad bathe half-way he switch off the water supply
told him nicely and ask if can switch it back
and he said " BU KE YI"
fcuk lor, go and die lah.
was damn pissed then
haha come to think of it
it was hilarious.

i really like this... but its for kids.. sigh...

*note to those having their first paper tmr
all the best guys!

i like chinese new year
infact im excited abt it
u get to pig out on goodies
u get angbaos
u get to meet up with ppl u haven seen for a long time!
u get to ketchup with em
u get to play with the kids
u get to play with the toddlers
u get to wear nice clothes
so who doesnt

vincents bday party's this cmg sat
not invited
but esther pulled me along
tot it'd be weird n duh if i go
but esther said rayson's the one who asked em along
kinda feel like gg
ketchup with esther june and all.
hmmm...

super unproductive today
sigh
tests getting nearer
yet i have no sense of urgency
this is so shitified
ugh.

saw this le coq sportif mini canvas tote in the mag
i wanna get it!!
and the freshbox bruce lee tee!!
and the gior jr!!
and the cups fr mini toons!!!
Ahhhh.
LASTLY, i want that phone.

now finally xxx has poured out xxx frustations
and i couldnt really be bothered
i know it all makes sense
but i just refuse to let it sneak into my mind
i dont want to get myself into the shit
yes i know its selfish.
but i shouldnt be the one suffering
i should be well provided for
i dont wanna make comparisons.
but it just isnt fair.
know everything have been given
but its not enough
i know im demanding too much.
sigh.

being a christian is tough.
i think im becoming not a lukewarm one,
but a really cold one
for sucha long time i've been neglecting His word
so long
u wouldnt want to know.
think He's ashamed of me.
i am ashamed of myself too.
very ashamed.

funny

Always freezing cold when I’m out at the balcony
Another day wasted, drifted away to papaya land
I think I’ve grown to be much more independent
Was tanning alone this morn. Alone.
Something that I’d never ever done
So I would proudly declare that I’m proud of myself!
*pat on the back

Guess this term really literally flies
Supposed to submit the PQS report last Thursday
But we just did it yesterday.
Just can believe how terrible we are
Oh my.

Dad says he’s gonna help me change the phone
But with the works going on at home
Doubt he’ll do it anytime soon
So it’s rather disappointing I would say
Perhaps good things come after waiting

So bored staying at home to study
Nothing productive was done at all.
Kept walking and walking around.
Touch this touch that.

I want to get this freshbox tee I saw in seventeen
It had a picture of Bruce Lee on it
Like it lots! Can’t wait…
The gior jr jacket that I wanted was no longer available.
Sobs.

So what if u had money?
It can’t buy you everything.

i wanna get this phone!

i wanna get this phone! *winks

1) I WANNA GO SHOPPING!
Thank God for sending me angels
To fill my pocket with funds
Just that I wish they could so it more often, heh
I need to buy things!!!

2) I WANNA HAVE A GOOD SLEEP
Know I’ve been having enough sleep
But think I’m lacking of oxygen today
Kept yawning and I slept in the hosp

3) I WANNA SPEND TIME WITH NAOMIANS.
Wish they would spare me some of their time
But guess it’s just wishful thinking on my part
They are always so so busy
With work, or rather with boyfriends
Hmmm maybe I should get a life, get a bf
Then again maybe not, haha.
Who would want me?
No thanks, not him. Bleah.

4) I WANNA KETCHUP WITH PEARLIE, JOANNA & VENOM
Want to meet up with them and catch up with one another
Just like we used to in the good’ old days
P’s always busy with what else but her bf
J’s always busy with her church stuff
V’s missing in action.
Probably stuck in some hole in LaSalle.
Sometimes I do wish that I’ll take more initiative in doing things

5) I WANNA PICK UP THAI, SPANISH, FRENCH AND DRUMS.
I want to learn a new lang!
Haha… but I know I’ll never get it done
I want to learn drums.
But… sigh…